Download Retrieved….Analyzing….Analyzing, sender indentified…Pen name: Dan the Wireman.

Sending from: Daniel's Chronicler's Journal, AKA annoying talking wristwatch that should stop being a pain in the…Message begun

Disclaimer: If I owned Bionicle I would not have been in this situation…

A/N: Who's ever reading this well thank you. If any of you have been wondering where I am, having fallen off the face of the Earth quite literally. Yes it is bizarre story but to tell the truth I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. I'd rather not speak of some of this but CJ, as I call my annoying talking watch, thinks I should chronicle my journey in case I don't make it…. Message finished. Journal entry activated…

Writer's Journey

Chapter 1: Journey's Start

Why does this always happen to me? Perhaps it would best to recount what led up to this. My name's Dan, on my pen name is Dan the Wireman. Long story how I got that name, so we won't talk about that. So anyways the day started out quite fine, it was Spring and I was enjoying an afternoon walk; as the air was still cool. I had my earphones in and was listening to my iPod. I heard a loud buzzing noise. I paused my iPod looking at my surroundings. Nothing, I started the song again and continued walking. This time the buzzing noise got louder. So I pulled off the headphones and put away the iPod. BOOM! It sounded like lightning had struck right near my ear drum. I was disoriented, but I immediately shook myself to when I saw it. A swirling vortex held place in front of me. I tried to look through the portal. All I could see was blue. Now you think any normal, sane person would run away, arms flaying, screaming at the top of their lungs, but I have a nasty habit of being a little curious when I shouldn't be, probably because I read too much. Too late did I realize that I ventured to close to the portal, and I felt myself getting pulled in, I'm all for adventure but this was a little too soon for that. I clawed at the ground as I felt my feet enter the portal.

"Help anyone!" I yelled no luck. I dug my hands harder into the ground as the portal pulled me in more, this time when I looked back; the portal had enveloped me up to my waist. I kept on screaming, hoping that someone would eventually come along. Then it happened so suddenly I can hardly remember, my grip on the ground had weakened and next instant I found myself floating around inside the portal. I could feel myself pick up speed as I plunged through the portal. Faster, and faster I was starting to get dizzy being spun so many times. I closed my eyes and the next instant I opened them I found myself vomiting on the floor of room, where only one light shone. I stumbled back and forth before steadying. It was a spotlight on me and suddenly I felt very uncomfortable and alone.

"Humans, is traveling through portals really that bad? I mean seriously I just cleaned up that floor yesterday." A feminine voice sighed.

"Who are you and where the heck am I?" I demanded. I wasn't really in a good mood after being spun around like a top.

"I am a Great Being my name unfortunately, I cannot tell you. You are Daniel and we are both in a pocket dimension that I created so we could talk about your mission." The voice replied. My mission?! I didn't sign up for anything. All I knew was that I sucked through a portal somewhat abruptly for no reason. Then again most things did happen for a reason so perhaps listening to the disembodied voice of an omnipotent woman was a good idea.

"My mission? I don't remember agreeing to anything and also why the hell would you want me? I'm just a slightly overweight, annoyingly sarcastic teenager." I replied.

"You won't be able to return home until you do some work for us I am a Great Being after all." She shot back, not really giving me a choice.

"Well I didn't say I didn't want to travel to the Bionicle Universe if that's what you're asking. I'm just a little confused at why you would need my help exactly." My replied was a video on a wall where Toa and Kopaka were kissing and in the background I saw Lewa, Onua, and Pohatu skipping and holding hands. My face crumpled in disgust. Another screen showed what looked like all of male Toa but now they were all girls and humans at that. Another showed a barren wasteland, littered with the bodies of many Toa and other species of Bionicle. Then another where all of the Toa were singing and dancing like it was a musical. I looked away and took a breath to steady myself.

