Before y'all read this, it is kind of out there and if you get offended easily or are very sensitive about the subjects in this mess, lo siento, but this written purely out of amusement and I'm sorry if it struck a nerve with you. Sooo read if ya wanna but you've been warned. One more thing, duhhh I don't own any of the characters. If I did, I wouldn't have typed that last sentence. =P

"Edward, there's something I have to tell you..." Bella started, rubbing her arms nervously as she circled the clearing Edward had taken her to what seemed like just yesterday.

"What is it, love?" Edward said in an adoringly voice, reaching out to hold her.

"Well..." Bella trailed off, she didn't know how to tell Edward her big news.

"Oh, it's times like these that I wish I could read your mind." Edward chuckled, sitting down and bringing Bella down with him.

"Well, uh, you see," Bella started to play with the loose strings hanging from her jacket. "You do remember our wedding night, don't you?"

"Of course I do. It's my second favorite memory. You do know what my favorite memory is, don't you?" He tried starting a conversation to make whatever Bella had to tell him easier for her to get out. However, Bella just looked away from his perfectly sculpted face.

Grabbing her chin and turning her head back towards him, Edward whispered, "When you finally let hit it." He finished by softly kissing her lips.

"What?!" Bella asked, totally shocked by Edward's out of character comment. He was normally much more mild mannered.

"I'm sorry, did you want me to lie to you and tell you it was when you were finally coerced into letting me take you to prom? Or how about when I first brought you to this meadow?" Edward rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe she thought he'd try to romance her. She was already his, why should he continue to pour out all those mush-gusy lovey dovey lines?

"Heh, wow, that makes it so much more awkward for me to say this, but," swallowing, she spit it out, "I have AIDS."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Edward said knocking her off his lamp and throwing his hands up. "Is that why you were abnormally pale as a human and always coughing and fainting?!"

"Yeah," she said miffed by the fact that he had knocked her off his lap.

"OKAY, okay. I can deal with that. True love will conquer all." As he said this, he gathered her up in his arms.

"Alice, what did you see?" Jasper asked once she regained her consciencess.

"Bella's finally telling Edward her big secret."

"Big secret - what "big" secret?" Jasper once again questioned his wife as they sped down the pavement, headed to their local shopping center.

"Mm, no no Jasper. She'll tell you soon enough." Alice grinned cheekily before pressing her foot even harder against the accelerator.

"Alright, so you have AIDs." Edward said, nodding his head.

"Yes," Bella nodded.

"You're not just HIV-positive, but you have AIDs."

"Yes," she nodded and rolled her eyes at his outlandish behaviour.

"So does that mean I have AIDs too? Because I did manage to impregnate you..."

"I don't know, maybe." Bella shrugged, now nochalant.

"Psh, why am I freaking out? You know what, come here Bella," Edward coaxed her forward, back in to his arms. They had been standing opposite of each other in the middle of the clearing. "I love you," he kissed her forehead. "Nothing's going to chanege that. Besides, we're vampires! If we can overcome the Volturi, befriending werewolves and having a baby, we can over come anything!"

welp, that's the end of that. you can thank my friend ellen (nelle4850) for this. review if ya wanna. i'll try to update, but no promises! :)

oh! another thing, i edited nothing in this.