No Luck At All by Eilidh17
Category: Kidfic
Warnings: None
Feedback: If the urge takes you, I'd love it!
Disclaimer: Thanks for letting me play.
No Luck At All
"How many is that, Carter?"
Sam thumbed through the papers on her clip board, mumbling the count under her breath as she turned each page. "Twenty seven, sir," she declared, careful to keep her features schooled in the face of an impending rebuttal.
"Twenty seven! For the love of…" Jack scrubbed a hand down the side of his face and behind his neck, massaging away a knot of stress. "Can this day get any worse?"
"Well," Sam winced and tried to avoid his pleading stare. "If it's any consolation, there are only five more to go."
"Five? Carter, tell me-"
The unforgiving tones of This is the song that never ends from Sesame Street sang out down the hallway, giving Jack pause to thump his knee and direct his scowl towards Teal'c. "That damned door chime was your idea, so you can welcome our next visitor."
One eye brow reaching for the ceiling in a perfect arch, Teal'c cocked his head to the side and moved to answer the door, words apparently escaping him.
"I'm sure this will be the one, sir," Sam mollified as Teal'c escorted Jack's next victim into the lounge room.
"This is Mrs Nolucatal." Teal'c offered a chair to the seventy something member of the blue rinse brigade, and then stared stone-faced as she forced her more than ample body into the less than willing chair.
At his feet, playing with a pile of alpha numerical colored blocks and a plush Barnslig Kamel – courtesy of another of Carter's unwarranted trip to Ikea – Daniel looked up from his musings and flashed his next prospective babysitter a toothy welcoming smile.
Sam giggled nervously, Jack winced as the chair took up the load, and Teal'c, never the nervous type, suddenly discovered he had a hangnail worth chewing on.
"Aw, heck, darlin' aren't you the cutest little button!" Mrs Nolucatal crowed, reaching forward and pinching Danny on the cheek, recoiling in instant horror as he turned his head and sank his only two teeth into her wrist.
"Daniel!" Jack flew from his chair and scooped up his recently 'fed' son, offering the hapless woman a pained smile. "Little vampire! I'm so sorry, he's teething." The excuse sounded as lame as it felt offering it, and Jack tried to ignore the bleeding fang marks the women was painfully rubbing.
A wry smile disguising her horror, Mrs Nolucatal, whispered, "That's okay, honey, happens to me all the time."
"Err, right," Jack drawled back, brow furrowed in disbelief as he hastily added, "Teal'c will show you to the door. Thank you for coming."
"B-But," she stuttered, taken aback, "what about the interview?"
Daniel bounced on Jack's hip, leering at Mrs Nolucatal, a line of dribble trailing down his chin and onto his shirt. "Oh," Jack wiped the drool away with a grimace, "Daniel has a unique way of telling us when someone isn't suitable for the job."
The End