Hey guys! First fanfiction on this site! I'm planning on making this one really deep compared to my ones on other sites. Wanna know about other things I've written? Just ask!

I have high hopes for this story! R&R please, and know that I'm hoping to update as often as possible! Reviews make me update faster! ON TO THE STORY!

"You're late, ."

"I'm aware… Can I still see him?"

"Of course. But it'll have to be quick."

"Thank you so much."

They began to walk.

"Has he woken up?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Oh."

It became silent, excusing the sound of their light footsteps against the tiled floor and the ticking of the clocks. One clock every ten metres; Matthew never understood why they were there. He hoped he wouldn't be coming to this place long enough to find out.

"Here we are."

The sound of their footsteps ceased as they stopped in front of a closed door. It was unlocked, as usual. It was always the same.

"Thank you."

"Please, there's no need for you to thank me."

Mathew didn't reply. This conversation happened every day, and he always stopped replying after that. Instead, he tightly gripped the cold metal handle and walked into the dark room. Usually the room was bright. Then again, Mathew usually arrived hours earlier than eight o'clock PM.

The doctor left, and Matthew walked deeper into the room until he was able to sit in the chair directly beside the bed. The chair was colder than usual, having not been basking in the windows sunlight for at least an hour, probably more. It was winter, after all. It got darker at earlier hours.

As Matthew sat in the cold chair his eyes stayed trained on the body laying on the bed. How something so terrible could be happening to such a wonderful person, would never understand.

He didn't bother crying. He was out of tears.

He didn't bother begging for the man to wake up. He was through with asking.

He didn't even bother grabbing the pale hand of the man he'd once called his lover and stroking the soft palms that he'd grown so attached to. He couldn't remember a time while this beautiful man was conscious where they weren't holding hands.

Of coarse, five years is a long time to remember such petty things.

And so, Matthew just sat there and stared at the seemingly lifeless body. His eyes attempted to find new things to memorize about the albino skin, but everything was already so implanted in his mind that he could probably be half way across the world and still able to paint of perfect portrait of the man.

"I still haven't forgotten about you," he whispered to the man, though Matthew wasn't foolish enough to actually believe that the man, Gilbert was his name, could hear him. was aware that Gilbert was to far in slumber to hear anything. "You didn't forget about me. You never did. You were the first one to really notice me in the first place. I guess…" He paused. He was so terribly sure that he'd run out of tears, but his eyes were now stinging. He supposed it was because he usually didn't talk to Gilbert's slumbering self. At least, not like this. "I guess it's because i want you to know that I still do love you. I'm repaying the favor I guess… Because I haven't forgotten about you. It's been five years Gil-" Matthew choked, saying the name proving to be a hard task as a single tear ran down his cheek, "It's been five years and I still haven't gone a day without visiting."

There was a long silence after that. Matthew wanted so desperately for Gilbert to answer. He wanted the albino to smile at him, tell him everything was alright, and then take him into his arms for hours. That's what Gilbert had always done when Matthew was sad. Without fail, the albino always comforted him. Was it so much to ask that Gilbert wake up for even one minute just to hold Matthew?

"I seen Alfred today," Matthew continued. He didn't understand why he was talking to someone who wasn't capable of listening. "We talked about you. I was strong Gilbert, I didn't cry." He smiled, finding the name rolled off his tongue a bit easier this time and the tears were no longer stinging his eyes. "I wondered if maybe I didn't cry because I just didn't care anymore. I realized that I do. I care so much still. But you've got to understand that it's been five years… This is getting hard for me." He took a deep breath, and for once actually allowed himself to capture Gilbert's hand in his own. It was so cold. "Alfred suggested I should move on. He said you'd understand. As if he'd know what you'd think… He never liked you to begin with."

Matthew once again paused, as if awaiting an answer.

Why did he wait if he knew it would never come?

"I thought about it though. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should move on. Maybe you would understand." Yet another pause, though this one shorter. Matthew just needed a second to collect himself because the tears were once again stinging. "You never forgot me, and I won't ever forget you. But it's been five years. Five years alone. Five years cold. Five years waiting. Gilbert, I miss you, so much. But maybe… Maybe I should move on. I can't keep waiting like this."

Matthew released the cold, unmoving hand. Matthew let the tears sting, and he let them fall slowly down his cheeks. "My God, I miss you… I promise I always will. But I have to say goodbye Gilbert. Please understand…"

Another Pause…

"Ivan asked me to go out for some drinks. I think I'm going to accept his offer. I think I'm ready to let go of you. So… If you hear me right now, and if I'm the only reason you're still fighting-" Matthew choked on a sob, "If you're fighting to live for me, then stop. Just let go. Please Gilbert, I can't keep waiting."

