To be honest, right now I feel pretty bad ass, Kyle one side, Stan on the other on the way to some chicks party. (full of chicks, wink wink) Man we're like the 3 musketeers or some shit like that but less queer...no but bandits here and not just stuck to having one girl. For example, I woke up today, couldn't even remember the cute blonde girls name I found in my bed. The name Kenny is just legendary dude.

"Are you re-thinking your ways Mr. one night stand?" Stan speaking made me jump out of thought but then I saw Kyle laughing with him and jokingly punched their arms with each of my hand.

"Stop being so touchy about 'my ways' I am just awesome." Kyle had raised one eyebrow at how I'd said 'my ways' "I didn't think you would pull me up on this though Stan, did Kyle's Jewism rub off on you last night?" I said jokingly to Kyle while winking and sniggering to myself.

Kyle looked at Stan with an odd confusion then said "And how would that have occurred Kenny?"

Stan nudged him like saying 'don't provoke it' Cause obviously now I could enjoy making fun of their life long bromance they shared. "Dude shut up, Kenny-Mcbutthole here is just doing a Cartman."

"But of course Cartman can't get as many girls as me, cause like I said I am awesome." From me Kyle and Stan still walking in a line down the street we came across other people, for example a group of girls, of which I winked at 3 ...well... there were only 3 so, all of them I guess.

As I sniggered to myself I got a call from an unknown number but didn't answer. It was probably just the girl from last night. Stan picked me up on this and asked "Who was that dude?"

I replied slyly "Doesn't matter dude, we have tonight to worry about now."

Booze, Booty, Bitches, Big Beetroot, Blackout.

Tonight's to-do list:

Drink booze, check

Make out with as many girls as I can, check (and still in progress)

Check out the local scenery (booty), check

The party was fine and filled with the fine then non other than Eric Fartman shows up. "Greaaaat" I muttered to myself mid-make-out with 2 smokers (check me out).

Stan and Kyle rushed over shortly after his unwanted entrance "DUDE WTF, why is he here…how did he- what is he- DUDE!" Stan stuttered.

"What dude of dyslexia is trying to say here is, what the actual hell is that fat ass doing at a party, but not just any party, a party hosted by some of South Parks hottest girls" Kyle explain with his forehead clenched in one hand.

"Yo Jew-ginge, Poor piece of crap and Faggatron" Cartman said nodding at each of us looking pleasantly surprised with our attendance.

"Why are you here Lard-Tard?" Kyle asked him while me and Stan sniggered at the genius insult.

Cartman looked vaguely offended with this. "Well, Ginger-Pubicus, that hotties' mother is my moms best friend." He gestured to a tallish tanned girl that couldn't possibly be South Park born. "I see you Kennith, check out her ass all you like but I doubt you will ever have the courage to take her for a ride around the poor estate." He said sniggering making his face jiggle, which I could see Kyle laugh about.

"But fat ass you're to fat to even let her in the same car as you?" Stan said, obviously proud of this. Me and Kyle giggled as the fat boy turned red like a beetroot with anger.

"Well fuck you guys I'm was gonna leave now anyway" The beetroot bandit stormed off towards the hot blonde, looked as though he was producing bullshit to impress her, then left out the door.

After his departure I carried on with my to-do list until I blacked out on Stans shoulder.

Morning…glory…

So yeah Id managed to get to Stans, undress and pee everywhere all after I had thought I blacked out…Hmm...Right..

"Oh jesus Stan stop sleeping in just boxers I don't want to see your balls in the morning" Kyle said covering his face at the sight of his best buddies balls. I guess that's his fault for sleeping top and tail with him.

"Hey screw you dude and Kenny don't laugh at me, you've had worse happen" The last part of that escaped Stans lips through giggles.

"Oh fuck you, don't remind me" I sighed knowing Kyle would ask-

"Did I miss something?" Kyle asked Stan cautiously and curiously, but with Stan still giggling it took him a few moments to recover to explain.

"Right, can you remember Butters 16th? Where you had gone home and Kenny stayed at mine?" Stan asked with small giggles erupting.

"Yeah…what about it? What happened guys?" Almost bursting with anticipation, Kyle fidgeted.

"Weeellll, me and Kenny slept top and tail, like we are now, and the obvious problem would be being woken up by the other guys dick trying to get into your leg…now with Kenny this was interesting-" I cut Stan off there.

"Well I thought it would be funny to sleep naked, cause I was still drunk when I had the idea. I woke up the next day laying on Stans legs …so Id gone between his legs" I said cautiously.

"Wait wait wait, that sounds so queer man, do you mean just like between his knees?" Kyle looked unsure about saying this but I reassured him when I nodded.

"You haven't even heard the funny bit though, he had rolled over, with his dick in the air, balls floppin' and my mum came in and screamed" Stan was bursting with fits of laughter now so I leapt at him and pushed him on the floor and spent about 5 minutes punching him jokingly.

"Tell of this and his balls will go in your mouth, you got that" I looked at Kyle trying to make it seem like a good threat but he just laughed and threw my jeans in my face to shut me up.