Fourth installment in the Academy AU series, please read "Demolishing Bridges", "Adjust Accordingly" and "Finally Faded" first to understand.
Steel Yourself (Part Four of Academy Team AU)
The agent Grant had killed was named Baylin. Garrett never told him or brought the incident up, but Grant found out anyway. After the cadets returned from the holidays, one of his classmates in Operations was taken aside and then had a public breakdown in the hallway. Agent Shade informed her that her older brother who was stationed at the Hub had been shot dead.
The girl had the same eyes as Baylin, too, and every time Grant saw them, it felt like they were searing their accusations into him.
Skye had pestered him about what caused his "epic freak out" at first, but Grant had made excuses and eventually she had given up. Grant was sure she had not forgotten though, and he knew it was only a matter of time before she confronted him again.
He was trying to forget though. He avoided Baylin's sister at all costs and was working to repress the memory. He had done it a thousand times before and knew from experience that if you really wanted to forget something, eventually the memory dimmed with time. It never truly disappeared, but it became manageable.
Everything was manageable ultimately, even the things you never thought you could endure became easier with time.
The first time he killed a deer for food in Wyoming, it had taken four hours for him to skin and cook it. The long time was because his hand trembled so powerfully that he accidentally cut himself with his own knife. Twice. And that was not even getting into the way he threw up when he first dug into the animal with the blade. But by the time he left the woods, Grant could hunt, kill, skin and cook a deer in under an hour.
Give it time, become accustomed and adapt to the circumstances. Grant knew as long as he followed those directions, he could survive and acclimate to anything. Like he said, everything was manageable eventually.
Grant just had to not dwell on the past and focus on how he was going to transform himself into someone who did not pathetically fall apart when he killed an enemy. Garrett expected better of him, and so did Grant.
Knowing all that did not change the fact that the sinking feeling in his stomach whenever he caught a glimpse of Baylin's sister reeked of guilt. It was stupid to feel guilty, Grant had done what he had to, right?
Something else was bothering him, and she had brown hair, brown eyes and an annoying ability to get under his skin.
Grant had been trying to find a way to create distance between the two of them. Ever since he showed up in her room and they spent Christmas together, things had changed. He could still remember letting her soft breathing lull him to sleep as she nuzzled into his chest.
The level of affection was something he had never experienced- and that level of trust was something he was becoming increasingly aware he did not deserve.
Before, his main concern about getting closer to Skye was how it would affect him, how disappointed it would make Garrett and maybe what Garrett would have him do if he found out. Now he was starting to wonder if he had it all wrong. Skye gazed up at him with such warmth that it unraveled his carefully construed defenses, but what would her eyes speak if she knew that she was comforting a killer?
Skye had no idea who he really was. She did not know the things he had done, not just to Baylin or with Garrett but Thomas and Christian… He hoped she would never find out. He did not know if he could bear it if her eyes took on the look of revulsion that had followed him around his childhood.
She would never understand. No one ever did. No one ever believed.
Except Garrett, Garrett had known and believed him. He never doubted what Christian and his parents were or what they had done. Better yet, he had opened Grant's eyes to the fact that he was letting them do it by allowing them to control him. He needed to be stronger to keep from getting screwed with, and now he was. The way to keep from being weak again was to not refrain from getting attached.
If only he could hold onto that conviction whenever he saw Skye.
Skye maintained that it was not her fault. She had just been minding her own business when one of the Operations bullies decided the Comms students were fair game to mess with.
And Skye was not one to let injustice go by unchecked.
She had once again been sent to teach an Operations class how to ensure a computer was secure. She had once again been forced to put up with stupid questions and stupider looks of incomprehension. She had once again had to deal with Alice, Wallace and Justin who had almost gotten her in trouble last time.
She was already in a bad mood when this one guy started bothering Alice. He obviously thought he was a big shot who could do whatever the hell he wanted because he would not take no for an answer. Every time Alice tried to go to another student, he would grab her arm and pull her back.
"Where are you going, sweetheart?" He wondered in a soft voice as if he were trying to be gentle. Really, he just sounded creepy.
"I need to help the other students," Alice tried.
"Let the other nerds take care of it," he reasoned.
Skye could hear their conversation because she was helping the kid right behind them. She had been forced to listen about how his father was this amazing SHIELD specialist who had worked with the greats.
Skye was not impressed. Every name he dropped was someone on Coulson's speed dial. Alice was not impressed either, and he started to notice. That was when his tone became harsher, and his grip on her arm grew tighter.
By the time Alice said, "Please stop, you're hurting me," Skye had had enough.
"Let her go," she demanded as she abandoned her student to get up in his face.
"What did you say to me?" He demanded.
The tool had been sitting down before she approached, but now he stood up to his full height. He was at least as tall as Ward but not as intimidating. If Skye could hold her own against Ward's death glare, she sure as hell could handle this bully's.
