I do not own these characters, am not afiliated with ABC or Disney, blah blah blah… you know how it goes.

I don't really have any beginning notes for this fic. Everything will be told and come out in the opening chapters.

July 2009

Chapter 1

Jason stood in front of the sink in his master bathroom. He rinsed the blood from his knuckles and winced in pain when he added soap to them. Both of his hands were swollen and already bruising up. He knew there was no way to hide the injuries but he knew that he made his point and the man would never go to the authorities. That is not what worried him. What worried Jason was that when he looked up at the mirror in front of him, he did not recognize the man staring back at him. His face was different, covered in a beard, but that was not it. Nor was it the small purple bruise below his eye from the one punch the man had landed on him in defense.

Normally Jason was the calm one. He was a thinking man that analyzed every situation, sometimes overanalyzing. Things seemed to be getting worse and he did not know how to stop himself. This man did not deserve the beating he got and had Cody not pulled him off of him, Jason was certain he would have killed him. Cody immediately took the worker to the hospital and told Jason to get home. Cody assured him he would tell the doctors he was jumped behind a bar. Reluctantly Jason agreed when something deep down told him that what he was doing was wrong.

He was a worker in the warehouse and made a snide comment when he did not know Jason could hear him. His comment was something about Jason being a loose cannon recently and said he should have stayed working for Sonny. That was all Jason needed to hear.

It was episodes like this that has been following Jason around for months. What started out as a slow downward spiral has turned into a freefall. For years Jason was the hit man with a heart, the enforcer with a soul… the reasonable one. That all changed with the flip of a switch. The switch was turned off on him and Elizabeth along with the switch on him and his son. Once the Russians left town he had nothing left.

Jason wrapped his hands in some gauze he kept in his medicine cabinet and made a beeline for the liquor cabinet. Tequila… tequila would give him comfort. Tequila would make him forget. Tequila would make him stop wallowing. Tequila would give him the warmth he needed and had not felt in a long time. He twisted the cap off and dropped it on the floor. The liquid warmed his lips and slowly warmed his insides as it flowed down his throat. As quick as he felt the warmth, cold again appeared in his body. When he finally pulled the half empty bottle from his lips he threw it against the wall on the opposite side of the room. Tequila… tequila reminded him of his Elizabeth.

"Jason!" he heard being yelled through the door of the Penthouse. It was followed by a relentless fist pounding on the thick, hard wood door. "Jason, I know you are in there!" she yelled.

His head was pounding. He stretched and looked around the room wondering how he'd ended up on the floor beside the pool table.

"Jason!" she repeated, still pounding causing Jason to wince. His head pounded along with each echo of the door.

Over past months he had gotten used to the hangovers. He had bought every bottle of his import brew within a 100 mile radius… and drank them all. Some days he even settled for the cheap college beers that tasted like water. Today's hangover was the worst. He pushed himself up from the floor and groaned in pain when his knuckles felt the weight from his body. They could have been broken but there is nothing that could have been done so he'd have to deal.

"Jason!" the voice yelled yet again. "Open the damn door!"

He finally reached the door and opened it half way. He rested his forearm on the side of the door and his other forearm on the wall, blocking entrance with his body to his luxury apartment. "What do you want Carly?" he groaned.

"You look like shit. What the fuck is the matter with you?"

Jason shook his head, "Just leave." He said coldly.

"That's all you ever say to me anymore. Jason we used to be best friends and now you won't even answer my phone calls. You have been like this for months and I'm worried about you."

Jason shook his head, "I don't need you to worry about me. I'm fine." He closed his eyes and groaned from his pounding head. "Now leave me alone." He turned and pushed the door closed but Carly caught it with her foot and kicked it open. Jason did not have the strength to stop her and she barged into the apartment.

"I will not leave you alone and you are not fine. Look at you, when is the last time you shaved? Who gave you that shiner? I am going to worry about you because whether you like it or not I care about you."

Jason closed the door and leaned against it. "Carly, I am not your best friend anymore. I told you that we should not have anymore contact. You need to be safe and that is the best way to ensure that." He pushed himself off the door and took a few strides toward the steps. "Now leave, I'm going to take a shower."

"No." she simply stated as she glanced around the apartment. "What the fuck happened here?" The place was a mess. He had obviously torn it up in anger. The coffee table was flipped over, the liquor cabinet was as well and a bottle of tequila was shattered on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"I was robbed." He shrugged.

"Did you beat up the thief? Is that what happened to your hands?" she pointed at the bandages that were halfway on his hands, red soaked gauze hanging messily from his hand.

Jason crossed his arms over his chest, "I don't need saving if that is what you are here for Carly. If you want to save someone, go over Sonny's, it seems like he needs it more then I do."

"He is Claudia's problem now. She can handle him."

Jason rolled his eyes, "Whatever Carly, just leave me alone." He said in a higher voice.

"I am not going away. I am not going to let you hurt yourself or someone else, this is not you Jason."

Jason took the first step and looked back at her, "You don't know me anymore." He said coldly in a low voice.

"I know you Jason!" she yelled. "You are the same man that saved me many times. You save me, my boys, half of Port Charles!" she screeched. Jason turned back and continued up the steps. She moved to the bottom of the steps, "You saved Elizabeth and her boys."

She did not see him wince at the mention of their names.

"This is not going to make it feel better… not feeling, you taught me that. It only makes it harder, sadder and more lonely." Carly said with tears in her eyes.

"You can let yourself out." Jason said, his voice cracking.