Thirteen

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the 'That 70's Show' characters.

Summary: 26 years has gone by since we last saw our favorite characters. What are they up to?

Author's Note: This is my first future fiction so, I hope it's good. By the way all the chapters are named after Bowling for Soup lyrics.

Quick Info:

Jaclyn & Steven Hyde, 34, 35

Married: May 16, 1981

Children

Dylan Elizabeth, 16

Zoe Amelia & Tristen Warner, 17

Donna & Eric Foreman, 35

Married: July 20, 1980

Children

Christina Mae, 14

Turner Redginal, 17

Brooke & Michael Kelso, 37, 35

Married: April 4, 1989

Children

Michelle Abby, 13

Benjamin Michael, 17

Betsy Michelle, 26

Fez

Still not getting any…

July 20, 2005

So here goes: Mom gave me this stupid journal hoping that I'd become more girlie like Zoe but I doubt that's ever going to happen. My name is Dylan Elizabeth Hyde. My dad named me a boys name because well, he thought it sounded cool for a girl, mom was so drugged up she didn't even notice. Mom had my middle name all planned out though, it was going to be Elizabeth for Elizabeth Taylor. Go figure. My parents are so called high school sweethearts. Except they aren't anywhere near the dream. They fight all the time, and at least every other week dad's on the couch or hiding in the garage drinking beer. But they don't fight all the time. They do other things… Gross things. They have three kids. Enough said. Oh, and mom's pregnant again. So far I have only two siblings. My sister Zoe, which I mentioned previously, and my brother Tristen. Zoe is as prissy as you can get. All she talks about is clothes and boys and shopping. And she never shuts up! "Dyl, your hairs so flat." "Dyl, you should learn to accessorize." "Dylan, stop being such a boy, you have a vagina." Cue eye roll. Then there's Tristen. My wonderful older brother, best friend and connection. Tristen is really smart, which is weird because Zoe, who is his twin, is slower then a snail stuck in tar.

So today is my birthday and my Uncle Eric and Aunt Donna's anniversary. Aunt Donna got a puppy and I got a journal. Yeah, life's fair. Well, I didn't just get a stupid journal; I did get a car. Most kids would be pulling apart at the seems if their parents got them a car. But the car I got was an old El Camino that dad had when he was my age. That's like a bah-gillion years ago, so it's a piece of crap. Even though dad and me have been working on the 'Death Mobile' for about a month now it still doesn't run good. Oh yeah, I nicknamed it the 'Death Mobile' because I know that that car is going to kill me. Although dad is convinced its like God reincarnated into a car. He can be so weird some times.

So since this is the first entry I guess I should write about who is in my life. That is besides my immediate family. Now Uncle Eric and Aunt Donna aren't really my aunt and uncle. They're just really good friends with my parents. They've none each other since, well forever. My dad actually used to live with Uncle Eric and his parents. Eric and Donna Foreman have two kids, Tina and Turner. Tina is like fourteen and has her own friends; we only hang out with her when we absolutely have to. Turner is not the coolest person in the world and he's not like the guy next door. He's more like the skronie neighbor boy. Now that I think about it he's kind of nerdy. Any way Zoe Tristen Turner and me hang out every day in my basement.

Ah, the basement. Now my house used to be Uncle Eric's parent's house but they gave the deed over to mom and dad because… I have no idea. They just did. Uncle Eric and Aunt Donna live next door where Aunt Donna grew up. Anyway the basements mine. That's where my room is. It's nice, kinda dingy, but nice. I like dark things. I got that room when I was thirteen. It was the day that mom finally cut the umbilical cord and let me out of Zoe's room. I was dying in there. So, yeah, we basically always stay in the basement because there is no adult supervision, a fridge stocked with food and sometimes beer, the smoke alarm is broken and did I mention no adult supervision?

Then there is Brooke and Kelso Sr. who has three kids too. Their first kid, Betsy, is 26 and is never really around all that much. She doesn't really like her dad so she left Point Place along time ago. Last I heard she was engaged to a guy named Guy. I think he's a refrigerator repairman. Michelle is 13 and hangs with Tina, I don't like Michelle. I babysat her once and she put gum in my hair. It was the only time that I ever cared about my hair. It was long and straight and now it's really, really short. In Zoe's words, my hair now matches my name. Whore. Finally in the Kelso tree is Ben, who might I say is a major stud. And he isn't just good looking but he's also really smart. Well, not really smart but enough. I don't think all the pot that we do helps.

Oh yes, I have succumbed to the power of peer pressure and have some puffs every now and then. All right 'now and then' is a little bit of an understatement. Okay it's a lot of an understatement. I have a joint to my self everyday. I'm a very bad girl. Oh well.

Oh I almost forgot. I have another uncle. Well, not really an uncle. Anyway his name is Fez and he's from… I don't know where he's from. I'm gonna have to ask him. Also his name isn't really Fez. Fez stands for Foreign Exchange Student. But instead of an 's' it's a 'z'. 'Z's are bad ass.