At least in her dreams she could pretend. He was hers.
Cold white snow had already fallen though it was already to late for Christmas day with it being January the 3rd , nevertheless it still let many people come out of there warm homes to enjoy the wonderful picture.
The scene you would expect out of a fairy tale. The story your mothers would sigh to you as you steadily fell asleep. That you would eventually shake your head at and smile at as you got older. Places you could imagine you controlled that only you was suppose to command at your pretty little fingertips,.
But I couldn't.
He was there always. Ever since my first year at Hogwarts , I ended up creating my first life-size mistake. Because of it I was haunted by him ever since.
I never told anyone, how could I how could I tell someone he still played with my mind that he haunted my dreams every breath I took. That Tom riddle. Voldermort had me in his palm.
No it was buried deep within my navy blue ink stained soul and it would stay there. Forever.
I consciously rubbed my freezing bare hands against my skin as goose bumps began to form . The cold wind creating low wolf like howls . It didn't feel like Christmas had just gone it felt more like Halloween was coming. Frowning I glared at the gravel resting next to my worn shoes. Only to drag my eyes away moments later.
I couldn't win a staring contest with the floor could I?.
Slowly I slipped my gloves on. Thick dark material covered my hands that I thought of as a form of protection seeing as I didn't put it on because it was cold.
Shifting on the wooden mossy bench that I was sat on I turned to look at the frosty bare branches hanging unmoving on trees in the park. They looked dead. Checking from the white branches to the think wet trunk leading to the snow covered ground were possible in a few months spring grass would grow. They were obviously boring seeing is I wasn't really a nature girl, except I didn't care. Gazing back down to my lap . I sighed. Upon seeing my fingers again I began twittering them.
Getting lost in the blurry movements I wondered if I was ever made to have a fairy tale ending that stayed happy. Tilting my head to the side I gave a one sided smile. No I thought I wasn't made too.
It was all gone now thanks to Tom.
How was it that someone with a normal name a name many had could be so evil so cruel? it just felt wrong as if it wasn't meant to be. It was ironic wasn't it? The one person behind true horror was always the one you would least expect.
Maybe that's the reason your hurting so much?. A little voice whispered. I looked back at my lap. He used you like everybody else, your was just another little pawn in his game. I clenched my fists. If only I had seen what would happen. If only I hadn't been so weak.
Hearing aged laughter I looked up, simply to see a elderly couple holding hands. The woman's silvery hair pulled into a tight bun, bringing out the dark colours of her shaking outfit, as she laughed as something funny her lover said.
My heart sank. Would I ever share that with someone special,?. I hoped so but somehow I always felt like I had my chance and that had already been taken away, with or without my consent. I had sometimes thought if Harry could be my soul mate but as soon as the thought had come it was squashed. He wasn't and we both knew. We where both too different.
"Tom" I whispered .I lump formed in my throat. Could he be my happy ending.
I squeezed my eyes shut in pain. Feeling as I would brake at any instant. How absurd and childish.
But how many times have your thought about it?. That studied little voice crossed me again.
How many times had you lain awake at night twirling your hands in the air imagining his finger tips in yours as you whispered secrets to one another.
My soft doe eyes burned beneath my eyelids. I swiftly got up crossing my hands over my chest for warmth I began to walk the long cold way home. I didn't want a brake down in public. I wanted to brake in my home. Safe and comforted Clutching my bed sheets as tears streamed down my face howling out my pain at the emptiness I felt.
It seemed like I could feel the Grey clouds looming over me, laughing at what I'd become. How miserable I was. How pathetic and weak I truly was. How I had become I Gryffindor I'd never know.
turning around the corner ignoring everything ,I tried to concentrate on how wet the floor was or how many cracks were imprinted into the splabed floor, but nevertheless that still didn't tear me away from the fact I had loved him and with out a doubt always will, no matter how many times I replay him leaving me to die in that cold chamber. Vulnerable, as well as sick with betrayal. Or maybe love. I couldn't remember.
It never seemed to seep all the way through. Knowing he had left me. I knew it never would,. My chest ached painfully. Gods how I missed being a naïve innocent little girl, how I'd would engrave to him in his diary .That my eleven year old mind didn't register that you wasn't suppose to share your secrets you darkest desires with someone you didn't know, how stupid I was trusting a stranger.
But to her then she felt like she knew everything about him. How mistaken she was.
Ginevra that was the name he had given her something she would always cherish, she had been his Ginevra and he had been her Tom.
That was how it was and in her heart was how it will always be, no matter how many horrible dark deeds he might have forced to perpetrate.
But somehow she new and understood he had used her like a very replaceable girls toy.
It stung every time.
But at least in her dreams she could pretend. Tom Lying next to her in a soft flowery meadow hands entwined as they gazed at the setting sun. The red staining the sky represented there love strongly. Soft grass brushing along there faces in the breeze. And she'd fall asleep against his chest whilst he whispered sweet nothingness in her ears.
She'd sleep knowing. He was hers.
Forever. Forever. She'd be his Ginevra forever. And he.
He'd be her Tom.
Forever.