Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck
I know this has been done before. Even a game has been made. But hear me out, Terezi Pyrope: Ace attorney. Please. Just...give me a chance.
H~
Turnabout English Part 1
Your name is Terezi Pyrope. Currently you're trying to staple all of your paperwork into neat little stacks.
But, there's literally just too much.
Only a week in the legislating business and your desk is a mess of papers and completely random shit. There's even a stress ball on here. Why the hell would you need a stress ball?
Your office isn't even all that impressive in the first place. The desk is definitely the biggest thing in the room, out showing what little decoration you put into it. Mainly pictures of you and your old friends. All in red frames, of course.
There was a couple of light knocks on the door and you growl 'come in', still fighting with the stapler.
Your close friend, and personal assistant, barges through. She's dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans covered by her normal green trench coat. Sliding onto your desk she knocks some of your papers off.
...Goddammit...
"Nepeta..." You sigh and bend to pick up the fallen sheets. They were addressing someone named Dirk...you don't really care.
Nepeta fixed her blue cat hat and grabs your shoulders, ruffling your blue suit.
"Guess what!?" She shrieks oh so close to your sensitive ears. You love her, but holy shit, why's she got to do that?
Going back to your stapling you ask, "What? Did Dave ask Jade out again?" She was always telling you about their relationship developments some way or another. As if you actually cared about your old crush's personal life.
...Which you don't.
She crinkles her nose, "No, sadly enough. I'll give you a hint though," Nepeta sits up on your desk and shuffles around with some papers, "It's got something to do with Karkitty."
You don't answer this time, instead you take the papers from her hands and staple them together. One question: If she was the assistant, why the hell isn't she doing this?
Frustrated at your attempts to ignore her, she starts batting around your tie like some kind of cat.
Her hands slip and you fumble around with the stapler, stapling the desk instead.
"Dammit Nepeta." You groan but smile playfully at her. You won't ever be able to get truly angry at the girl.
She giggles and points to the left hand cuff of your suit, "It's stuck to the table!" Nepeta busts out into a cute little fit of giggles.
What?
Oh your suit...The suit that you rented for forty bucks. With the forty bucks you never really had at the time. It's not such a big deal, you guess.
Nepeta gets on all fours on top of your desk, bending over to pull the metal binding out of your suit.
You shift and suppose this would be a suggestive pose. If any one were around to witness.
Some else ran through your door. Speak of the devil, it's Karkat Vantas. In all of his short and angry glory.
He's about to say something, but stops, "Uh, am I interrupting something here?" Karkat looks coy. Or as coy as Karkat-fucking-Vantas can get.
You and Nepeta get flustered and she falls off your desk onto the blue carpeted floor. Quickly she gets up, smoothing her coat in a rush.
You've always know of Nepeta's crush on your delicious smelling friend. It's like everyone but him can see it. And you're the blind one for God's sake.
Karkat walks over to your desk, holding a stack of papers.
"Oh God, more work?" You groan. Sure this is your dream job and all, but you haven't even had a case yet. Just fucking filling out forms till your hands ached.
Before answering he looks at your sleeve that's still stapled to the desk and frowns. Or, frowns more than he already was, you should say.
He leans in so close that your heart almost stops, smelling his so-natural-it's-almost-scary cherry scent, and plucks the staple out of your coat. That's it. No tears or anything.
"You're an idiot. How the fuck did you even manage to do that in the first damn place?"
"What? You mean I can't just staple my arm to my desk without being asked questions?" Good come back, Pyrope. Sometimes you hate yourself for the stupid things you say.
For as long as you can remember you two have been best friends. Practically going every together. Most of your photos were of you and him, but you kept those out of the public eye. In fact, Karkat's the guy who got you the job in the first place.
You owe him a lot for that.
He just threw the packet on your desk, knocking more stuff off.
Did no one but you care about the organization of your office? Yes? Okay then.
"Just look at it, Pyrope." Then he turned around and stomped out of the office.
But before he could leave you say, "Wait!" He stops, "Thanks." You manage to say it coolly. Good job Terezi. No one can be cooler than you. Except for Dave maybe.
"No problem." He leaves without another word.
He can be so stubbornly cute sometimes.
"Woah! Ter, look at this!" Nepeta had already started flipping through the packet of papers, "I knew he was going to give you something but I didn't think it'd be this!"
"It's about some kinda murder. Some famous movie actor named Jake English was murdered today by one of his close furriends." She puts extra emphasis on the 'furr' in friends.
Jake English? You loved that guy. If it wasn't for his movie with Nic Cage: Lawyers in Love. You probably wouldn't even be here right now. God, that was a good movie.
Now the guy was dead. Damn, it felt like a close friend passing away. Even though you've never actually met the him in real life.
"Hand me that Nep." You hold your hand out and begin licking and sniffing through the multiple pages. Then you smell something weird on the back of one of them.
Feeling around you found a piece of paper taped to the back. On it was a sloppily written phone number in pink sharpie with the words 'calll me lter' on the side. You rip it off and hand Nep the recently licked piece of tape.
She makes a face, "You could've just asked me to read it to you." Sometimes she thinks your way of 'seeing' is disgusting. But you never really minded if she cared or not.
You ignore the statement and push it closer towards her to which she recoils, "Call this and I'll read the packet."
She grimaces, "Can't it just be the other way around?"
You shrug and put the phone number next to you, she takes the packet and you pull out your cellphone. It really didn't matter as long as things were getting done.
Karkat could've just handed you a case or some random papers. It might even be part of a silly game he wants to play. Although Karkat Vantas never wastes his time with games. Whatever, might as well try it out anyways.
After two rings it picks up, "Heey, Karkar..." Someone who's obviously drunk answers.
Karkar? You make a mental note to tease him about this later.
"No. It's a friend of his."You try to put on a serious voice and say your self-given title, "Terezi Pyrope: Attorney."
"So you're a lawyer too?" The more you talk to her the more intoxicated she sounds.
"Yes. Not to pry, but why did you give your number to Karkat?" Might as well get to the bottom of that mystery.
A pause and you could here sounds of drinking, "I've been accused of a murder..." Her voice turns quite. Respect for the dead you guess?
Your grip tightens on the phone. Murder? Did Karkat really just hand you a case? You need to ask him about that later.
"Look. Just give me the address...of-of your office thingy. I'll fill you in later."
You really wanted to talk to her more, but Nepeta had started tapping your shoulder. It was quite annoying. You relay the information and hang up.
"What is it Nepeta?" You say as papers were thrust into your face.
"It's a case, an actual case!" She said, clearly too excited to say more.
Taking the papers you sniff the black ink, a picture of the words being made in your mind.
So it's true. A murder case where the victim is a Mr. Jake English, pro actor, and the defendant is a Ms. Roxy Lalonde, some random drunk that Karkat met and somehow charmed.
Fucking great. Your first case involves life and death.
No pressure at all.
H~
Fun fact: This is actually my first time writing in second person. So that's something I'll probably mess up on often.