Disclaimer: See my profile
A/N: I've been displeased with the way the show has handled Reid's attitude toward JJ and Emily. I always try to write in canon and he seems to have forgiven them so easily. I decided I had to write my own story to put my mind at rest so I can get back to writing him as he is now on the show. This would take place after The Childhood Hour.
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JJ and Emily entered the elevator, each carrying a bag of goodies they hoped would satisfy the man they'd come to see. They had talked long and hard before their decision and they looked warily at one another now that the moment had arrived.
"You ever been here before?" Emily asked.
"No," JJ replied, "you?"
"No, but I've wondered many times," she got out just as the elevator stopped on the fifth floor. "I guess," she whispered, "I'm about to find out."
"Or not," JJ replied considering the worst case scenario.
They walked down the hallway, their boots clicking on the flooring, until they got to 516. They looked at each other again and JJ nodded to Emily who raised her hand up and knocked. "Maybe he's not home," Emily said as they heard nothing from within, but then the door knob rattled and it opened to reveal their resident genius.
Reid stood there, speechless at seeing Emily and JJ at his door. He didn't look like the Reid they normally saw at the BAU. He wore a pair of black sweat pants and a hunter green and white striped jersey and his glasses. His feet were bare they noticed. "Hi Spence," JJ said brightly.
"Hi JJ, what are you guys doing here?" He asked them.
"We came to visit," Emily replied holding up the bag she carried. "We brought lunch."
"And dessert," JJ added holding up her bag as well as the cardboard tray with three coffees.
Emily in a long red woolen cowl neck sweater over jeans, a black belt around her waist, that matched the boots her jeans were tucked into, tried to look around Reid to get a glimpse of his apartment, "Any chance of us coming in?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Reid opened the door wide and stood aside to let the women in.
JJ wore jeans as well, Reid noted, but hers went over the boots she wore. Her blue sweater was topped with a black suede jacket that belted at the waist and hugged her curves.
Both women paused just inside the door. They hadn't been sure what to expect of Reid's apartment. Just inside the door was a closet and to their right a small table where a dish sat with Reid's keys and cell phone. His messenger bag was tucked neatly underneath.
Reid glanced at his bare feet and then Emily's boots. "Let me guess, tall shaft boots with kitty heels."
"Right as usual Dr. Reid," Emily smiled.
"Would you like me to take your jacket," Reid asked JJ like a cordial host.
"No, that's okay. I'll take it off when we're sitting down. We should eat while things are hot," JJ said holding up the tray of coffee. A hallway led to the rest of the apartment and Reid gestured with his hand for the ladies to enter.
They first came to the galley kitchen and through that they could see the small dining area. JJ headed through the kitchen to the table where she set her things and removed her jacket, placing it around the back of one of only two chairs that accompanied the small table.
From here they could see the rest of the living area. On the back wall of the dining area was a counter height bookcase, mahogany with arched valances, filled to capacity. On the other side of the table leading into the living space was another identical bookcase, double sided, serving its utilitarian purpose as well as acting as a room divider. Beyond that against the far wall was a large entertainment center with a state of the art television, DVD player, CD player, an Ipod, a modest DVD collection and the rest of the space being taken up again by books. A coffee table in the same dark mahogany as the other pieces in the room had been placed in front of the beige corduroy couch that faced the television. Matching end tables to the coffee table sat on both sides. These too had shelves taken up with books. It seemed wherever Reid was in his apartment, he was never far away from a book. A chair matching the couch sat at a right angle to it on the left. The back wall against the kitchen had another three bookcases. In the far corner was an L shaped desk with a computer, a lamp and many papers on it. The most surprising thing was the wall that was part of the hallway. Against it sat a piano keyboard under which was a round stool. Rust and beige striped drapes were pulled open revealing the doors that led to the balcony just beyond the dining area allowing the autumn sun to stream into the room. They wondered if Reid ever went out there. There was no furniture to indicate if he did.
This apartment served a purpose, Emily thought. It was a place for Reid to sleep, eat, read and work. There weren't a lot of personal touches.
It seemed JJ had been thinking the same thing. "This place needs a woman's touch Spence."
"Why, you're the first women who've ever been here?" Reid rolled his desk chair across to the table that was barely big enough for the three of them. "It's nice that you brought me lunch, but why are you really here?"
"We need to talk," Emily said as she opened her bag and pulled out a ham and Swiss on white for JJ, a chicken salad for herself and a Philly cheese steak for Reid. "Oh, and I didn't forget the fries."
JJ handed out the coffee. "Emily and I don't think we handled things very well with you after she came back and we want to do whatever we can to straighten things out between you and us." She paused for a moment and looked pleadingly at him, "If we can."
"Let's just eat," was all Reid said.
They began eating when Emily got up and went over to the bookcase against the wall. Two framed pictures sat on top of it, one at each end. One was of Reid and a blond woman and the other was of Henry. "Reid, is this your mom?" Emily turned the picture toward him.
"Um hm," Reid got out through chewing on his sandwich. He swallowed and then continued. "One of the staff at Bennington took it the last time I was there. I don't have anything of my mom really in recent years. She's got photo albums from when I was little. Her condition wasn't as bad then and cameras didn't bother her so much. He inclined his head toward the picture Emily held. "Luckily, she was having a good day. It was really a rare opportunity that we got that."
