The begining kinda sucks a lot....

I didn't know how to start it, sorry.

-McNerdie

Chapter 1: the Beginning.

Hello, my name is Brittney. My real name is Isabella Brittney Evens, but when I was little I always wanted to be called Brittney. But my Dad always called me Izzy.

I am 18 now, but my story is…..

Shocking, Horrible, Sad, Impossible, seems so untrue. But it is…. There is no other story like mine, and at the end of it you would think I'm crazy.

And that's true.

My story begins when I was… born of course.

I had a twin brother; he was 5 minutes younger than me.

We were Inseparable.

I was told that I was never going to live a normal life, because I became depressed after my papa (my dad's dad) died when I was 5 years.

Who tells a 5 year old that? Idiots that's who.

Anyways back to the story…

So about ten years later my brother died. 2 days before our 15th birthday.

Not just died but murdered. I watched him get murdered. It was the hardest thing do deal with.

His so called "best friend" killed him, what happen was…

He came over and they got into a fight, the fight was about… well I don't know but it got bad. I finally went up stairs to see what was wrong and when I got up there they had got into a fist fight then his "friend" pulled a knife. He stabbed him 9 times. Then ran out.

I ran to my brother, I couldn't believe it. He was gone. I held him tight and knew he wasn't coming back. I walked out I didn't know what to do I was in shock. There was blood all over me. I thought I was going to throw up, I didn't know when my parents were coming home, and all I could do was close the door, sit out side the room and rock back and forth and cry in silence.

About an hour later my parents came home and my dad when up stairs to see what we were doing, when he saw me, he knew something was wrong with my brother, he ran in the room yell for my mom, she ran upstairs to see what he wanted and then she screamed.

I died. I couldn't be… me anymore. He wasn't coming back. Ever.

From that day on, I didn't talk much. With out him I was nobody. He was my twin we were almost like one person.

A year later, on my 16th birthday, Nick Jonas who I've known forever since I was a baby.

I pretty much lived at his house after my brother passed away.

It's not so lonely there.

He's my boyfriend and I love him so much. He help me though my brothers passing and so much more. Anyways back to the story, he was going to throw me the best birthday ever… but 20 minutes before the party, my parents were on they're way home and… well…..

they never came home that day and I never had my best birthday party ever, and probably never will. I'm a singer and we (meaning the Jonas Brothers and I) were going on tour soon that year I felt as if I had no one to love. I was afraid that if I loved them.

They would leave and never come back. I would lose them like I lost my family.

I needed to know if they were going to leave me they were going to come back.

That made problems, like I needed anymore.

Nick and I grew apart, I never wanted him to leave me 'cuz I never knew if he would come back, but he didn't think that, he thought that I didn't trust him, that I'm to clingy and that he needs space. He left me. Like I need that. I hated him, he promised that he would never leave me, that he would take care of me.

But looking back on it we were only 16. But he didn't stay my friend, he dropped me like rain, soon, not only did me and Nick grow apart so did his brothers and I. Except Joe, he was there for me he protected me like a brother… the one I lost. Soon after the "partings" I quit the tour, stopped singing, I just faded away. And it's not like anybody cared but Joe. By the time I was 17, I'd move to New York with Joe. And then….

Nick called me. I didn't know what for. Maybe I forgot to give something back, although I never gave anything back, so maybe he wanted everything back, so I picked it up, knowing that he's going to break my heart some more.

"Hello, Brittney?" He said. "Yeah?" I whispered. "I'm sorry. What I did was wrong and I want to see you. I miss you so much, I'm so so so sorry." he sounded upset and I wasn't sure if it was real or something else. "You broke my heart, you were never there for me, I needed you, and you left me, how can I forgive you after what you did. How can I see a face that broke promises?" I wasn't going to let him win again. After moving on I was stronger than before I didn't need anybody to lean on, to pick me up if I fell. It didn't matter I was going to see just to show him what he lost. But I was going to put him through hoops and do tricks, before he can see me, I was going to make him chase me down. "Brittney, please, I'm sorry." He begged this wasn't like him there was something wrong but I didn't care I was going to make him hurt like he made me hurt, "Fine" I said, "I'll take the first plane out (click)" He hung up and I felt as if I was too mean and wanted to say sorry but I couldn't. I wanted to cry but I didn't.

