Summary: Jon and Dany had been friends since pre-school. He had loved her all his life but it never seemed to be the right timing. But then their paths parted and not a single day passes where he doesn't blame himself for not telling her.
There had been some moments across the way where it had been so obvious between the two of them, where both of them were dangerously close to giving in.
This had been one of them.
Jon was going crazy. Not that he had any right not be ok with Dany dating other people but usually she'd write him still. She always would. Like she could be snowed in in some romantic cabin with her date and she'd still find a way to tell Jon how lame it was.
It wasn't exactly normal when you thought about it (which Jon strictly avoided, he had mastered that for over 15 years now) – every time they were on a date with someone else they'd write each other, tell each other about the shitty food, the lousy small talk and the annoying traits they had just noticed on their counterpart. It was horrible really. If Jon had been her date in any of these situations he'd be heartbroken and demotivated. But usually he wasn't. He was the guy she was writing text messages under the table or sending silly snapchats while her date was using the bathroom or getting food for the both of them. They had made this their weird habit when everyone suddenly fell in love with Dany in high school, or was it middle school even? Jon couldn't remember. Maybe it was because he could not imagine a time where Dany had not been absolutely perfect. But with those pastel pink coloured tips of her hair, those cute dresses and big smiles she used to sport in school, it must have been the moment when everything started to go to hell.
He had been the broody loner in High School. Not like he had been weirdo or something, while others might argue like that, he had just wanted to be left alone and out of that typical high school madness. The leather jacket wearing jocks and make-up covered cheerleaders, that was not his world and he was totally ok with it. He liked to stay in the background with his best friend Sam. They used to sit on a small table in the back of the cafeteria to eat, study and stay as invisible as they could possibly. Until the beautiful Daenerys showed up and directed the attention of everyone towards them. It didn't seem to be such a big deal for her though. When most popular girls were concerned about ruining their reputation over hanging out with Jon and Sam Dany didn't even waste one thought on it. She wasn't one of those air-headed beauty-queens or Queen B's anyway. Daenerys had always been very smart and didn't try to hide that but thus also being very pretty and confident everyone at school respected her while even the jocks thought she was pretty cute. She didn't have to play those silly popularity games for people to like her and Jon admired that because even though she had friends all over the school yard she was still the determined and loving girl that had tried to beat his small wolf toy with her two lilac dragons when they were in pre-school. Ever since that day they had been inseparateable.
But in this very moment he felt like the clueless guy who was so blindly in love with her, that he didn't even realize she wasn't interested. For the first time in forever he felt like there was another guy in her life who was more important to her and it was bugging him more than he'd like to admit.
Wait what? Jon wasn't in love with her. She was his best friend for god's sake and he would never think about her that way. Things between them were totally platonic. Alright, they might have made it a habit of falling asleep next to each other while playing stupid video games or accidentally cuddling when she was freezing and he was thankful for the warmth as well (although he'd never admit it because he had his northern man image to lose). And sure, they might have kissed a couple of times when they were super drunk and that one it almost went further. But hey, it's just fun. They're fun, everything between them is fun.
But this was no fun. Jon thought to himself as he dropped down on the couch, his head back on the upper rest, staring at the ceiling. When did he become so fucking pathetic? They had been friends for over 4 years now and he had never felt like that, never been so goddamn jealous of one of her boyfriends. He knew that they never lasted long, that's why he usually didn't bother. Drogo, the big, scary one had been the only guy to last longer than 6 months and that had already been torture - only because Sam had been busy studying that time and he really needed someone to hang with of course. It's not like Jon hadn't been seriously romantically involved before. He had been dating Ygritte for about a year only parting from her when she decided to leave to study abroad. Then there was Val, ridiculously hot Val. They had been dating in secret because she was more or less already seeing someone else. It was exciting and dangerous somehow but when she fully committed to him both of them realized that the entire attraction between them was based simply on the secrecy and adrenaline. They didn't really connect. So, that should prove that he wasn't somehow secretly hung up on Daenerys. That was complete bullshit.
"Where's Dany?" Robb asked when he entered his brothers room. Well technically they weren't brothers. Robbs father Ned had taken him into custody after his sister and her husband, Jons parents, were killed in a car accident but since Jon had barely been a year when this tragedy happened Ned and his wife Catelyn had decided to wait until he was sixteen to finally tell him. So in his eyes Robb, Arya and Sansa were his siblings and their relationship hadn't changed a bit.
"How would I know?" Jon responds and it sounded a lot sourer than it should have. Then again, his brother was used to him being broody especially since moving in with him at the beginning of college.
"I just figured." Robb said with a shrug before sitting down beside Jon. "Didn't know she actually had her own place to begin with." The older brother chuckled.
"Well she does. She has her own life as well. Don't know what's so wrong with that." Jon spat in a semi offended tone.
Robb knew him better than most other people did. He knew that when Jon wasn't willing to talk about something, he wouldn't, no matter how much you'd press him to. So he just got up without another word and fetched a bottles of beer for each of them. He hated it when Robb saw right through him yet he was glad that his sister Arya wasn't here, she would straight out laugh at him. She still knew him best.
