Puck's game
8:09 Day one-
Okay, so I have a little obsession. Well, not really an obsession; it's more of a game.
I like to make people blush.
It all started with Quinn, but then I knocked her up so she no longer blushes. I can't get Santana or Brittney to blush. Rachel was my target for a while, but, now, every time I say anything she rolls her eyes at me. Real mature. I don't really talk to Mercedes, Tina or Sugar. I had thought my game of making people blush was over. I even tried Satan, I mean Santana (got to love Kurt's nickname), for a while.
Not.
A.
Good.
Idea.
And that has to mean it was a terrible idea because all my ideas are bad. If I can admit it, then it was just fucking bad…
None of the guys would blush, plus, I don't want to be hitting on guys who don't even like guys. That's when it me harder than bricks; what if they like guys! You know? If they were gay. Lucky me, we got two of those.
I started out with Kurt because, come on. If he wasn't the biggest blushing virgin I've ever seen, I'd be damned. It didn't go over very well. It didn't go over well at all.
"Screw off, Puck."
"Why are you even talking to me?"
"You look like you crawled out of a dirty shack."
"I have a boyfriend, obviously."
"You're straight, Puck."
"You a have squirrel on your head."
O-kay, he didn't even blush after four whole days of trying I gave up. I threw my towel in on attempting to get Kurt to Blush; clearly he was not the blushing virgin I had thought. Or clearly I'm just really, really bad at my own game. Well, that had left me with one last person. My new and upcoming bro, Blaine Anderson. He was always in the school gym when all my boys were, so it would be easy to talk to him.
"Nice ass, Anderson."
"Are you medusa? Because you make me rock hard."
"Some on call a weatherman! Anderson's going to see a few inches tonight."
"Kurt thinks you're like fire… he finds you hot, and is going to leave you wet."
"Why you walking so funny?"
Every time I made a comment a red color would spill all over his cheeks. Check mate. I had found my new target to play my game. Little did I know that other people would be joining our game, soon.
"Okay, dude, what's up with you and talking to Blaine?" Sam had mumbled to me while we were pumping iron. The metal was cool and heavy in my hand, as I felt the strain in my arm every time I curled the bell. The usually crew was here Sam, Finn, Artie, Mike and even Rory except Anderson wasn't around. The school gym felt kind of empty without him. We all usually get together every Tuesday and Thursday. "Puck?"
My thought scattered like mice, and I answered, "What?"
"You always say really, like, dirty things to Blaine. I was just curious as to why."
That is when I got recruits to play my game. We even have a little competition going on between Sam, Mike, Artie and me. Finn didn't do it because he's a pansy, and doesn't want to say things like that to my brother's boyfriend. Pffft… whatever. He gets to miss out on the epic prize for the winner which is going to be me! Totally. Rory just is very, very bad at dirty lines it's actually quite comical.
Anyway,
The winner gets a free medium pizza from everyone playing.
And,
I'm getting the fucking prize.
I mean, I have to. I have the most experience in this game by far. The rules: every time you get Blaine to blush you get a point. The game will go on until Blaine stops blushing at things (So basically for a long time). Whoever has the most point's wins. Also, someone has to be there to witness the blushing of the Blaine; otherwise it doesn't count.
So that my friends is how "Blushing Blaine the Game" started. We got a leaderboard scribbled on a whiteboard deep inside my locker. Today is day one, and I'm keeping track of everyone's points. Even though it totally doesn't matter because I'm totally going to crush everyone. Not just crush, smash their asses until it's just butt dust left.
3:43 Day three-
We are in the middle of glee club, and Sam motherfucking Evens is surprisingly good at this game. I think it's because him and Blaine are, like, besties. Here's the leaderboards:
Sam- 3
Puck- 3
Mike- 1
Artie- 0
Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever tie with anyone. Blaine is sitting right beside Berry in the front row with face swimming in interest, as he watched her blab on and on about some stupid topic.
"I have never been riding before, but I loved it! I always found myself on the same spiritual level as horses, you know? Free." Rachel squawked on like a parrot.
Blaine replied, "Oh yeah, I love riding." Oh, you're making this too easy Anderson. Make it a challenge.
"Love riding Kurt!" I hollered from behind him. Because of the red that bubbled to the surface of his neck, I knew he was blushing.
Puck- 4
I'm winning just like it should be.
8:19 Day 7-
Here's the leaderboard:
Sam- 8
Puck- 8
Mike- 3
Artie- 6
I can't believe this! Me, and Sam are tied, still. This is stupid. And! Arties making a comeback. I can't lose my own freakin' game. This is just a slow point or something.
Walking down the crowded hallway, well, pumping my way through the crowded hallway, I see it; Sam is leaning against a locker neighbour to Blaine's, and his lips are curled up into a playful smirk. Oh hell no, he's trying to pull a lead against me. His eyes bore right into mine, and it looks like the ocean swirling in there is teasing me. Taunting me about losing my own game.
Blaine seems to be talking about some musical school Kurt's going to. Nadia or something, but that doesn't matter. What matters was the low toned comment spilling out of Sam's mouth, "Kurt's a real lucky guy, you know?"
