This is a collaboration with Arlewena, and involves many more fandoms than the ones listed. Also, Fem! France, Spain, and South Italy.
This occurred when together, we watched RWBY and noticed how much Jaune acts like Prussia. Suddenly he was a BTT child, and then he needed 7 sisters at least, so we gave him... a lot of siblings, because we realized that as soon as Spain discovered she could bear children it would be all over. Mama Spain gets what she wants, and she wanted a house full of children. So after some careful consideration (everyone folding like wet paper while Romana tried in vain to stop it), she got a house full of children.
And now we have this.
Despite the use of other fandoms besides the two main ones, the only things important to understanding the world and such are RWBY and Hetalia. The only reason anything else is involved is we didn't want to make a bunch of OC's as Jaune's siblings and their teams. Bits of their plot lines might be interwoven to give the siblings something to do, but they aren't a big deal in this storyline and and greatly altered to fit this world.
We own nothing. If you recognize it, then it is from the source material and not us.
Chapter 1: The Worst First Impression of the Entire Family Award Goes To…
30 years ago…
"The fuck?"
"As uncouth as always I see~"
"Shit! Don't scare me like that!"
"Get the hell off my foot!"
"Hey, stop pushing!"
"Don't pout at me! It was that idiot's fault for stepping on my foot in the first place!"
"Why must you always blow things out of proportion?"
"No don't fight! Don't fight guys! Calm down! Please calm down!"
"Calm?! Who the fuck do you think you are?! Calm? I will show you absolute fucking serenity when I rip her head from her stupid, uppity shoulders!"
"Could we at least figure out what's going on before we start screaming and fighting?"
"Ow! You bit me! That hurt! Why are you always so mean to me?"
"Everyone shut up! Something is wrong here!"
"Yeah, it doesn't look much like home, does it? I wasn't going to say anything, because I thought it was just me…"
"What- Why weren't you going to say anything, stupid tomato bastard! That's something you should share, idiota!"
"I wouldn't put it in such terms, but she's right, you know."
"Uh, guys…"
"Don't agree with me, cheese-eater, it's fucking creepy!"
"That is hardly an insult, my dear. Do work on that."
"Guys, why are you arguing? We should concentrate on figuring out what is going on."
"Guys…"
"Don't tell me to fucking work on my insults, they are just fine! In fact-"
"Guys!"
"What?!"
"We've got company!"
"Oh. Oh dear."
"Shit. What the fuck is that ugly thing?"
"Don't insult it! What if it's friendly?"
"Anyone know what the hell that is?"
"It looks cute! I think it wants to be friends! Ooh! We can name it-!"
"Absolutely not! We are not naming that thing, we don't even know what it is! That's a stupid idea!"
"But we named the turtles, and what if it's like them?"
"Guys…"
"No, and that's final. I didn't want the dumb turtles in the first place! They were fucking everywhere, do know how long it took to clean that shit up?!"
"Is this really the time?"
"But-but…"
"No! And turn those puppy-eyes somewhere else. You're giving me a migraine!"
"GUYS!"
"What?!"
"I don't think it's friendly."
Now…
Why did it have to be an airship? Couldn't they have gotten a bus to Beacon, or something? That's what schools normally did, right? Buses?
Jaune D'Arc let out a groan as he leaned his back against the cool metal wall. He tried not to focus on the vibration of the metal supporting him as the airship ascended.
"Dude, you don't look so good." came the voice of this twin brother through the scroll resting on his drawn-up knees.
Jaune groaned again, "Ugh, I think we're taking off." His stomach began to roll as the airship rose. He resolutely kept his eyes trained on the scroll, not daring to look out the floor-to-ceiling windows he sometimes thought were made specifically to torture anyone with motion sickness.
His twin, Prompto, hissed sympathetically, "Oh, I'm sorry, man. But hey, at least it's an airship and not in a car with Tía Roma driving."
"Could you maybe not mention that?" Jaune asked. "Just thinking about it makes me feel worse." Tía Roma's driving was the stuff of nightmares.
"Sorry, sorry!" Prompto chirped. "But at least it'll be over soon, right? And then you'll be at Beacon!"
"Yeah. Here's hoping I don't completely embarrass myself." he sighed. Don't think about Tía Roma driving. Don't think about Tía Roma driving. Think about… think about… uh, the Trouble Trio painting Papa's nails bright pink. That was amusing- well, until they'd gotten ahold of him and Prompto, and they hadn't managed to talk their way out of a full makeover like Papa had. He was pretty sure Mutti had taken pictures for the dreaded Family Album that Mamá kept.
Prompto waved a hand, "Nah, dude, you'll be fine. Eh, probably. Besides, I'll embarrass myself even more. I mean, I already tripped into this really pretty girl, and… well… yeah." he trailed off awkwardly.
