Jesse's fingered played at the hem of Rachel's shirt and he started to pull it up. Usually, Rachel pushed his hands back down, but for once she let him continue. He smirked into their kiss and Rachel pulled back long enough to laugh lightly and let the shirt go over her head. He leaned away from her.
"What?" She asked.
"Nothing. Just admiring the view." He smirked again, and she looked up at him. She tried to sit up on the bed but he lightly pushed her back down. "Rachel, you're beautiful, just let me look at you."
"How about you do more than look?" She tried to sit up again but he wouldn't let her.
"What happened to the shy little virgin from high school?"
"She got impatient," Rachel said and she finally managed to kiss him again. He didn't stop her this time and they got back into the heated make out session. She unbuckled his belt and helped him push his jeans off his legs.
.*&*.*&*.*&*.*&*.*&*.*&*.*&*.*&*.
Sunlight filtered through his apartment's windows. He was so lucky to have snagged this beauty while she was up on the market. And he was luckier to have snagged the beauty lying next to him. On his bed. In his apartment. By his side. Jesse St. James was the luckiest man alive. And I have to fortune of being Jesse St. James. He thought to himself. First Broadway, now Rachel Berry. My life just gets better every day. He looked back over her sleeping body. It was mainly covered in his duvet, but it was beautiful. Flawless.
He lightly touched her arm. She didn't wake up, but she shifted slightly. Is that a tattoo?! How did I not see that last night? Maybe that's why she never let me look at her body. His eyes read and reread the four letters over one of her lower ribs. Finn. He reached out and ran his fingers over it. He watched as her eyes started to flutter open and he quickly withdrew his arm.
Rachel pulled the covers up to hide.
"There's no need to do that." Jesse declared. "I stand by what I said. You're beautiful. And you loved Finn."
"I did." Her face was unreadable. Which it had never been before. "There's no point denying it. I loved Finn. But I think I love you now."
"You think?"
"I don't know. I never knew I loved Finn until he died. I'm not letting the same thing happen to you. I think that means I love you, right? That I won't let you die? That I'd rather die than even entertain the thought of you dying?"
He didn't respond. "Come on, Jesse." The diva was pleading. Begging him to understand. Even just a little bit. He shifted slightly, to sit up straight. His face remained expressionless.
"Jesse, do you remember the first song we sang together?" A slight nod, barely noticeable, but in the silent apartment where just the creak of a mattress seemed to be piercing, it was obvious. His voice, chalked full of emotion sung, low and lonely, "I've been alone with you inside my mind, and in my dreams, I've kissed your lips a thousand times. I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello? Is it me you're looking for?"
He paused before continuing. "I can see it in your eyes; I can see it in your smile… you're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide. 'Cause you know just what to say, and you know just what to do. And I want to tell you so much: I love you." Rachel flew through a scale before Jesse continued, "I long to see the sunlight in your hair." Neither of them were expressionless anymore, both of them pouring their souls into the words, letting Lionel Ritchie say what they could not. Rachel couldn't help but notice his eyes were closed.
"And tell you time and time again, how much I care." Rachel tried not to cry and reach out for him.
"Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow… Hello, I've just got to let you know." Their voices came together in perfect harmony, falling into that easy push and pull that they had that first day, back in a small music store in Lima, Ohio.
"'Cause I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you?" Rachel had been studying the pain that had started to cross Jesse's face during the first line and saw the solitary tear that rolled down his cheek.
"Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying: I love you." While singing the three most important words on Earth, Rachel reached out and wiped away his tears, ignoring her own. He leaned into her delicate touch. "Is it me you're looking for?" No one could miss how Jesse's voice cracked. "'Cause I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you?"
When Rachel started the next line, Jesse was slightly off beat, but caught up on the final word, "Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven't got a clue."
Rachel's tears were streaming down her face and Jesse's eyes were still shut. "But let me start by saying… I love you." She shut her eyes on the final verse, and didn't notice how his had opened.
Jesse saw the tears streaming down her face and couldn't help it. He didn't care that he was supposed to be mad at her. He couldn't be. He reached out to wipe away her tears, but pulled his arm back. It was too intimate of a gesture. But he did pull her close. The cliché of her fitting perfectly into his side was enough to make him sigh. He felt her head lean up and he looked down.
"Jesse?"
"Mmhm?"
"I love you." She felt him stiffen up. "Seriously, Jesse. I think I do. It didn't feel weird to tell you I loved you through song, and usually to say such important words, it does, but I don't know, maybe it was just-"
"Rachel-"
"Jesse. I loved Finn. I did. With all my heart. And now, I'm starting to realize that a part of my heart has always belonged to you. But no one can change that I loved Finn. He'll be a part of me forever. You can't change that, however hard you try." She sighed. "I'm damaged goods."
"You may be damaged, but you're still as beautiful, if not more so, than ever. And your voice is amazing, your skills have improved, and right now, you're chasing your dreams. So never say damaged like it's a bad thing. The most damaged people are filled with wisdom."
"Jesse St. James are you becoming a living cliché?" Rachel giggled.
"I think we became a living cliché when I switched high schools for you, after singing 'Hello' with you when we had only just met, in a music store, in a small town, and then we both dropped out of college, only to return, and had the opportunity to co-star on Broadway together, which you turned down, still slightly mad about that, and now we're living together in New York City and achieving our dreams together."
She burst out laughing. "Okay, so I guess we are really cliché. But we don't live together, Jesse."
"Rachel, Kurt and Blaine got another apartment together. Santana is gone for good. There's no reason for you to be that far away from work in that tiny apartment. Alone. When I have a perfectly sized apartment that could reasonably fit both of us."
"Jesse. Are you asking me to move in while we're this early in our relationship?"
"You're rehearsing for a show. So am I. Those are different shows. With different rehearsal times. And complicated schedules. We've barely been able to get some time for just us, and typically it's short and we're both exhausted. And spending the night without changes of clothes being readily available? Come on Rachel. Be smart about this."
"I think you just want me to move in so you can impress me with your breakfast skills like you said you would."
"You know what?" He asked, hopping out of bed. "I'll do that now! Pancakes?" She nodded. "Pancakes." And he started walking away.
"Jesse?" She called out, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. The brunette and stopped and turned. "You might want to put some clothes on. For sanitary purposes."
"Maybe I just won't make you pancakes then. Or coffee."
Rachel gasped dramatically. "Don't you dare threaten me with no coffee! I could just die!"
Jesse rolled his eyes affectionately. She loved Finn. A small voice in his head said as he couldn't help but notice her tattoo again. Yes she did. But she loves me as well. He thought, as he headed to make pancakes and coffee for the girl of his dreams.