A/N: not really a Cori fic, no happy ending that I can see, one shot. Cat point of view, she might seem out of character but I think she is actually like this and just acts, crazy.

There she is again by her locker, her long brown hair cascading down her back reaching the middle of her back, it shines in the light and I can't help but wonder what it would be like to run my fingers through it, to feel how soft it is. She starts walking over to me and I try to think of a random subject to talk to her about, so she won't find out that I'm in love with her? Am I? I don't know, all I do know is that I can't get her out of my mind, she consumes my every thought, constantly on my mind day and night, and the worst part is she will never ever be mine, she's straight and like Andre and boy do I know it! She is always going on about him, over analysing every little thing, he says or does near her. It's so annoying, frustrating, saddening, because I have to pretend to be interested (which isn't hard because I like just listening to her talk), I have to be a good best friend, the best. That way I get to sleep around her house, touch her, hug her without really having a reason, and I tell you what that's the next best thing.

Her smile sends shivers down my spine, her laugh lights up my world. A simple touch from her and I can barely breath. It kills me to know I won't be hers, but almost always being there with her, experiencing new things, living most of my life with her is the next best thing.

She tells me Andre's asked her out on a date, she squeals while telling me and I can tell she truly is happy. She asks me to come over tonight and help her pick out an outfit, anything to see her in barely anything. If I can't be the one to get her out of her clothes then watching her change is the next best thing.

That night I cried myself to sleep, knowing that Tori was out with Andre, out with the love of her life, as she called him, knowing she was happy and in love and not with me.

I dreamt of her which at the moment to me is the next best thing.

…

On Monday jade realises I'm not as happy, not that anyone else does, there all too caught up in the happy couple that is Tori and Andre or Tandre as everyone is calling them. They kiss at the lunch table all the time, it's almost constant and I have to excuse myself, I run to the janitors cupboard and cry. Not long after I've hidden in there Jade comes, and I break down in her arms, she shushes me and tells me everything is going to be okay. I shake my head; nothing is going to be okay, not as long as Tandre is together. (That sounds so selfish but I want Tori, all to myself, I don't like sharing)

Jade seems surprised once I've told her about my love for Tori, and I'm scared she'll leave, but she doesn't, she stays with me long after the bell has rung for next lesson, she stays until I can't cry anymore, and then she helps clean me up and reapply my makeup. As we leave the cupboard I ask her not to tell anyone and she promises. Jade never breaks her promises.

I carry on for a few days, smiling and acting happy for Tori, but all too soon may façade breaks and Tori asks me what's wrong. She seems genuinely concerned and I want to see, see if we have a chance. So I tell her, everything from the way I love her hair, to the way it's made me feel to see her with Andre.

She seems disgusted and I shrink back, so afraid to speak that I make whimpering noises. Her eyes are wide and she mutters an apology before running off. She hardly ever speaks to me now, only in class when she's forced too. Our groups fallen apart, the two couples, Beck & Jade and Tori & Andre split the group, Robbie hangs with Tori, I hang with Jade. I get dirty looks from Tori and Jade gives them back, I could never give a dirty look to Tori or be mad with her, I love her too much, it hurts so bad, I'm not the happy, bubbly girl I use to be. I'm just a shell, I look like Cat Valentine, smell like her, but no longer act like her, the Cat Valentine you use to know, is dead. Meet the new one, the one Tandre created. Don't like me, I don't care. I have Jade and Beck, they are all I need.

A/N: there you have it, slightly dark Cat, but please review.