Jaune tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace since his nausea was getting worse by the second. Stupid air-sickness. "Uh, Prompto, I think I better go… I'm gonna be sick…"
"Yeah. Right. Well, I guess we'll talk tonight- we can compare embarrassing stories! Good luck, and say hi to Takuma for me!" Prompto replied, before ending the call. Jaune scrambled to his feet as his stomach heaved, nearly pitching over onto his face. He stumbled his way around the airship, ignoring the screens and windows as much as possible in his search for a bathroom. He didn't know if he was just oblivious or what, but he could not seem to find one and the situation was getting dire.
He managed to outdo Prompto's tripping into a pretty girl by puking on a pretty girl's shoe. He'd probably outdo all of their siblings by the end of the day, even Ban. Ban's first-day of shenanigans had gone down in legends, but Jaune had no doubt that he'd be known as Vomit Boy to his peers before the day was up. These things always seemed to happen to him. Only Prompto and sometimes the Trouble Trio ever had the kind of bad luck he did. Maybe Sophie did? He could never tell if her 'bad luck' was accidental or on purpose.
Jaune had been miserable in the bathroom for what felt like ages before the airship landed and the voice on the intercom called for them to exit in an orderly fashion, and that their belongings barring overnight bags would be stored until they were assigned dorms.
He felt a little bad about completely ignoring that 'orderly fashion' thing, but as soon as he'd begun to walk the nausea had hit again and he'd been forced to run off the ship and to the nearest trash can. No one stopped him, so he likely wasn't in trouble.
By the time he'd managed to calm his stomach enough to leave the trash can, most of the students had left and only a few stragglers remained. Uncertain, he followed the general direction some of them seemed to be meandering in. Had someone given them directions at some point that he had missed? Jaune had no idea where he should be going. He assumed towards the building, but he thought an auditorium had been mentioned.
The teen stuffed his hands into his pockets, and did his best interpretation of his Papa or Ban's confident walks. He probably didn't get it exactly right, but he thought it best to pretend he had the same air they managed as naturally as breathing.
A loud bang startled him into focusing less on his walk and more where he was going. Ahead of him he saw two girls- one in a red cape and another that glowed white under the smoke that surrounded her. As she stomped her heeled foot, the smoke dissipated.
"Unbelievable!" the girl in the white dress shouted loudly enough for him to hear from where he was frozen in the middle of the walkway like an idiot, "This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about!"
He couldn't hear the other girl's response, though she looked a little like Mamá did whenever Tía Roma started shouting at her. But the other girl, like Tía Roma, just kept shouting. He couldn't help but give a small smile. He already missed home, but it was nice to see something that reminded him so much of them. These two must be good friends, then.
Another girl interrupted the conversation just as he had been wondering if he should play mediator Mutti in this situation, since the girl doing the Mamá impersonation seemed to be getting angry and that was never good news. After a bit of an exchange, both the girl in the white dress and the newcomer in the bow walked off, leaving the girl in the bright red hood to slump to the ground, after vainly calling after the girl in white that she would make things up.
Ouch. It seemed he wasn't the only one having a less-than-stellar first day. He decided to approach, since she seemed to be less likely to yell at him or something than anyone else.
Holding out his hand, he said, "Hey… I'm Jaune." The girl opened silver eyes, seeming at first surprised, but then she smiled with what might have been embarrassment.
"Ruby." she replied as she accepted his hand and he helped her to stand. Then she let out a little snort, and added, "Aren't you the guy that threw up on the ship?"
Suddenly, he had the overwhelming desire to bang his head against the nearest solid surface. Repeatedly. Stellar first impression, really. He dropped her hand, letting out a little cry of frustration.
"It's not my fault that movement and I don't exactly agree!" he wailed. Really, it was probably Tía Roma's fault if it was anyone's besides bad luck.
He sighed and shook his head as the pair of them began to continue down the path, "You know, it's not that uncommon for people to suffer from motion sickness. I knew someone else in the Arc who did. Why would they have ginger ale if they didn't have people who got motion sick anyways?" He went on his usual spiel that he'd given a few times in his life. Jaune was used to having to defend his condition from pesky older siblings (Ban and Fang, mostly). He finished at last, as he noticed he'd gone on for a bit too long, with, "All I'm saying is that motion sickness is a much more common problem than people let on!"
The girl, Ruby, let out a little chuckle. Good. She seemed amused and not put-off. He was getting somewhere! "Look, I'm sorry! Vomit Boy was the first thing that came to mind."
"Oh, yeah?" he sniped, still a little annoyed that of all first impressions, that was what he'd be stuck with for the next four years… assuming he wasn't kicked out. "What if I called you Crater Face?" It wasn't hard to connect the dots that she'd somehow caused the explosion he'd heard.
"Hey, that explosion was an accident!" she wailed defensively, as Serena sometimes did (only a little less ear-piercingly shrill).
Jaune took a breath, and once more attempted to recreate Papa's confidence. "Well, the name's Jaune D'Arc! Short, sweet, rolls of the tongue- ladies love it!" Really, he'd been a genius to come up with it instead of going with one of his parent's long last names. Really, Jaune Beilschmidt? Bonnefoy? Fernandez-Carriedo? Jaune D'Arc was so much better, and it made Mutti smile at him.