"If you don't try it I will." Robb said with a wink. That wasn't the first time he had been flirty around Daenerys to drive Jon insane.
"She's on a date." Jon announced a couple minutes later, still staring blankly at the tv screen. There was some sports game on but he didn't even know what kind.
"Sucks, bro. I'm sorry." Jon didn't have to tell him. Robb knew, he was his brother after all. "It's her loss.". Of course Robb could say something like that so easily. He was a good-looking, intelligent, charming and athletic guy who studied economics. Girls were basically at his feet 24/7 but he never settled down.
"It's mine actually." Jon said quietly, taking another sip of his beer. "She's perfect, Robb. She's everything. I can't even begin to tell you how great she is." He told him quietly. "But I'll never be more than her best friend. I should be ok with that. It means that if I don't fuck up big time I'll at least be a part of her life."
"I think you're underestimating yourself here. You're good-looking, not as handsome as me but still-" Robb earned a punch for that. It was totally worth it. "Ouch. I'm trying to cheer you up, mate."
"You have a good heart, you see the good in people even though you've been through some rough stuff. You're pretty diplomatic, always searching for the outcome that will satisfy the most people. You're also intelligent, I give you that, and a very good friend. You're one of the good guys, Jon. Don't let anyone treat you like you're not." His brother tried to cheer him up, but he meant every word of praise he said.
"Wow that was gross!" Arya yelled from the hallway. Robb instantly got up to run after her. "Let me show you gross, you little rat!" He announced before chasing along the hall. Jon couldn't help but smile. It was nice having them around even if it was just for a surprise visit in Aryas case.
Jon followed them into the kitchen and got himself some chips and a glass of water before returning to the living room.
"Hey"
"Hey I thought you went to bed alr-" Oh. That was not Robb. That was not Arya. „Dany? I- shouldn't you be on a date right now?" Jon asked in confusion, almost dropping the bag of snacks.
"The date sucked, he tried to kiss me and I might actually have broken his nose." Daenerys shrugged, sitting down on his couch and grabbing the chips from him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like she belonged right there.
"You're a danger to the public. Who even let you out?" Jon laughed and sat down beside her. God he had missed this.
"Shut up!" She yelled and started throwing chips at him.
"He was a douche. I had to laugh about his stupid jokes and believe me it was torture because they were really damn stupid."
„You could've texted, you know. So you wouldn't have to take that torture all by yourself. "Jon suggested with a small smile. As much as he had been angry of her for not texting him having her here with him again made all of his troubled vanish.
"My phone was dead and I couldn't even play candy crush while pretending to listen. Imagine the tragedy." Daenerys explained the disaster with fake fatality in her voice.
Jon instantly had to grin now. He could imagine every single detail of it. How she would tap her fingers on the table in order to keep herself busy and that fake smile she had perfected over the years. Seriously it was hard to tell that secretly she was super bored. Well for everyone but him.
"So now you're back to bothering me instead?" He pretended to be annoyed but it was so hard for him to hide his grin.
"Oh come on, you love having me around. I'm fun!" Dany exclaimed in a funny voice.
Fun. there it was again. The word that started to bother him.
"What is it you broody man?"
"Nothing."
"Why you can tell me, you know that."
Actually that is the one thing I can't tell you. He thought to himself. "It's nothing I swear now stop bugging me." He said with a laugh that was not as real as it looked and picked up his Xbox controller.
"Fine, I'll foul you at fifa until you tell me." Dany threatened.
"That's not fair."
"Stop whining, Jon. You're the one keeping secrets not me." Well, that indirectly answered his question.
"Next time I won't even bother with this stuff. I'll just take you out on a date. We'd have so much more fun."
"Right. But we'd go get pizza instead because otherwise you'd never stop complaining about the other food. You're so picky"
"Am not!" Dany complained but soon there was this big smile on her lips again "So it's a deal?" She asked enthusiastically.
"You serious?" Jon asked baffled. Was she really suggesting what he thinks she is?
"Yeah why not? At least this way I know it's gonna be an amazing night. They could never compare to you anyway." When Dany said those words it sounded like it was the most obvious thing in the world, she didn't even bother to look at him between pressing buttons on the controller and stuffing chips in her mouth.
Now he was just staring at her "What?" Maybe he misheard something or his mind was finally making fun of him.
„Why are you doing it then? The dating and all?" He asked quietly trying his hardest to sell it as a funny line but it was not too hard to see through his charade.
"Are you not listening to me? I just asked you out, you silly goose. Or would you like me to leave that as well?" Dany said with an amused smile.
"I thought we were joking around."
"Ouch." Dany said playfully.
"You'd really go on a date with me? Like on a date date?"
"Why not? I love you and we're spending 24/7 together anyway. Why not do the cheesy stuff for once?" Dany said with a small smile, turning her attention back to the screen again.