"The barrier between fanfiction and the Bionicle Universe has fallen. Bionicle fanfiction writers along with others are tearing our universe apart and making a mockery of it. We sent other authors but we fear that they succumbed to their own fantasies of Bionicle." The female Great Being continued.

"Why don't you get some of the other authors, I'm sure they could do a better job than me." I said.

"What did I say? The universe is flooded with authors and other threats. We're sending you to get to the heart of things and resolve this matter. I believe that these many different alternate universes are acting as new barriers to keep us from resolving the matters on our own terms." She answered annoyed at her position. I would be too if I couldn't control my own Universe.

"So you're using fire to fight fire. Fine, do I have any help?" I asked, my mindset was already changing I was beginning to think of how to fix this problem but until I got into the thick of it I wouldn't know.

"Yes you first might note that you aren't human anymore, at least in body." I yelped as I looked to see that the floor had grown closer to me, and that my body was more of a soft, organic metal. My armor seemed to be shifting colors and settled on the fe-matoran gray for the moment. The Great Being continued to speak despite my surprise. "You will be working with CJ; he's your Chronicler's Journal and will aid you to the best of his ability. He is somewhat annoying but I'm sure you'll be able to handle him."

"Hey, hey, hey! I am not annoying; I'm charming, handsome and by far one of the most intelligent creations of the Great Beings." The thing strapped to my wrist yelled, this time I jumped five feet in the air spooked out of my mind. I swallowed and then replied.

"You're a talking wristwatch how anyone one would find you handsome is beyond me." I muttered.

"How anyone finds you attractive is beyond me too Daniel. Oh wait no one finds you attractive…." CJ sneered.

"Alright that's it give me a mallet, I'll smash apart this cheap piece of plastic." I snapped the thought of being with this thing wasn't making me any happier with my circumstances.

"ENOUGH! You two will work together and that is final! Daniel I will offer you one last tool." A golden pen fell into my open hands.

"This is a pen." I grumbled.

"It's what you need it to be. I'm sending you to Metru Nui." The female Great Being said, before I could react I whisked away. The world around me twirled once again and I felt myself fall to the ground. Finally it was all over I was on solid land again. I got up and looked around in surprise; my now lavender eyes grew wide in surprise.

Metru Nui had been transformed. It was still the large Island-City of Bionicle with refineries in Ta-Metru. I could see the knowledge towers of Ko Metru in the distance and I could see Le-Metru with it airships flying overhead. Everything for a second looked normal except for a few things. Large TV screens hung onto the massive skyscrapers that had been built close to the Coliseum. I heard music pouring out of the speakers. My mouth dropped open in utter disbelief as the lights came up on the music video, a familiar Miru had a grin on it and then his mouth opened. The green Toa Nuva with the silver chest plate and shoulder pads was singing "Everything is Alright" by Motion City Soundtrack. Onua was on drums and Pohatu was playing guitar. I walked away in confusion towards the Coliseum, like someone had put me under drugs.

The Great Being was right as I walked through the crowded Metru Nui, this place was messed up beyond belief. As I walked I saw many different types of beings, many of them were of the normal Bionicle stock. There were a few standouts however, half-human/half-animals with tails and ears walked past me. Humans with bright colored hair that had to be human Toa, this was getting weird and many others I care not to think at the moment. I was raised in the country so this large city feel was kind of uncomfortable and confusing for me. I needed to find somewhere to take a breath and I quickly made for a door. I ran inside the dark, musty room and sneezed as my allergies started. A voice rose that was from the darkness and it was obviously that of an old man.

"Who is there, what are you doing in my office?" The voice said, I looked around realizing that it was an office. Papers were stacked on a desk, books and scrolls littered the roomed. A fading lightstone hung over head. The being stepped out from the darkness I saw that he was wearing a noble mask of regeneration. He was colored red and black with the robes that I had seen him wear in the comics.

"Turaga Dume is that you?" I asked, happy to find a familiar face among the crowd.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" He coughed, walking toward me with interest in his yellowish eyes. He grabbed my arm and studied it. "Well you do look a normal matoran, a fe-matoran at that."