Crunching his eyebrows together, and dropping his jaw, Blaine replied, "What do you mean? I mean, I didn't think that knowing about his education is really that important."
"No-no I mean with an ass like that, anyone should be lucky to be your boyfriend." To prove his point, he smacked his open palm against Blaine's ass. Once the contact was made, Blaine's entire skin was melted into a rose color. The sound of the slap rang in my ear, shit, I'm losing. Sam, stalking towards me, hollered back at Blaine, "Anyways bye, dude."
I stood in the center of the room not moving the tiniest muscle, frozen. Walking past me, Sam mumbled, "I'm winning." I really don't need that fucking reminder, but thanks anyways Sam. Sarcastic comment was sarcastic if you hadn't caught my drift.
3:36 day ten-
Okay, here's today's scoop. Sam and I are tied, again. Which is complete and utterly stupid, I mean, I should be crushing him so hard he's flat. Artie and Mike are also tied, but pretty much out of the race. Here's the standing (Not that it matters because I'm totally going to win):
Sam- 17
Puck- 17
Mike- 7
Artie- 7
You're probably thinking 'wow, how'd the standings get so high?' Well, there was a boy's party yesterday at the Hummel's, and Kurt wasn't there. Sam and I had pretty much gone to town. Today, though, I have plan to pull ahead. We have glee club today, and Sam's at home sick; here's my chance basically. I just need to myself. You know? Bad ass, gross, inappropriate, un-censored, awesome, boss…
Stumbling my way into the choir room for glee club I see the target sitting by empty seats, lonesome. Anderson. He's going to be so red people are going to think he spent a week in the sun without any sunscreen. I sat on the chair to his left.
"Hey Puck," he smiled at me oh so innocently.
I replied, "Hey, do anything interesting last night?"
"Oh, ugh, homework? I don't think you can call that interesting." Blaine said while shrugging his shoulders up, and letting them slump back.
I smirk hard. So hard it almost hurt. "Funny, I thought you were going to say Kurt, or is homework a code word for him?" a red spilt all over the terrain of his face. A scoff bounced his chest, and people started pouring into the room.
"If homework was a code name for Kurt, I would find it interesting by the way." Blaine whispered after leaning towards me. The chairs were no longer empty, but full with chatting people looking like squirrels on caffeine.
I whispered back, "You wouldn't find it interesting… you'd find it sexy."
Puck- 19
Take that you stupid big lipped goon that's super nice. Ha! I'm winning.
After glee practice, Kurt snatched my shoulder in a grip tight like a vice. I stood up, and he mirrored my actions, and grumbled, "What the hell are you doing?" I have no idea what he's talking about, but People tend to have a problem with me. Though most of the time I didn't do anything wrong. Well, other than knocking up Quinn, but that was one time. Come on, people make mistakes.
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
Kurt hollowed out his cheeks, and his eyes melted into a glare. "What the hell are you doing with my boyfriend?" he snarled. I guess that's the end of the game.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" I exclaimed. I put my hands up as if I was surrendering, but his bitch face tightened.
"You and Sam keep trying to make him blush, and saying some really, really weird things for straight people!"
My whisper barely tickled his ears, as I murmured, "And Mike and Artie."
"What was that?"
"And Mike and Artie," I murmured louder.
"What?" His anger features melted into one's of confusion. Kurt's eyebrows crunched while he jerked his head back.
"Ugh, we were trying to get him to blush." Yeah, this is the end of our game. Definitely. No one messes with Hummel's boyfriend.
After a minute he said softly really drawing out the word, "Why?"
"Okay, so, we have a game going. Whoever makes him blush the most gets free pizza's from the others." He just bobbed his head, and his eyebrow flew away from each other.
"Okay, I want in."
"What?" Guess that wasn't the end of the game.
"I want to play."
"Yeah, okay Hummel, but we're not re-starting the points."
"It's okay. I don't need you to. Also, I want cheesecake instead of pizza, for when I win." He stalked out of the room leaving me behind scoffing. Yeah, sure, Hummel 'When I win'. I'm winning. Totally.
4:57 Day 27-
I am highly sad to say this is the leaderboard:
Sam- 26
Puck- 27
Artie- 12
Mike- 9
Kurt- 67
Why couldn't Kurt give us just a little pity? I mean, come on, that is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. I actually thought I was going to win. Clearly my dreams were crushed.
On my defence I didn't think that Kurt kissing Blaine was like clockwork. Every. Damn. Time. Kurt would give a little sheepish look, almost shy, and Blaine would flash his pearls in the brightest smile, the sun would be jealous. Kurt would lean over, and bump his lips into Blaine. After a few seconds of gentle kissing, they would just melt into each other. With a wet smack, they would pull away from each other, and Blaine would change into a cherry avoiding eye contact with Kurt. It was fucking clockwork. What can I say, though? Good game Hummel.
After leaving the bakery, the cold wind whips me in the face; all the warm smells of fresh pastries and cinnamon left my nose. Today, I accept my defeat holding a cheesecake walking to give Hummel his victory. There will be a re-match, and I promise that I will. One day. I will win.