"Do they?" Ruby asked with a snort, a little too skeptically for his comfort.
"They will!" he protested. Did he sound a little too desperate? "I-I hope they will. Mamá always says that…" he froze. It probably wasn't cool to talk about Mamá… "Never mind." He felt bad for that a little, but he was trying to salvage his image. He could just imagine the sad, disappointed puppy eyes she'd give. He had to shake the image away before he folded like wet paper at the mere memory.
Ruby giggled. After a short, awkward silence she mentioned, "So… I got this thing!" After a loud, mechanical noise a scythe bigger than her was suddenly stabbed into the ground. He took two cautionary steps back. He'd already drawn the connection to Mamá, but now it was getting scary. She swung that thing as easily as Mamá swung Maria the axe. That was not a comforting thought.
"Whoa!" he yelped, taking another step back for good measure, "Is that a scythe?" At least it wasn't an axe, at least it wasn't an axe.
"It's also a customizable, high-impact sniper rifle!" Ruby chirped happily as Mamá always did when gushing about weapons, his siblings and himself, or Tía Roma.
He tilted his head and stuttered, "A- wha…?"
The girl hefted the scythe and cocked it with a grin, "It's also a gun."
"Oh. That's cool!" he remarked, trying to be a little brighter about it. It was a scythe. That was nothing like Maria! It was… it was… scarier? No, no. Focus.
"So, what've you got?" Ruby asked curiously. Oh. Damn. He'd already Summoned it right? He nearly panicked until he realized he had kept it on his belt and not released it as he'd feared for one terrible moment.
"I, uh…" he unsheathed the sword from the shield, and said with forced cheer, "I got this sword!"
Ruby looked at it with what he hoped wasn't faked appreciation, "Oooh!"
Encouraged, he added, "Yeah, and I've got a shield, too!" he reached for the shield and expanded the metal into the full shield. The device upon it was his own personal symbol within the family.
"So, what do they do?" Ruby asked, reaching forward and tapping the shield, which as he jerked back in surprise, began to collapse. He fumbled with it for a moment, still shocked that someone would touch his weapon. It was just something not done within the family. Maybe it wasn't like that everywhere else, but it was still a bit of a surprise.
Once he'd gotten it back in place and on his belt, he said, "Well, the shield gets smaller, so when I get tired of carrying it, I can just… put it away…" he cursed his awkwardness. Where had it come from? His parents were so smooth and cool! He didn't understand why he and Prompto were so cursed.
"But… wouldn't it weigh the same?" Ruby asked.
He hung his head, "Yeah, it does…" Papa had said it would build up his stamina. Why couldn't he have gotten something lighter, like Mutti's foil, Tía Roma's knives, or Prompto's guns? No, he just had to get Papa's kind of weapon. He'd tried swinging that thing around as a kid and had nearly chopped Prompto's head off.
"Well, I'm kind of a dork when it comes to weapons, so… I guess I did go a little overboard when designing it." Ruby giggled, admiring the handle of the red and black scythe.
He stopped short in surprise, "Wait- you made that?!" How? It seemed like it would be complicated to say the least. Jaune could never hope to make something like that.
"Of course!" she chirped, "All students at Signal forge their own weapons! Didn't you make yours?"
Oh no, oh no, oh no… Act cool, how was he supposed to explain this? He wasn't supposed to reveal what his weapon was, or that there was anything out of the ordinary. He hadn't been prepared to answer questions this fast! If he'd known he would have come up with a story with Prompto or something!
What to say, what to say. "Uh, yeah, but it was mostly Papa and Mamá who did all of the work. They kind of like that stuff…" That sounded normal enough, right? He wasn't exactly lying, either, since they'd done all of the modifications to it once he'd finally learned how to Summon it.
"Well, I like it! Not many people have an appreciation for the classics these days." Ruby replied. Good. She didn't seem suspicious.
He sighed as he sheathed the sword, "Yeah, the classics…" He honestly would have preferred that something else be his soul, but he supposed that just spoke to how boring he was… well, he supposed Papa had something similar, but it was different. Papa could make anything cool- well, awesome as he would say.
Ruby began walk and he to follow and asked, "So, why'd you help me out back there? In the courtyard?"
"Eh, why not?" he replied with an easy shrug. "Mutti always says, 'Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.'" He was pretty sure that Mutti had been implying something completely different, but he had decided to take it at face-value for his sanity.
Ruby nodded and began to slow. She stopped, looking around in confusion, "Hey, where are we going?"
"Oh, I don't know! I was following you." he came to a stop, looking around in worry. "Y-You think there might be a directory? Maybe a food court? Some kind of recognizable landmark?" As Ruby snorted in amusement, he turned to face her and asked, "Is, uh… is that a no?"
"That's a 'no'."