There hadn't been any pictures, she thought suddenly, after his father had left. There hadn't been any pictures of all his graduations, of all his achievements, of all he'd accomplished at such a young age, of him in his cap and gown, proudly holding his diploma. There hadn't been any pictures. Emily swept her hand across her eyes as she looked at the picture and back at Reid. "I think I'm the only one who's never met her or at least seen her. She's pretty."
Reid swallowed again. "I always thought so; she never did."
"That's typical for a woman." JJ said. "We always criticize our looks and I think little boys always think their mommies are pretty. At least I hope…" She stopped and pointed her finger at Reid's book shelf. "You know what would look good in the middle there is that picture that Will took of us at the fourth of July barbecue we had at Rossi's. Didn't you get one? I thought Garcia made one for everyone."
"Yeah, I got one," Emily said, coming to sit back at the table and finish their lunch.
"I got one, and it used to be there but after you," Reid looked at Emily "di… left, I couldn't look at your smiling face anymore. It hurt too much so I put it away."
Emily reached out for his hand but Reid pulled it away. Of course he'd pull his hand away you fool, Emily thought. She looked at the picture of him and his mother; a rare opportunity he'd said. It shouldn't be that way. It shouldn't have to be a rare opportunity to get a picture with your mother. All his life, he'd been abandoned, in more ways than she'd ever realized and she'd just added to it without giving him a thought, just like everyone else in his life.
"Reid, we want to talk to you about what happened," Emily said.
"Why?" he replied indignantly. "Didn't we talk already? JJ made it clear that it was, in no way, her fault that if I hadn't misread her micro-expressions, I would have known that the person I considered my best friend was lying to me when she told me that another dear friend was dead."
JJ opened her mouth to speak but Reid didn't stop. "And you," he looked at Emily, "as much as said if I remained angry you'd end up with another ulcer. Well, sorry for having my feelings. You gave a nice speech about mourning six friends to make me feel guilty for my anger, but you weren't mourning us. You missed us maybe, but I'm sure CheetoBreath here told you we were all fine when you played scrabble. She never led you to believe we were dead."
"I don't know what you want from me. I went to Rossi's. I haven't been ignoring you or erupting into angry outbursts. I've been playing nice so I don't know what you're doing here."
"We know you've been playing nice Reid," Emily said. "We don't want you to feel you have to 'play nice'. We want you to be you. JJ and I both realize what we said to you was unfair. We were both trying to defend the decisions we made but we went the wrong way about it."
"I'm sorry Spence," JJ began. "I never wanted to lie to any of you, but it was strictly need to know. Hotch was the unit chief; he had to know and I was the liaison with State. I wanted to tell you a hundred times but I had to weigh Emily's life, any of the team's lives and our families over disobeying an order and telling you the truth. I just couldn't. I know you think I was being cruel but it was never intentional."
"So what was the little scrabble thing you two had going on? First rule of witness protection, no contact with your former life; you had no problem breaking that rule."
"It was wrong." JJ said. "I never should have done it. I just wanted to know that Emily was okay, that everything I was doing and the hell everyone was going through was for the right reason."
"Don't say it," Emily said when Reid opened his mouth to speak. "Garcia already told us that had she, or any decent hacker, suspected she could have had us in thirty seconds." Emily paused for a moment. "You're right; I shouldn't have turned it around on you and threatened you causing me another ulcer." She reached for his hand again, but this time he didn't pull away. "How many headaches did I cause you?"
"Too many to mention," Reid looked down at the hand that held his. "You've been picking your nails again. You only do that when you're stressed."
"Yeah, well I've been trying to find a way to make up with this friend I wronged."
"Spence, we're sorry that we hurt you, that we betrayed your trust. You, in no way, deserved any of it. I know you find it hard to trust, so this hurts all the more. What we want to know is if there's something we can do to make it right again?"
"I know it's going to take some time to trust us again," Emily continued, "and we're committed to making that happen. We'll even go to counseling together if you think that would help."
"We just want to make it right with you Spence, whatever it takes."
"Reid, I need to use the bathroom," Emily said.
"Just down at the end of the hall," Reid told her.
"You don't have to give us an answer today. Just know that we care so much for you and that never ever stopped."
Emily returned from the bathroom with something flat in her arms. "There were no towels in the bath…"
"Oh damn, sorry," Reid said. "They're down in the laundry. I forgot to put fresh ones up."
"That's okay. I opened the closet looking for one and found this." She turned around the object in her arms. Hotch, Rossi and Morgan stood behind a boulder in Rossi's rock garden, their arms around each other. Garcia and JJ were both perched on the boulder while Reid and Emily knelt in front of them. Reid was behind Emily his arms draped around her neck, his hands clasped in front of her. One of her hands rested over his, as if holding them in place. They were all smiling at the camera. Her eyes pleaded. "I was wondering if we could put this…"
Reid took the photograph from her and over to the bookcase, placing it between the other two pictures. "… Back where it belongs."
He glanced back at JJ and Emily as his fingers briefly lingered on the framed photograph. His wish that somehow they could go back and everything would be the same was futile. Reconciliation had been made with two friends, but trust, that was truly fleeting and hard to recapture, but he would try for the sake of these friendships, which he valued more than anything else in his life.
He felt a smile creep onto his lips. "Yes…" He repeated. "Back where it belongs."