Chapter 1.

Anya awoke to darkness. Shaking, she sat up and let her eyes adjust to the dark, and once she was decently able to see, she let her feet touch the cold tiles of the floor and walked toward the outside balcony. Pushing the doors open, she gratefully stepped into the crisp, fresh air and took in a deep breath, closing the doors behind her. Slowly, she walked towards the edge of the balcony and rested her hands upon the smooth stone edge.

As she gazed at the beautiful view of the lights of Paris, she tried to calm herself down. She'd had another nightmare. Of course, ever since that night in the cellar in Yekaterinburg, she'd been a familiar acquaintance to the haunting memories of her past replaying over and over in her dreams. But these days, the nightmares were different. These were about Gleb. Now, it seemed that every night she saw the gun aimed at her chest, heard Gleb's cold, cruel words, and felt the tension thick as syrup, her fear, and his anger. The dreams ended with the noise of a gunshot that flashed red in front of her eyes before fading into darkness, and she always awoke to more darkness.

Sighing, she rubbed her hands against her arms to warm herself up. It was chilly but she wasn't ready to go back inside quite yet. She'd never told Dmitry about what had happened with Gleb- she'd seen no reason to, and the words never flowed right in the sentences she formed in her mind. They were too choppy, too distant, never vivid or real enough. So she kept this piece of knowledge to herself, and braved through it each night.

It took a few more deep breaths to calm her, but she was eventually ready to return to the dark. Carefully, she silently opened and closed the doors to avoid waking Dima, then slipped into the sheets next to him. But sleep was not a friend tonight. She fell into restless half-dreams which flashed before her eyes- Gleb, her family, the deafening sound of a gunshot- until she finally awoke yet again, drenched in a feverish sweat.

"Deep breaths, Anya. Deep breaths," she murmured to herself, picking up a shawl and wrapping it around herself. She heard Dmitry stirring and turned around to face him. His hands were searching for her among the sheets, and when they did not find her, he sat up, shaking off his drowsiness. She sat beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Are you alright, Anya?" he asked.

"I just…. had a bad dream," she replied.

He wrapped his arm around her and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"You want to come back to bed?"

She didn't answer, just closed her eyes and cherished his warmth. He placed the back of his hand against her forehead, then shifted until he was staring her in the face.

"Anya, you're burning up." He got up and poured her a glass of water, handing her the glass. The cool liquid was a relief to her scorching throat, and she downed it quickly, her hand shaking from the effort. Dmitry took the glass from her and filled it again, this time helping her drink.

She felt dizzy and weak. Clenching her eyes shut, she tried to clear the images of Gleb from her mind. She was tired, oh so tired, and yet the last thing she wanted to do was sleep.

Dmitry was lighting a lantern. As the burst of light flickered and slowly illuminated the room, she turned away and shut her eyes. It was very bright.

"Anya?" Dmitry asked. He studied her face as she looked at him. "You look terrible."

She felt terrible. She was drenched in a warm sweat but was somehow freezing, and she felt her nightdress sticking to her skin like the residue of sweets that stuck to her fingers.

"I'll be fine, Dima. I'm going to take a bath. Go back to sleep." She didn't wait for an answer, but carefully pried herself from the mattress, grabbed the lantern, and walked into the bathroom. As the light hit the mirror, she was able to get a good look at herself.

Dmitry was right- she did look terrible. Her eyes were drowsy and inattentive and dark circles had formed underneath them. Her face was flushed in blotchy red patches.

Slowly, she dipped a washcloth in the water basin and wrung it out, then wiped down her face and neck. She did not feel any better. Sighing, she walked over to the bathtub and let the water run until it was warm. As she let the water fill the tub, she tried to think of nice, warm thoughts to drown out the pictures the nightmares had burned into her brain, but to no avail.

At last, the tub was filled, and she stripped off her damp nightgown before entering the steaming water. The bath was a relief. Her muscles ached as if she had done something strenuous in the night, and she welcomed the water's soothing heat. Slowly, she scrubbed herself down with soap until she felt cleansed and not so sick.

Standing up, she let the water drain as she wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the tub, then dried herself off and put on clean nightclothes. She was still shaking. The dizziness had also started to return. She quietly exited the bathroom in case Dmitry was sleeping, but she found that he was sitting on the bed, waiting for her.

"You look a little better," he admitted, standing up and walking to her. Brushing the hair out of her face, he felt her forehead once again. "You're still burning up. How do you feel?"

She didn't respond. She didn't know how to.

Dmitry noticed this, he must have, but he chose to leave their conversation behind and started to fluff up the pillows on their bed, making a place for her to lay down. As he did, Anya noticed that he had changed the sheets to a softer, more breathable fabric, which would keep her from sweating quite so much. She let a smile cross her face as she walked toward him and pulled him into a hug. Anya had always loved hugs. They were warm and comforting, and made her feel safe. She tucked her head into his neck and stood still for a moment, not wanting the hug to end.

But it did, of course, and Dmitry pulled away and got back into bed.

"Okay, you need to get some sleep," Dmitry said, gesturing toward her side of the bed. Anya was freezing again, and settled in gratefully against him. He wrapped his arms around her, and finally, she was able to drift easily into sleep.