I went to go find Joe to tell him but he was at the gym. So I was going to wait.

Later before dinner Joe came home. With Nick. "Why the hell didn't you tell me Nick was coming in?" He said. "I found out like 5 hours ago and u weren't here an-"

"And? You all of a sudden don't have a phone?" He was steaming mad. I felt bad enough I didn't want to feel worse. "Dude, cool down. I didn't tell her when I was coming."

Nick said as if I needed him to help. I didn't need anyone's help or pity. I would be living by myself if I was old enough but I'm not so I only need Joe for now.

Joe looks at him then looks back at me. "I'm sorry"

I look at him really frustrated "Whatever, I'll be in my room. Enjoy dinner."

I slammed my door; I sat in my room surprised that no body came in to talk to me or something. I just laid there for a while. Wondering what Nick wanted to talk about.

The next morning I woke up first, Nick must have slept in Joe's room 'cuz Joe was on the couch. I try to be quiet sneaking out but Joe woke up as I opened the door.

"What are you doing?" saying half asleep, and as if he's been crying. "Nothing just going for a walk is all."

He nodded and went back to sleep. I wonder if he knows it's like 8 in the morning.

He usually is already up and or is getting back from a jog. Maybe Nick and him stayed up late.

Its November so it's freezing I really should get a new jacket that's warmer. I walk for a bit then went home when I got there Nick and Joe were sitting at the table as if they were waiting for me the look sad and nervous. Nick couldn't look at me. "What's going on?"

I said afraid of what they're going to say. The last time I saw them look like this they told me my parents were gone. "Brittney… It's my dad… papa. He's…" he couldn't say it so Nick finished what Joe was trying to say. "He's sick. Really sick." Joe got up and hugged me. I hugged him back trying not to cry. Joe told me he was going to fly out for a bit.

A week later Joe calls me and said he got me a ticket to come out. But it would be in 3 days.

3 day's later I got to the airport and waited… waited… and waited… finally I took a cab to the house. I texted Joe and told him I was on my way there. Nick texted back saying meet me in our secret place. I guess I texted Nick instead of Joe. I don't know why but I feel like I need to, also I thought he was going to tell me what he wanted when he came out.

I finally get there and luckily I only had a backpack and a small suitcase. Nick's not here yet so I hid behind some rocks, finally he came. And he waited, and waited and waited, he sat there for an hour. It had only been a week since I last saw him. He looks like he needs some one right now. So I walked out and he ran and hugged me. He stated crying and I didn't now what to do I just stood there, the old me started to come back but I still didn't know what was wrong. Then I started to hug him back then he pulled away, "Brittney my dad died two hours ago! I don't know how you did it, it hurts so badly. I mean you lost both of your parents." He stops to catch his breath then started again. "I need you! I'm sorry for what I did. If I could take it all back I would! I would Brittney!" he sobbed, he fell to his knees and cried some more, I fell to hug him. "Nick." I paused for a minute to think. "Nick, I didn't do anything." He looked at me confused. "What do you mean? Look at you. Your fine. You look great for what happened to you." He said wiping his eyes.

"I hid my pain. After what happen to us, I stopped being… me. I stopped being me after my brother died." Now I'm tearing up. "I wasn't there for you, (sniff) was I?"

"You were when my brother died." I said trying to hide my tears. "But after your parents, I wasn't?" I looked at him; I didn't want to hurt him even more. "I know I wasn't, Brittney. I tried but it got hard, it just seemed like everything (sniff) I did didn't help. You still cried and laid in bed." He wipes my eyes. "It did. I couldn't pull myself together." My eyes filled with tears again. "No… I thought it wouldn't take that long for (sniff) you to get over it. Because you can't get over something like that. I'm sorry."

Tears filled his eyes again. "Come on lets go home Joe is probably worrying about you."

He said wiping my eyes again. "He doesn't know I took a cab." I said holding him.

"Wait. You mean nobody came and got you?" he said wiping he's own eyes. I looked at him and nod