As he continued to sob Matthew watched Gilbert's face. No movement, no words. Just a blank expression with slow and shaky breaths passing the slightly opened lips.

"Answer me," Matthew sobbed, and he slowly began to get angry. "Answer me, damn it! Answer!" There was, obviously, no answer. "Gilbert! Answer me, now!" Matthew was crying and basically screaming and within seconds the doctor had rushed in with a nurse.

Matthew struggled against the doctors large arms as they held him back. "Come on, calm down son." The older man was trying to soothe him, trying to calm him down. Matthew knew that. He was registering as much.

He just didn't care.

He kept at it, struggling against the grip the doctor was holding around him while screaming at Gilbert. He screamed 'Wake up' and 'Answer me' and things of the likes over and over until his throat burned and cracked. His screams reduced to shouts, which soon became sobs. Those sobs transferred to whispers, which minutes later became silence. Matthew had run out of energy. He'd ran out of tears. just couldn't do it anymore.

After the doctor let him go the nurse informed him it was time to leave. With a silent nod, Matthew complied. He apologized for his outrageous behavior, only to be told that he had nothing to apologize for. But, of course, he did.

Before leaving he asked for just one more moment alone with the patient, and his wish was granted. He and Gilbert were once again alone in the hospital room. Gilbert stayed laying silently on the bed, making it so obvious that he was in a coma. Matthew stood beside him with a frown, making it so obvious that he was extremely depressed and upset.

"I'm sorry Gilbert, I'm not coming back. Please, if you need to let go then do it. If you ever do wake up… Well, I don't know what'll happen. I love you. Goodbye."

And with that, Matthew Williams exited the hospital room with a straight face. He walked down the hall silently, excusing the sound of his light footsteps against the tiled floor and the ticking of the clocks. One clock every ten meters; Matthew never understood why they were there. He knew he wouldn't be coming to this place long enough to find out, because this would be his final visit.

It was silent, excusing the sound of their light footsteps against the tiled floor and the ticking of the clocks. One clock every ten metres; Matthew never understood why they were there, and he was sure he never would.

It'd been a year since the last time Matthew had visited Gilbert, a year since his breakdown in the hospital room. Now everything was different. There was a new doctor taking care of the albino, and the smell of the hospital no longer seemed familiar to Matthew. Matthew had come to be happy with someone new, only to have said person break his heart. And now Matthew Williams had absolutely no idea what to do with himself and was turning to the only person who loved him; an unconscious man who hadn't woken up for 6 years.

To be honest, Matthew felt extremely desperate, but what else could he do? He had no other options.

None.

He very quickly reached the hospital room and entered without a word to the doctor. He already knew Gilbert's current state - holding steady but still in a deep slumber. The doctors were positive he may never wake up.

Matthew agreed with them.

Yet still, he sat in the cold chair beside the sleeping man's bed and stared at his beautiful face for a very long while. Eventually he took a deep breath and began to speak…

"I miss you Gilbert. I know I told you that before, but that doesn't make it any less true. I'm sorry that I gave up on you." He paused, closing his eyes sadly. "Actually, I'm not really. If I was then I wouldn't still be giving up on you. Am I making any sense? Probably not. I'm sorry."

Matthew grabbed Gilbert's hand and gripped it like a lifeline while he stared longingly at the male. He knew he wouldn't, but he wished that Gilbert would wake up.

"I went out with Ivan for, like, nine months. We broke up about a week ago. He cheated on me. It was my fault though, so I guess I have no right to be angry. I should have known anyways… Alfred had started coming over a lot more, and the two of them seemed to have a lot more meetings together… How could I be so stupid?" Of course, as always, Matthew knew there would be no reply from his Gilbert, so he didn't bother waiting for one. He simply kept talking. "So now Alfred and him are officially together I guess. Papa says I should come live with him until Ivan gets his stuff out of my place, but I want to be strong. I mean, I can handle seeing Ivan a few times a day… I should stop calling him Ivan though. Going back to calling him Russia might help me forget about him. I don't even think I really loved him though. Well, maybe I did… I'm really not sure anymore. I don't even know if I love you anymore. It has been 6 years after all."

After that, Matthew didn't speak for a while. He just held Gilbert's hand quietly, trying not to squeeze too hard.

He didn't know how much time had passed since he stopped talking, but something happened that made him gasp. It made tears come to his eyes. It caused him to drop the hand he was clinging too.

Gilbert had said something.

Matthew didn't understand what it was; honestly, he wasn't even sure what he'd heard was speaking rather than a low growl. But it was something, and it was enough to make Matthew press the little button beside Gilbert's bed that had a sign above it labeled If the patient's status changes, please press this button to alert a nurse.