Title: Guilt
Rating: PG
Pairings: 1+2+1
Warnings: Sappy, Christian views on homosexuality, angst, very short, what to me seems like a very OOC Sister Helen, but you can decide for yourself.
Disclaimer: Nope.Don't own anything -_-;;
/../ flashbacks
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Duo lay awake in the dark, his brow knit in thought, fingering a small golden object that hung around his neck, as it had since he was a child.
He managed to smile a bit as he felt his lover, lying next to him in their large bed, grab his braid in the middle of some dream or another. A nightmare most likely, he deduced as he saw the pale forehead scrunch with the intensity of the dream.
They would always have nightmares. Some were worse than others. They didn't seem to be so bad now that they had found happiness in each other, but they would never completely vanish. They were used to them by now though. The past would always come back to haunt them. Duo stared at his love as his own came back now.
He reached out to caress the face of the sleeping man next to him but before he could, the face of his surrogate mother, sister Helen swam before his eyes. She seemed to be reading something.
/And man shall not lie with another man as with a woman, it is an abomination. /
His hand stopped and he let out a soft, choked sob as Helen's words came back to him. Why did this always have to happen? Caught up in his memories, his eyes unfocused, he did not notice the closed eyes in front of him slowly open to look at him.
/Well that's stupid! I mean, it's not like you can control who you fall in love with./
Another voice..so calculating..he remembered it well. It was his own, questioning and doubtful that a person could control something as elusive as love. He didn't register the slight movement of the body next to him in the bed.
/Duo, love, It's true that you cannot control who you fall in love with, but to fall in love with another man.it is a false love, a lie. And to act upon it, why.a perversion.God would never allow it. /
Duo felt wetness on his cheek and he closed his eyes. Bowing his head he lowered his hand and allowed the long avoided tears to fall.
/Someday Duo, you will fall in love with a nice girl, and you'll needn't worry about this. I'm only telling you this because if you ever do think that you should love a man as you would a woman, you must realize that it is a work of the devil, it can be overcome./
Duo let out another sob but suddenly felt soft fingers on his cheek, wiping away his tears. He allowed a little gasp to escape his lips as his eyes shot open.
Soft cobalt eyes gazed at him lovingly through the darkness as he felt strong arms surround him and pull him close in a warm embrace. Burying his face into the sturdy shoulders, Duo shut his eyes tightly once again and allowed himself to really cry for the first time since he was a young child, as the guilt from his past wracked through his body.
/But I know you'll never end up like those poor men Duo, I know you'll be able to see through the devil's illusion../
Duo sobbed even harder. What if all of this was only an illusion? He pulled away from the warm body in a moment of doubt but the unyielding arms kept him from straying to far. He then felt soft lips over his eyelids, kissing away the tears before they fell. The same lips found his forehead, and both of his cheeks gently and lovingly.
Sighing a bit, he returned his lovers embrace, putting his arms around the thin waist and locking them there.
Sister Helen's voice grew fainter as he felt Heero continue to kiss his face and neck gently, while smoothing his hair in a smoothing gesture.
Her painful words came only brokenly now, barely registering in his mind as his lover continued the gentle ministrations.
/..a lie../
Duo opened his eyes and gazed into the blue depths that never strayed from his face once, always filled with love and trust..not hiding anything.
How could this be a lie?
/..a perversion../
Duo felt how soft and careful the ministrations were. It wasn't unresolved tension, no selfish lust; just simple concerned comfort..and love..
Eyes now dried, he smiled gently at his lover and placed one of his hands over the soft cheek of the face in front of him. In silent thanks, he kissed him lightly on the lips and nuzzled his neck contentedly. He fell asleep quickly, wrapped in Heero's arms, his guilt silenced and forgotten..
This cant be wrong..
~Owari
I started this after reading something about Christian views on homosexuality. I don't see Helen as ever making Duo feel this guilty, but this was my way of expressing something of what I feel on what is an unfair assumption about homosexuals. I hope you can forgive me for venting and I'll get back to my other stories now ^_^;;
Rating: PG
Pairings: 1+2+1
Warnings: Sappy, Christian views on homosexuality, angst, very short, what to me seems like a very OOC Sister Helen, but you can decide for yourself.
