The trouble with most villains, Captain Hammer thought, was that they didn't put any effort into it. Didn't put any real backbone into their... villainy. A hero was measured by the calibre of the villains he faced. Where would Batman have been without The Joker to do battle with? Superman without Lex Luthor?
Some of the others in the Superhero Guild were struggling with their profile. Wingspan, in particular, could swoop down and stop the odd heist. But the public quickly got bored with that, as did the press.
Captain Hammer had a lot of respect for the papers.
He felt kind of sorry for Wingspan. It must be hard to increase your rep when you don't have a Nemesis. Most of the potentially-great villains had created their own Evil League - working together they were pretty untouchable. Anyways, they were cowards, always working at a distance. Heck, Time Science Blood Cloud didn't even inhabit the Earth any more. He attacked from orbit.
Now, that just wasn't playing fair.
Of course, Captain Hammer was lucky. He had the coolest Nemesis ever. An honest-to-betsy mad scientist. A guy so old-school that he actually committed all of his crimes in person. A guy keeping it so real that you could get all up-close and physical with him.
And boy could that guy take a punch. Not only could he take a punch, he would actually keep talking while he was being punched! And he'd try to reason with his science-y double-speak. Of course, Captain Hammer would just keep right on punching.
And smiling at the cameras.
So, not only was Dr Horrible by far the coolest active villain around right then, he also had a creepy henchman. And an evil laugh. Which Hammer was pretty sure he'd be practicing.
And he kept an evil computo-diary-thing, which Hammer watched religiously. He got a little worried when some up-and-coming wannabe hero called Johnny Snow tried to get in on the Horrible action. But his fears were quickly doused when Dr Horrible said, quite publicly, that only HE, Captain Hammer, was his Nemesis.
It was enough to give him a boner out of sheer pride.
Now, if only he could keep Dr Horrible out of the Evil League?
He had to keep Dr Horrible down to earth. If the Doc didn't do any crimes, then Captain Hammer couldn't stop them, rescue grateful members of the public and bask in the glory of how incredibly, handsomely wonderful he was.
If Dr Horrible got into the league there would be no more grateful (and hot) members of the public to have sex with. There would be no more adoration from the Mayor. Bascially, there would be no more Captain Hammer.
What he had to do was nurture his Nemesis. Make it personal. Keep his focus on Captain Hammer, not the League.
One day, he quite literally walked in on a solution.
Penny, the latest of many adoring fans to take an interest in what was under his khakis, served the answer to him up on a platter. Well, on a laundry... machine.
Dr Horrible, his nemesis, was just a skinny dude, who did his own laundry. Who did their own laundry any more? Hadn't he even heard of dry cleaning?
Dr Horrible was just a stuttering nerd called Billy, who was in puppy-love with the adoring fan-girl.
Dr Horrible had a weakness he could exploit.
And so Captain Hammer pressed the button that was begging to be pressed and Billy- The Doc, narrowed his eyes, eyes that sparkled with a hatred he'd never seen before.
Captain Hammer made it personal and the bad Doctor blossomed before his eyes.
A hero is measured by the calibre of his Nemesis. And when Captain Hammer walked out of that Laudry Mat and into the sunshine streets of downtown LA, he felt a zing go through him.
Things could only get better from here on in. The Doctor's plans would get more and more elaborate and Captain Hammer would look even more impressive when he defeated him.
Oh yeah, things could only get better.
It was a brand new day.