"I said let her go," Skye repeated impatiently. "Or is that too hard for your small brain to understand?"
The entire class was staring at them now. Justin and Wallace were pretty much cowering against the wall, and Alice was silently shaking her head no. The Operations cadets seemed more interested in seeing the fallout of her actions than irritated. Skye would guess that the bully had pissed off enough people that they were not inclined to come to his defense.
She noticed none of them came to her defense either, but she was used to no one having her back. It was okay though, she could be her own hero any day of the week.
The bully looked murderous, and Alice proved she was made of sterner stuff than Skye had assumed when she went to intervene.
"It's okay, Skye," she said in a high-pitched voice. "I don't mind Richard's attentions." She stared pleadingly at Skye to take the out, but Skye could not do that, especially not after Alice stuck her neck out for her.
"See?" He said obnoxiously with a smirk directed at Alice. "But now you've angered me, and I'm not letting that go."
Good, Skye was not about to let go either. "Want to take this outside?" Skye asked boldly. The classroom was set up with desks and chairs and not ideal for what she had planned. The hallway, on the other hand, would work just fine. Since she challenged him in front of a full class, there was no way the conceited ass would say no.
He stomped out at once, and Skye let him go first. She did not want him at her back just in case he attacked before she was ready. She followed him out to the empty hallway. As she passed the horrified Alice, she gave her a reassuring smile. Alice was not mollified in the slightest.
The class followed them out, and Skye could not help but think none of this would have happened if there were an instructor in the room. Guess they trusted cadets would not behave like children, which was really a mistake at Operations in Skye's opinion.
Skye allowed the tension to drain out of her as she forced her muscles to relax. She needed him to attack her first for her plan to work because she had to catch him off guard or she would lose her only advantage. He clearly had her beat on strength, height and muscle mass.
She gave the guy a cocky grin, "All that big talk back there and now nothing?"
It worked. He flew at her so quickly that Skye did not even have a moment to wonder if this had been a good idea after all. But she managed to grab his outstretched fist and use his own momentum to propel him forward. Once she sidestepped his punch, she twisted his arm behind his back and kicked his feet out from under him to slam him into the ground.
She noticed that people were gathering in the hallway now as students trickled out of their classrooms in curiosity. Maybe they had been louder than Skye thought. That just meant dozens of people had witnessed her ninja moves. She did not mind showing off, so Skye could admit she was happy about that. The added humiliation for the jerk was just a bonus.
He fell to the floor in a graceless heap. His nose slammed against the floor as he crashed, and Skye saw some blood dripping out of it when he turned to glare at her.
"Oops," Skye said with a shrug and a grin. She was going to thank Ward so much next time she saw him. That was awesome!
When Richard just glared at her from his position on the floor and made no moves to counter, Skye figured he had learned his lesson. Maybe next time he would be less of a tool.
Skye started to walk away. The guy was not dumb enough to attack her in front of thirty of his peers after he had gotten beaten. Skye locked eyes with Alice and was happy to see she looked grateful and overjoyed. Skye began to smile when she noticed Alice's expression twist in dread.
"Watch out!"
Apparently Skye had underestimated Richard's stupidity as well as his cowardice. He had waited for her to turn her back before launching his assault. Skye had just enough time to turn around and throw her hands up to protect her face.
She heard the punch connect but felt nothing. Tentatively, she opened her eyes and what she saw made her gasp. "Ward!"
Ward's cheek was bright red, and Skye was sure he would be sporting a massive bruise tomorrow. He was standing in between Richard and her. As horrified as she was about Ward getting hit, the look of abject terror on the jerk's face when he realized who he had punched was gratifying.
"I-I didn't-" Richard was pale-faced and stuttering now.
Ward looked completely unaffected by the punch. Skye had not heard him utter a noise of pain when he was hit, and even now, Ward was not showing any indications that it had hurt.
But he looked terrifying as he gave a dark smile. He grabbed Richard by the shirt and pulled him close. "You didn't what? Punch me?" Ward mocked.
"I wasn't aiming for you!" Richard declared panicked.
"No, just the seventeen year old with her back turned to you." Ward's reply was viciously delivered, and Skye felt a trickle of unease creep up on her. Ward could destroy the guy if he wanted to, and she felt bad that she had been the one to drag him into this.
"Are you okay?" Ward asked tersely. His grip on Richard's shirt tightened until his knuckles turned white under the force. He was practically vibrating in rage.
It took Skye a second to realize he was talking to her now because he was not looking at her as he spoke. "Yeah," Skye said quickly.
Ward glanced over his shoulder as if to check that she was not lying to make him feel better before shoving Richard away. Richard stumbled backwards and almost lost his footing as he scrambled to put more distanced between Ward and him.
"Come near her again, and I'll know," Ward said to him with a sneer.
Skye darted forward and took his chin in her hand to inspect his injury. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have-"
Ward pulled away with a shrug, "It's fine. Don't worry about it."
