And so the new and approved version of this story is up :)
'Why can't you just have fun like normal people?!'
She placed her pale hands on either side of her head, plugging her ears, trying to block out the sound of her own mind, yet louder, louder it rang, threatening to rip open her skull with every passing moment, the simple ticking of her clock roared as loud as sirens as it ticked away each second, marking the length of her torment, and adding to it ten fold
Her breathing ran ragged, and it was getting harder, harder to control her ragging emotions, harder to remain calm, to just breathe, force the air into tired and defeated lungs
'Why are you always locked in your dark room, reading all your nasty old books?!'
Hunching forward, her pulse racing, her mind flooded with memories she'd rather forget, memories that haunted her every waking moment, that made her life a living hell
Stop it stop it!
So loud, deafening, screaming, her mind filled with voices overlapping, calling her out on every mistake, her every flaw
'Why do you have to be so creepy?!'
"Shut up!"
The mirror in front of her cracked, tainted black from her magic, was sent flying into her wall, and shattering upon impact, painting her floor with reflecting chunks of light that stared back at her with mocking, reflecting eyes
'What is wrong with you?'
"I don't know…"
'Dude, Raven, what did you do?'
"Just shut up…" Her pleading whisper trembled off her thin lips, yet went unheard under the deafening sound of her own mind
'I've had it with this mystery girl routine!'
It never ended, it haunted her every day, all her errors, all the things he'd so much as uttered to her, repeated, as if a broken record, over, and over, and over. With a sanity already on edge, she knew it was only a matter of time before she sent herself falling
'What is your deal?!'
'I've put up with your insults, and your attitude, and I've had it!'
Beastboy…
'You think you're alone Raven, but you're not…'
"Liar!" She hunched forward, causing her hair to fall over her face, casting a dark shadow on her amethyst eyes as she blinked rapidly to keep tears from forming
Of course she was alone, she was always alone
Nobody loved her, nobody. Not her mother, her father, her 'friends'. At the end of each day, she was alone, and that's what mattered most, because just like her name, she was the night, the darkness that surrounded her. And no one liked the dark.
So wrapped up in her own inner torment, she didn't even notice the first knock, until it became louder, causing her to flinch
"Hey, Raven, are you alright?" Beastboy raked his gloved knuckles on her door.
He waited for what felt like forever, before jumping back slightly as she opened it.
The changeling stood there awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he struggled to find words.
"You haven't come out of your room all day, I was worried." He said, looking at her with concern in his emerald eyes.
"I'm fine." Raven answered bluntly, and tried to close the door.
Beastboy stuck one foot out, effectively stopping it.
"I was just wondering…?" He started, a light blush on his jade cheeks from what, Raven couldn't guess.
"What?"
"If you wanted to go out, for like pizza, I mean."
Raven couldn't stop the small flush that covered her gray skin at the suggestion.
"I'm busy…"
"With what?"
"Spells." She lied, crossing her arms to lean against the doorframe, raising one brow to give her signature look of annoyance in hopes it'd encourage BB to leave.
It didn't.
"Can…Can I join you?" He blushed, once again rubbing his neck.
"What?" Her expression was nothing short of startled, wondering if she heard that right.
He'd never shown genuine interest in her magic before, let alone asked to be a part of it. That part of her seemed to freak all the titans out
"With your spells. I mean." He added
When she didn't reply, he continued, "Robin's with Starfire, and Cy went to see Bumblebee…It's kinda lonely here, you know?"
It's always lonely.
After eyeing him suspiciously for a few seconds, she finally let out what she hoped sounded like a reluctant sigh as she stepped aside
"Come in, then." She entered the almost pitch black room, looking over her shoulder to see if he'd follow
Her room was dark, and Beastboy had a difficult time seeing, expect for the circle she'd laid out of the floor. Five candles, and five books opened in between each.
Raven sat herself in the middle, cross-legged. She slowly began to levitate, trying her hardest not to focus on the other body in the room, but at least now, with someone there, the thoughts didn't return, and she was able to successfully mediate for the first time all day.