"Well yeah I'm not sure if you'll believe me but one of the Great Beings sent me." I said, I hoped he was okay so far everyone else did not look normal or act normal. In fact there were people that didn't really belong here including me.

"To tell you the true I'm willing to believe anything, especially good news. So if you were sent by a Great Being what are you here for exactly?" He prodded, seeing if I would tell him more. Why should I hide anything about my mission?

"I'm suppose to fix all this, I'm not sure of how I'm exactly going to do that but I have to." I said scratching my head in wonder.

"Well the sounds like quite a mission because this is quite a mess." He said.

"Can you help me; I'll try and fix this. You seem like the only normal person here." I replied.

"Well I can give you some place to sleep, there's a small house near Ga-Metru. You'll have to figure this out on your own. Like a Toa in my day would, you see back in my day…" He mumbled and started to shamble away from and deeper into his house, leaving a small key in my hand. "If you ever run into something you cannot handle or find out, do seek out my help, I will provide it to the best of my ability." I nodded. Already I was beginning to feel more comfortable with my situation and it seemed a little smaller now. With a heavy sigh I made the long walk to Ga-Metru, trying to avoid any more interactions with crazies on the way there. So with little trouble I reached the Metru and I was glad, I just needed to rest and forget all of this, it just had to be a dream, I opened the door to the small house and made my way towards to what was the bedroom, I dropped down on the bed exhausted….this was just some bizarre dream. I drifted off softly into sleep.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP! Wake up you lazy moron! Come on the Bionicle Universe doesn't need you to be lazy at a time like this." A voice said.

"One more minute…just need to….BOOOM!" I jumped nearly a foot in the air, the sheets of the bed twisting the sheets around me as I slammed on the stone floor. It sounded like some just dropped a bomb on my bed. "What?! What in name of all that's sacred was that?" I yelled, confused and scared over what had just occurred.

"That's what you get when I have to spend more than 2 minutes trying to get your attention." The familiar voice said.

"Oh…damn it CJ. I was hoping all of this Bionicle Universe and you were just a dream. I was really hoping you weren't real." I groaned, struggling with the blankets and getting off the floor. I grabbed the wristwatch and wrapped it around my left arm.

"Believe me I was hoping the same, but wishing doesn't make it so." He replied dryly.

"Okay…Bionicle….fanfiction…fanfiction is messing up Bionicle. CJ, you know what this place is?" I said, musing over the situation.

"It is the Central Hub as far as I can tell, it's where everything and anything can and will exist. I doubt we're going to put a dent in here." CJ replied, thinking on our situation. Annoying as he was CJ wasn't an idiot and I was happy to know I wasn't on my own now. Still he was most aggravating piece of plastic I was dealing with.

"So if we find another universe…say angst…if we find that and find some way to resolve that or sever it from this universe…." I murmured, the solution coming to my mind.

"We can get this one back to normal!" He shouted, excited.

"The real question is how do we get into one of those universes?" I then said aloud.

"Yep…that's going to be an issue. Well you're the hero so you figure it out." I merely shook my head and ignored his comment. I noticed that the color of matoran body had changed from grey to a complete white. Hmmm, I was starting understand what was going on. The color of my body and mask largely depended on my thoughts, actions, and emotions. Since I was thinking this out I looked more like a Ko-matoran I looked like one of them. So it must have been a cloaking thing that the female Great Being gave me, or she just liked messing with me. Grouping me with CJ and just dumping me in the Bionicle Universe made me suspicious of her motives but I didn't really have a choice.