"No, it's not," Skye said. "You got hurt because of me."
Ward glanced around quickly before muttering lowly, "I could have blocked that punch if I wanted to."
"Then why?" Skye wondered in a whisper.
"Because we need evidence that he's the perpetrator," Ward said with a nod towards an instructor making her way through the crowd.
"What's going on here?" She said.
"I want retribution!" Richard exclaimed loudly. Wow, he really learned nothing. "I demand punishment for the attack on me!"
The instructor frowned as she looked at the three of them at the center of the crowd. She looked suspiciously at Ward, "Ward, you attacked him?" The instructor seemed doubtful, and Skye knew why. Ward was a loner, he did not talk to his classmates much less fight them in front of a crowd.
"No," Ward said emotionlessly. His entire face was devoid of any expression, and it was a little frightening to be honest. "If anything, I would say he attacked me," he added with a gesture to his face.
Now Skye could see why he let himself be hit, but at the same time, it made no sense at all. Why would he purposely allow someone to punch him? Skye was suspicious of authority, yes, but she still never would have assumed that she would need to let someone noticeably mess her up to prove she could have been hurt. That was crazy. He acted like getting punched was no big deal at all!
Skye bit her lip as she remembered his dazed confession that his mother used to slap him around and wondered if maybe it was something he was used to. That was terrible, no one should ever grow accustomed to being hurt.
"No," Richard said. "It was her!" He pointed at her even though Ward was still standing between them.
The instructor's brows furrowed as she took in the accusation. "And who are you? You're not one of my students."
"I'm Skye," she said as confidently as she could. "I'm a freshman Communications cadet. Agent Littman sent me over here to teach a lesson on computers." Skye wondered if she should mention the way Richard had been harassing Alice, but she did not have time to consider adding it before the instructor reacted to her words.
"A Communications freshman kicked your ass? That's the charge you're demanding retribution for?" The instructor scoffed as she turned an incredulous look towards Richard.
For his part, Richard looked like he just realized what he had said and that he did not think that one through.
"You're just asking to wash out, aren't you?" The instructor said disgusted. "Get out of here, cadet, and hope I don't bring up your gross incompetence to your father."
Richard was gone before Skye could let out a sigh of relief.
"That goes for all of you," the instructor continued as she turned to the spectators, "Get back to class."
Skye wanted a chance to talk to Ward before she left but did not want to risk getting in trouble. She went to return to Alice and the others, but the instructor's voice stopped her.
"Not you, Cadet Skye. You and Ward hang back a minute."
The hallway cleared out quickly, and Skye smiled reassuringly towards Alice and promised she would meet them at transport. She hoped she would anyway. Maybe the instructor was actually angry with them and was going to call up Coulson…
"What really happened?" She asked when everyone had left.
"That guy Richard-" Skye began before the instructor held up a hand to stop her.
"No, I know what type of person he is. I have no doubt he had it coming."
"Then what do you want to know?" Ward asked, skipping to the point as per usual.
"How you got punched for one? And maybe you could tell me why you were involved to begin with. It's not like you to insert yourself in someone else's conflict."
"Skye's my teammate in the inter-academy groupings," Ward answered. "Agent Weaver said that we're supposed to treat our teammates as if they were under our protection and like their lives depend on us, to build bonds of community and work as one cohesive unit."
It was the perfect answer. No way could the instructor get mad at Ward now. At the same time, it kind of sounded like bullshit to Skye.
The instructor assessed Ward's sincerity for a moment, but Ward's face was clear of any signs of deception.
"Okay, Ward. Head back to class," she ordered.
He gave one last look to Skye before following her command. Skye wished he could have stayed longer.
Once he was gone, Skye felt some of her bravery abandon her. "Am I in trouble?" She asked. She really did not want to let Coulson down or get kicked out.
"No," the woman assured her. "Though I do wonder where you learned the moves to floor an Operations sophomore."
Skye said nothing. The one condition Ward had before he agreed to train her was that she could not tell anyone about it. All he said was that it would go badly for him if anyone found out what they were doing. Skye would not betray him.
After a moment of silence, the instructor nodded to herself as if Skye had just confirmed something for her. "Go back to your group."
Skye let out a big breath of relief, "Thank you."
By the time Skye returned to Communications, she was being labeled a hero. Alice had texted ahead and told everyone what she had done, and apparently Comms students thought it was awesome that someone stood up against Operations and won.
It felt pretty cool to be a hero. Skye was kind of glad that Ward pushed her so hard in training- not that she would ever tell him that.
For Skyeward Month Day 4 prompts "memories", "trying to forget", "showing off", "what they become" and "guilt".
This one's much lighter than the previous one, but the angst will be back soon. Also, Know Your Enemy is making great progress (this is helping with my writer's block) and should be posted soon-ish.
Please let me know what you think :)