"You're crazy." He announced with a heartfelt laugh. She had just told him that she loved him. Ok maybe not that she was in love with him, but it's a step and more than he ever imagined. He wrapped his arm around her and she thankfully followed the invitation by cuddling into his side. Right there, her small hands on his chest, his arms around her, her head on his shoulder it was perfect.
Dany had been running around all day like she had bees in her buttocks. She had no idea what to wear, how to do her make-up, if she should make-up at all, if she show up late or early. She was going nuts. So much so that she had called Missandei various times begging her to come and calm her down somehow.
"You are a total mess, Daenerys." The curly haired women stated when she entered Danys small apartment. The floor was covered by cloths and pretty much everything that had usually been neatly placed into her friends drawers.
"Thanks for the reminder. I won't have noticed." The smaller women replied in an annoyed tone but it was not her friend that annoyed her but her own stupidity. How was she freaking out over this? It was just her and her best friend going out for a pizza. The man she had known for all her life. Why the hell was she so nervous?
"I thought you might need that." Missandei explained while handing Dany a bottle of wine.
"Oh god I remember why I like you so much!"
"So what is the plan?" The other women asked carefully, knowing that the Jonerys thing was a very touchy subject. And yes "the jonerys thing" was a thing. Ever since Robb suggested that couple name for the two stubborn lovers it had stuck. Only behind their backs of course but it had spread very quickly.
"Plan?" Dany turned her friend with a shocked look on her face. She had just made her way through her room by successfully stepping from one free spot to the other so she could pick up her favourite red top and classic black vans, the comment throwing her totally off guard.
"Oh you know, what do you think could happen?" Missandei explained while searching for two wine glassed in the messy room. She knew Danys fine boundaries very well and never really pushed on them but even she was getting restless. After all Jon and Dany had been longing for each other since she can remember.
"Well we are going to eat some pizza and it will be amazing because we are friends and everything is cool."
"Yeah right."
"Missandei!"
"That's the reason you are acting like a little girl right now? Because you are friends and everything is cool?" Missandei was not having any of Danys bullshit. She knew her better than that.
"We talking Jon fucking Snow?" Danys roommate Asha suddenly busted in, dropping down on the silver haired womans bed right on top of all the chaos. "I heard he is much desired for his skills down there." She said in a suggestive voice. "Hell if I was into men I would totally tap that."
The puzzled look on Danys face spoke volumes. She had never heard of any gossip on Jon Snow, her honest and polite Jon who was too uptight to even talk about something like that. She could remember watching trashy movies with him and he would look away every time there was a naked body on screen. Was it a. really possible that there was something about Jon she didn't know about and b. who was spreading such stories about him? Dany couldn't help but feel jealous over the mere thought of some other women getting to enjoy Jon in that way. But why? Of course he was free to do whatever dirty stuff with whomever he wanted, hell she had been doing plenty dirty stuff with other guys, but she never imagined hearing about it.
Suddenly Daenerys was feeling differently. The childish excitement had made way for the bitter realization that everything she had said to keep her hopes down was true. Jon wasn't into her, for a fact he was pretty damn happy without being with her in a romantic way. What the hell had she been thinking?
"Salami or the spicy stuff?" Jon asked, visibly shaking her from thoughts.
"Hm?" Dany asked with a dazzled look on her face, earning a sympathetic smile from her childhood friend. She had been nothing but distant ever since he picked her up for their pizza date. But she couldn't get the image of him pleasuring another woman out of her head. What has she been thinking he was doing all the time? Like did she imagine his past relationships being a mix of handholding and forehead kisses or what? Dany was feeling so stupid right now.
"Do you rather wanna go home and order something?" The dark-haired man asked with a concerned look on his face. Dany instantly regretted her behaviour towards him. He was such a sweet man and she had been ruining their not-a-date-date because she was jealous of some woman she didn't know, on basis of a rumour she just stumbled upon.
"We could just take home a couple of different flavours we never tried before, decide to order thai instead and fall asleep on the living room floor, how does that sound?" He suggested now, trying to make her look at him again. When he succeeded the look on his face was almost triumphant. She loved that look with a burning passion.
A/N: Originally this was some kind of "We're best friends but I really don't like it when you're dating other guys cause everything sucks when you're not around"-AU but I'm definitely going to take it further. I'm such a big sucker for angst I just had to make it as conflicted and heartbreaking as possible and the Adele song was begging to be used, you'll see.
But for now please tell me what you think! I will ask you guys for suggestions when it comes to other ships and characters over time but you are always welcome to tell me your ideas for the fic in the comments or on my tumblr (same name).
I also want to thank the following amazing tumblr people for helping me with jobs and pairings: zeetao-hime, thatmartinskishit, ranpyon Ithinkimighthaveinhaledyou, tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness, spaceprincebensolo, truefan20, xnotadamselindistress, sunmaemae, idontcarewhatmyusernameis9, tyrionsbride, albion19, reketrebn, lordmanucas, anons 3 YOU ARE THE BEST!