HATE CAN LOVE
It was barely dark in the room, and Tesla's white clothes seemed to give sparks. Often, when night came he wrote all his feelings in his diary. It was what he intended to do, but when he drew it out of the shelf, an old photo album fell off.
On the cover, in big black letters:
Nnoitra Jiruga, Quinto Espada.
It was one of his boss' things. He shouldn't open it… but curiosity always wins. Anyhow, a little look couldn't mean death… could it?
He opened it carefully.
Every time he turned over a page he thought: now, I'm really going to shut this thing and I won't touch it anymore… but as his only blue eye took a quick look at the next page, he just couldn't resist…
That album was a precious finding. In fact, it contained a whole bunch of pics of Nnoitra, from when he was a toddler to a few months ago… the first pages were old and full of cute photos, Tesla giggled like a girl while seeing his fearsome master smile at Gin and sleep in Aizen's arms. He seemed so cuddly and defenceless…
The more Tesla went on and on, he more Nnoitra changed. His eyes… full of wickedness. The blondie sighed and finally closed the album.
-"Having fun, are we?" The voice of the Fifth Espada was ice-cold.
Tesla gasped and turned his gaze on the black haired Espada.
-"S-sir! I—I didn't mean to… I was just… please forgive me."
Nnoitra approached his Fracciòn, slowly, relentless… his permanent grin frozen on his lips, baring his teeth like a tiger with a prey. Tesla made himself small, closing his eyes, waiting for a rough hand to drag him against the wall so he could beat him up better.
-"Up."
-"Please, sir…"
-"Up I said!"
Trembling, Tesla stood up. He didn't dare to look in other one's eyes. He felt like a complete heel and he was breaking out in a cold sweat… fear. But a thought too, imprinted in his mind: Serves me right.
How much he hated himself for thinking this. He heard Nnoitra cackling and suddenly he was swept off his feet, feeling the thin but extremely strong arms of the Espada around his waist.
He never did that.
-"You fool!- he laughed again, less maniacally- You're a pompous little betch, you know? You're so easy to scare…"
-"So you mean… you won't punish me?" Tesla didn't even try to free himself. Not to mention he was 100% sure he was dreaming: only in his dreams Nnoitra-sama took him in his arms and smiled like that…
-"You kidding? For those fuckin' photos? They don't mean anything to me. You can watch them if you want. I don't give a shit about them."
-"Thank you sir!" Tesla gave out a little happy squeak and threw his arms around Nnoitra's neck. It was just… natural.
After a few seconds, he realised what he did. He touched Nnoitra-sama. He hugged Nnoitra-sama. And his superior was also known as The One You Can't Touch (well, you could, but you won't be alive long enough to tell about it).
Tesla's cute eyes widened in a 'Aw, shit' expression.
Why did he always have to mess up? Why?
-"I'm so sorry sir! It won't happen again, really! My excuses…" he blushed violently and lowered his eyes, feeling like a total idiot.
Nnoitra's mouth stretched in a vicious grin.
-"This time really prepare yourself for a sever spanking, kid. You've been a very bad child… and children who misbehave get a lot of knocks in the head. You should know it." His voice was sweet. Yes, sweet like… the meows of a cat heard by a tiny mouse.
Tesla shed a tear, deeply ashamed.
The Espada carried him in the bedroom and turned on a little lamp that made soft light.
More romantic, he thought, throwing his subordinate on the bed.
He stood practically on him, towering the poor kid (scared to death!).
-"Come here, you." He grabbed the Fracciòn by a shoulder and dragged him near.
His long, bony fingers lightly stroked Tesla's cheek.
-"Wha-"
-"Shh, don't talk.- now Nnoitra's finger was placed on the blondie's soft, tempting lips- Don't say anything. Just feel."
He hugged the Fracciòn, his face literally sinking in Tesla's blond curls.
He smelled good. He always smelled like almonds or honey. He kissed that sexy neck, feeling the other moaning under his touch.
Oh, fuck. I'm cuddling a guy, I can't believe it. I'm not a fuckin' queer! But Tesla… I think he's worth an exception. Fuck it all.
The Fracciòn was nearly fainting with pleasure. When Nnoitra looked at him straight in the eye, he saw a pretty little face, red like a cherry with shame, and his hair all messed up.
The Espada laughed softly, it was a normal laugh.
-"Tesla, I need an answer from ya."
-"Ask me and I'll answer."
-"Do you hate me?"
-"Hate you? How can you think I- I mean, I don't hate you."
Nnoitra lowered his head and seemed to weight the answer up. Silence. Tesla started to feel uncomfortable in both senses: he had never seen his master so damn sad, and Nnoitra's elbow was pressing on his chest, so hard he could barely breath. This didn't keep him from thinking that it was the most beautiful moment in his whole life. Having his Nnoi-Nnoi so close to him… something he had just dreamed about. Their lips were just two inches far, and the only thought of a possible kiss made Tesla blush like a girl.
-"I even ripped out your eye! How can you not hate me?" The Espada finally spit out, frustrated.
-"Please sir, don't get mad at me. It's true… you could have killed me, and I wouldn't have stopped following you around."
-"The truth is, my dear kiddo, that I used to hate you.- Tesla's heart cracked- In the past few months… I won't hide it anymore, you make me feel all… oh, Jesus Christ, you make me feels fuzzy in the inside. I don't know why, but every time I look at you… what the fuck are you lookin' at like that?"
Tesla's jaw had dropped and his eye was completely open, in an extremely surprised expression, nearly unnatural.
-"I can't believe it… Nnoitra-sama, are you trying to tell me…"
-"I fuckin' love you, for the love o' God!- he shouted- No matter how sick and demented it can be, but I hurt you because it is the only way to… stay close to you that doesn't make me feel like a queer.- now he was calm and on the verge of crying, his voice trembling- Don't think that I didn't have fun ripping that fuckin' eye of you out." He added, and Tesla couldn't help but smile.
-"Sir…- he said, stroking the Espada's black hair- I would like you to read my diary one of these days."
-"Why?"
-"Well- his stomach jumped- I think a day and a night and a whole lifetime wouldn't be enough to tell you how m-much I love you and…" Nnoitra shut him up with a kiss.
It was rough, hungry… and incredibly sweet. Both of them felt like they were flying, non of them ever experienced a kiss.
When Nnoitra broke the kiss off, Tesla rested his head in the other one's chest.
-"Hold me." He murmured.
An order that the Fifth Espada happily carried out.
When they finally had each other that night, everything they could say was 'I love you' along with dirty little things that only lovers say.
Both Tesla and Nnoitra blushed under each other's touch.
Tesla woke up. After a few seconds he realised he fell asleep on Nnoitra's chest.
He could hear his heartbeat.
He smiled and kissed the Espada's cheek.
Nnoitra opened his eyes and saw the sparkly one of his subordinate.
I hated this guy. I was hate incarnate. He's been a devil's angel… he loved me so much that now I return his affection.
Hate can love.