Beastboy watched her in aw.
He'd always found her powerful, though he never once made an effort to find out more about her, let alone be in her room.
He sat himself just outside the circle, watching her intensely as she chanted.
After a few moments of silence passed, Beastboy grew impatient, and quietly moved to the pile of books that laid next to the circle.
He grabbed the first leather back book he could, blowing the forming dust off its cover.
"Book of Shadows…?" He whispered as he read, opening it quietly.
Everything was written in a language he didn't understand, strange symbols that gave him an eerie feeling.
"It's in Azarath." Raven answered his unasked question, causing him to look back over his shoulder, startled.
He hadn't even noticed she stopped
"Oh…Sorry." He grinned sheepishly, closing the book.
She sighed, getting up from where she was to walk over to him.
"It's my native language." She held out her hand out to him, and he placed the hardback in it, the young alien finding her seat next to him
Beastboy watched as she waved her glowing black hand over it, causing the words to change, forming sentences in English.
"It's a book of spells my mother gave me." She smiled a bit sadly at the memory.
Beastboy leaned into her, his full attention on the book in her lap.
"All the simple spells, soft and easy magic. It's an opening used to teach the basic levels. There are things in here even you can use." Her smile became a little more playful, though it could barely be seen on her lips
"I can use? But, Raven, I don't know magic."
"You don't have to…" She answered. "Charms."
"What's a charm?"
She was secretly happy that he was willing to learn anything for her, anything about her, so, she continued, just a little, to allow at least someone to know.
"It can be different things." She answered. "For you, it's placing of your energy into an object. Anything with a life force can use some magic."
"And this book teaches you how?"
She nodded.
"Dude! That's so cool!" Beastboy yelled, causing her to flinch at the sudden volume.
"You…you think so?"
"Yeah!" He leaned in more eagerly, urging her to tell him more.
"There are different types of charms." She continued, waving her left hand and causing the book flip to the page she wanted. "Luck, protection, money, and love…" She blushed slightly as she touched the ratted pages.
"Wow…"
"Would…you maybe…want to make one?" she asked
"Definitely!" He smiled. "Can I borrow it?"
Raven shut the book quickly, holding it to her chest, staring at him.
At the most, she was hoping to create something small and meaningless inside the comfort of her room, but to trust it to him, well, the idea was a little bit frightening
Beastboy's smile dropped, causing Raven to look down at the hardback, running her thin fingers over her mother's gift.
"You…you promise, to take care of it, right?" Raven asked quietly, her purple eyes never leaving the cover.
"Of course. I promise." Beastboy replied, placing one hand on his chest and holding the other up
She was hesitant for a few seconds, before nodding and handing the old book off to him; he gently took it in response
"Well, I'm gonna go…read it." He stood, and she watched him as he walked out of her room.
Once again, she was alone.
Okay so this was a lot of fun to write, and I'm better than I was at the time I first published this story (at least I like to think so)
I also have gotten back into the Teen Titans fandom (real Teen Titans, none of that Go! shit) and I noticed while rewatching most episodes that I was going a little out of character for Raven, because she's just a giant ball of sass and I was writing her off to be some shy and sweet girl, which, isn't the case, even if she has feelings for bb (and she totally does, don't even trip) she would be so...well submissive (headcanon, her and bb would struggle for dominance in everyday activities)
THIS STORY WILL DIFFER SLIGHTLY BECAUSE OF THE CHANGE IN THE WAY I ORIGINALLY PORTRAYED RAVEN
Reviews are welcome, but due to some trolls they'll be monitored and I ask kindly that you don't ask for longer or quicker chapters, because I'm one of those writers that become stressed at that, and it is actually counter productive if you actually want them, because I can't write when stressed
Anywho, please let me know if you like this version better, and thank you for taking the time to read this story of mine
Oh, to address something else, I will be keeping the AN, because they're fun and I like to add my voice to my stories, reading them is entirely opitional though nothing important goes here unless it's in all caps