In fact, who could say I couldn't have a little fun…NO! That's exactly what caused this in the first place. I cannot think those thoughts. I had actually spent so much time thinking that I automatically left the house and locked the doors, which I had on occasion done in my everyday life, you know when everything's on autopilot. As I stopped by a stand and found some money I paid for a weird looking green fruit. I gingerly ate it, unsure and scared of the food. Surprisingly it was good but with all the craziness I felt like I could trust nothing, that this fruit might turn me into some animal or something. If anything I was sure I was going to come out of this adventure more paranoid. I made my way towards the Coliseum, the heart of Metru Nui amidst the bustling streets. I had fallen in with a tour group and we made our way through the Coliseum. The group had a little bit of everything from but I wasn't really paying attention, it felt weird how Bionicle seemed to changed into some sort of bizarre amusement park for the enjoyment of fanfiction authors and their characters. I wouldn't be able to enjoy it myself; I had a job to do.

"And this is the spot of the famous fight between Vakama Hordika, and Matau Hordika. Matau left himself open for attack to break Vakama from Roodaka's and Sidorak's lies they then…" I drifted off especially because what she said after that was a COMPLETE LIE and I noticed something else. A lightning matoran was being jostled by a bunch of people that kept pushing her towards the balcony. No. I could see the whole thing slowing down as lightning matoran with blue eyes was pushed over the guardrail. Let me tell you a little about myself, I'm an observer I watch others and read books. However I also understood what a good person does and a part of me couldn't stand the thought of someone falling to their death.

"AHHHHH!" She screamed as she was pitched over the side by the rough crowd. Thinking fast I wrenched a shield from a guard, who gave me a confused look and tearing off one of the banners. In hindsight my next action wasn't the best idea. I threw myself over the balcony and threw the shield underneath my feet. I would have bit my tongue if I had one but matoran aren't like humans, they can taste but don't have tongues. I had to be foolish, I just threw myself off a building, roughly 200 or more stories up in the air and all for a girl I didn't even now. I heard the metal of the tower screech and watched as sparks formed underneath my makeshift snowboard, only this wasn't on the slopes, and I never snowboarded in my life. I was swallowing fear like a glutton at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Fear pulled at me as I zoomed closer to the girl. My teeth shaking from terror I was barely able to make out the words.

"Grab on to me!" I said as I stuck out my left arm. She grabbed on as I pulled her upon the shield and she wrapped herself around me. I grabbed the banner and used it to form a makeshift parachute.

"Wow…that was amazing. How did you learn how to do that?" She said as we drifted through the air. I blushed as she said that, I didn't normally get compliments like that from girls, normally it was the friendly shove off.

"Uhmm….I just watched Matau and Lewa a lot." I said, not sure if I was willing to blow my cover, changing armor gave it away, shifting from red to purple to green and then white.

"You're not a normal matoran are you?" She asked.

"You know it's not the best to ask me these questions when I'm holding the parachute." I replied.

"Still….?" She prodded.

"My name is Dan."

"You mean Dan the Wireman, as in the writer of the Avenging Angel fanfic? I love Talius, in fact I even seen him walk around here before."

"Who are you?" I questioned as we floated down to the ground.

"Just a girl that reads your fics." She replied as we softly touched the ground. "Well, see you around Dan." She winked and waved goodbye walking away. And somewhere in my heart I knew I would see her again and I couldn't tell whether that was going to be a good or bad thing. I heard a crackling behind me and saw another vortex.

"Well Dan, you ready to launch yourself straight into hell?" CJ spoke up. I stood close to the portal as it crackled with blue light and sparks.

"If this is the only way to save Bionicle then we have no other choice." I dived into the portal, to where I had no idea. I was sure it was going to be different, weird, and fun all at the same time. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into when I choose this mission and I was going to need all the help I could get. This adventure would test everything from my sanity to my ability to take a joke. That's what you get when Bionicle and Fanfiction mix, insanity of epic proportions.

Journal entry ended….beginning ending message: A/N:

CJ: Dan would probably not want me to tell you this but our adventure gets hilarious in "Dude Looks like a Lady". Dan thinks it isn't funny but this story is pretty good and I thought it was hilarious primarily because it embarrasses Dan, a lot. See you all later! –CJ

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