Disclaimer: Nope.Don't own anything -_-;;
/../ flashbacks
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Duo lay awake in the dark, his brow knit in thought, fingering a small golden object that hung around his neck, as it had since he was a child.
He managed to smile a bit as he felt his lover, lying next to him in their large bed, grab his braid in the middle of some dream or another. A nightmare most likely, he deduced as he saw the pale forehead scrunch with the intensity of the dream.
They would always have nightmares. Some were worse than others. They didn't seem to be so bad now that they had found happiness in each other, but they would never completely vanish. They were used to them by now though. The past would always come back to haunt them. Duo stared at his love as his own came back now.
He reached out to caress the face of the sleeping man next to him but before he could, the face of his surrogate mother, sister Helen swam before his eyes. She seemed to be reading something.
/And man shall not lie with another man as with a woman, it is an abomination. /
His hand stopped and he let out a soft, choked sob as Helen's words came back to him. Why did this always have to happen? Caught up in his memories, his eyes unfocused, he did not notice the closed eyes in front of him slowly open to look at him.
/Well that's stupid! I mean, it's not like you can control who you fall in love with./
Another voice..so calculating..he remembered it well. It was his own, questioning and doubtful that a person could control something as elusive as love. He didn't register the slight movement of the body next to him in the bed.
/Duo, love, It's true that you cannot control who you fall in love with, but to fall in love with another man.it is a false love, a lie. And to act upon it, why.a perversion.God would never allow it. /
Duo felt wetness on his cheek and he closed his eyes. Bowing his head he lowered his hand and allowed the long avoided tears to fall.
/Someday Duo, you will fall in love with a nice girl, and you'll needn't worry about this. I'm only telling you this because if you ever do think that you should love a man as you would a woman, you must realize that it is a work of the devil, it can be overcome./
Duo let out another sob but suddenly felt soft fingers on his cheek, wiping away his tears. He allowed a little gasp to escape his lips as his eyes shot open.
Soft cobalt eyes gazed at him lovingly through the darkness as he felt strong arms surround him and pull him close in a warm embrace. Burying his face into the sturdy shoulders, Duo shut his eyes tightly once again and allowed himself to really cry for the first time since he was a young child, as the guilt from his past wracked through his body.
/But I know you'll never end up like those poor men Duo, I know you'll be able to see through the devil's illusion../
Duo sobbed even harder. What if all of this was only an illusion? He pulled away from the warm body in a moment of doubt but the unyielding arms kept him from straying to far. He then felt soft lips over his eyelids, kissing away the tears before they fell. The same lips found his forehead, and both of his cheeks gently and lovingly.
Sighing a bit, he returned his lovers embrace, putting his arms around the thin waist and locking them there.
Sister Helen's voice grew fainter as he felt Heero continue to kiss his face and neck gently, while smoothing his hair in a smoothing gesture.
Her painful words came only brokenly now, barely registering in his mind as his lover continued the gentle ministrations.
/..a lie../
Duo opened his eyes and gazed into the blue depths that never strayed from his face once, always filled with love and trust..not hiding anything.
How could this be a lie?
/..a perversion../
Duo felt how soft and careful the ministrations were. It wasn't unresolved tension, no selfish lust; just simple concerned comfort..and love..
Eyes now dried, he smiled gently at his lover and placed one of his hands over the soft cheek of the face in front of him. In silent thanks, he kissed him lightly on the lips and nuzzled his neck contentedly. He fell asleep quickly, wrapped in Heero's arms, his guilt silenced and forgotten..
This cant be wrong..
~Owari
I started this after reading something about Christian views on homosexuality. I don't see Helen as ever making Duo feel this guilty, but this was my way of expressing something of what I feel on what is an unfair assumption about homosexuals. I hope you can forgive me for venting and I'll get back to my other stories now ^_^;;