The following was found in a notebook of mine. I wrote it some time ago, and intended it to begin a story which I have outlined. I thought my readers might like a nibble.
88888888
The Monster In My Mirror
by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff
Chapter One: The Isolation Ward
88888888
My name is Julian Subatoi Bashir and at the time I begin this record I am thirty-nine Federation standard years old. I was born on Earth in the city of London to Richard and Amsha Bashir in the Earth year of 2342 AD.
As it stands now I have been convicted of a most heinous crime that I did not commit. The taking of the life of another sentient being. Though in times of war I have done such a thing in self defense or the defense of my comrades, the willful premeditated act of murder is beyond me.
The true sin which condemns me in the eyes of others is the fact that I was genetically enhanced as a child. This is a crime that sent my father to prison for a time, but has imprisoned me in a lie for most of my life. It is a sin which I cannot be forgiven of, though I am the victim and not the perpetrator.
Perhaps in reading this you will find forgiveness for the things that I both am and am not guilty of. Perhaps you will come to understand the true nature of the monster that I see each time that I gaze into my mirror, and understand for your own sake the meaning of what it is like to walk in an innocent man's shoes in time of condemnation.
88888888
Julian looked up from the padd on which he had been writing. The journal had been Dr. Nurek's idea, though keeping it in code for the time being had been his. He had to stop every four paragraphs or so and compose the code in his head for the next section. For him the equations took only minutes, but for anyone else it would take days and the aide of a computer.
The outer door of the isolation room opened to admit Dr. Nurek. The Vulcan was a crisp contrast in his Starfleet uniform on the outside of the forcefield to the rumpled blue patients gown and pants that Bashir wore.
Bashir set the padd and stylus down on the table and came to a more formal sitting position on the bench that served as a bed and the rooms only two pieces of furniture. They were attached to the wall so that a more violent patient could not use them as weapons.
"You are still not eating Julian." Nurek said. Like most Vulcans he always got right to the point.
"I'm not hungry." said Julian. It wasn't quite a bold faced lie. With everything that weighted on Bashir's shoulders he was not thinking about food. The fact was that he had gone longer without food while he was in solitary in the Dominion internment camp before Worf and Garak had arrived. He was just not going to make his jailers happy by caving in to there every demand. There were no delusions about ever being a free man again, so he would fight for what control of his life that he had, and at the moment that meant refusing to eat.
"Your blood sugar levels have dropped below acceptable healthy levels for your species." said Nurek. "You are taking in water, but not at a sufficient rate to equal the rate you are excreting it. Surly as a doctor you can see that this is not in your best interest."
"Being here is not in my best interest, Dr. Nurek."
"The findings of the court disagree with your logic."
Bashir stood up and balled his hands into fists at his side. "The findings of the court were wrong!"
Two orderlies entered the outer part of the isolation room carrying restraints. "Since you refuse to cooperate the courts have given us the authority to medically intervene for your safety."
That was when Julian smelled the Anesthazine. They were pumping it into his cell. He tried to hold his breath, and the room grew cloudy, but he stood there. He stood for five minutes without breathing, but finally he could resist no more. When his lungs cried out to the point that he could not force them to remain closed he gave up and took in a deep breath. Then another and another until his eyes grew heavy and he stumbled back slumping to the bench behind him.
When the sensors showed that Bashir was in a deep slumber the gas was cleared from the cell, the forcefield was dropped and the orderlies secured him for transport to the Institute infirmary. "I would have preferred this had not been necessary." said Dr. Nurek.
88888888