Title: The Perils of a British Boarding School: First Night Back
Author: lil-miss-chocolate
Rating: NC17
Characters: Kurt/Puck, others mentioned.
Genre: Smut
Warning: Top!Kurt *rolls eyes*
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I may be the puppetmaster, but I'm just borrowing these puppets.
Word Count: 2,350ish
Summary: AU. Kurt and the rest of the boys are students at a British boarding school. An American exchange student starts at the school. Things get interesting.
Author Notes:
This was written for my brain twin, ddrizzle. Because she is awesome and inspires me to stay up to 4am to write porn. English!Kurt ftw!
Yes, Kurt is a lot more comfortable and open with his sexuality here than he was at McKinley, because seriously, have you ever been to a Catholic boys' school?
I would also like to make very clear at this stage the meaning of the word 'fag' in Great Britain. It means either a) a cigarette or b) a younger boy at a public school who acts as a sort of servant to a senior boy (which does not actually come up in this fic, though it might if I turn it into a series). It's not used as an insult over here, and on the rare occasions when it is, it's not considered a particularly bad word.
Kurt's Diary:
Wednesday, 01/09/10
Dear Diary,
It's the first day of term. A new year, a new start (with any luck). Those delinquents Azimio and Karofsky were deemed too stupid to continue into Sixth Form here, thank God. So I'm starting Lower Sixth - A Levels, whoop-de-doo.
Just arrived arrived back and finished unpacking in my new room. We've got six new boys in York House, so with the thirteen who stayed on, plus some American exchange kid who hasn't turned up yet, we've got twenty in the year in York. How do I know the Yank's not here yet? I'm rooming with him. Oh yes, contrary to what they told us last year, Sixth Formers still have to share for one term a year. And I'm sharing with the new kid who can't be bothered to turn up at the right time on the first day.
Anyway, with twenty in the York LVI, according to the stats, I should have a serious chance with at least one of them. Yeah right. One in ten my arse. Least I'll be getting some action from Chang and Rutherford. Still can't believe my dad hasn't figured out that boarding school is not the 'safe, temptation-free environment' the prospectus says. On a side note, I am going to have to tell him that I'm gay soon. If he's worked it out already, he hasn't mentioned it.
After dinner:
The Yank is fit. Seriously hot. He kicked up a right fuss when Mr Skilton made him shave his head though. As if he'd be allowed a hairstyle like that at St Josephs.
Pizza and curly fries for dinner.
The school food system here is ridiculous - they go all Jamie Oliver on the lunches, but serve the same old crap for supper and breakfast and tea.
The American guy is currently leaning out of the window trying to get signal. Not a chance, only places in the grounds you can get signal are the old oak, the apple store and, for some reason, the back of the stage in Old Hall. It's quite entertaining watching him lean out in the rain.
Later:
Took pity on him (his name is Noah Puckerman, but he wants to be called Puck. As if a new kid gets to pick his own nickname). Pointed out the oak from the window, and told him I'd show him the apple store tomorrow. I wonder if I should warn him about the main use of the apple store... nah. It'll be more fun to let him wander in on Hudson getting sucked off by the fly-half.
Fly-on-wall perspective. Later that night. Both boys are in bed.
"Hummel?"
"Puckerman."
"Does the wind always do that?"
"What?"
"Rattle through the windows like that."
"This building is three hundred years old. The windows were last replaced in 1915."
"..."
"Yes, it always does that. Get used to it."
"Fine."
There was a rustling noise, followed by a thump.
"What the hell are you doing, Puckerman? Get back into bed before Matron comes to investigate."
Kurt heard the window open, then the flick and swoosh of a lighter being lit. He sighed.
"Put that fag out. Matron's got a nose like a bloodhound. If you want to smoke, go to the apple store at lunchtime."
"Hummel, do you ever get bored of being a goody two shoes?"
Kurt snorted. "Come off it. I've broken more school rules than you could even dream of. I just don't want them to do the mandatory belongings search that they do if they think you've got fags or drugs or whatever."
"Oh yeah? What have you got hidden?"
"Alright, let me explain something to you." Kurt sat up in bed and turned to face the small speck of light that was Puck's cigarette. "This school is in the middle of fucking nowhere. There are no girls within twenty miles, even if I was that way inclined. So what each guy gets up to in his own bed at night is his own business. Rule of Survival Number One: take whatever you can get. So if you hear the guys next door getting it on, you just roll over and go back to sleep. If you see the rugby team getting off together in the showers, you look the other way. And anything you see or hear me doing with any boys or objects, you ignore. And I do the same for you. If you wank, I don't care. Fuck yourself on the bedpost, bring in a line of Year Elevens, do what they hell you want. I'll just plug in my iPod and pretend I'm not there. Are we clear?"
There was a moment of silence, then Puck addressed the most important part: "There are no chicks at all?"
"Not unless you count Matron, the butchest lesbian ever to walk the earth."
"And you all get off with each other?"
"More or less. Hudson's had the whole rugby team. Chang and Rutherford and I have a bit of a thing going after cricket practice."
"So this is a school of homos?"
Kurt sighed. "Gender matters less when you're horny. Gay, straight, bi - you do what you can to get off."
"Seriously?"
"Shut up for a moment and listen."
"I am-"
"Shut it!" The ferocity of Kurt's whisper silenced him. A faint thumping sound was audible, followed by some low groans. "That's McArthur and Jones. Matron tried to stop them once, but she ran down the hallway in hysterics when she opened the door. Mr Skilton-"
"That's the dickwad that cut my hair."
Kurt dismissed this with a wave of his hand. "He's the housemaster, what d'you expect? Anyway, Mr Skilton did an assembly about appropriate conduct and left them to it."
"They don't even try to stop it?"
"How could they? It's not like they could put security cameras in the showers."
Puck flicked his cigarette butt out of the window and closed it before walking over to Kurt's bed. "So back to my first question: what have you got hidden?" Kurt could hear the smirk spreading across his face.
"You really wanna know?"
Kurt could just about make out Puck nodding in the inky darkness.
"Alright. But I might as well tell you now, this is nothing compared to some of the kinky shit Abrams has got." Kurt opened his bedside locker and extracted three phallic objects, a cardboard box and two plastic bottles, placing them on top of the locker. One of the dildos was glowing. Puck sat on the edge of Kurt's bed as Kurt named each one: "One glass dildo, one vibrator, one glow-in-the-dark. Megabox of condoms, one bottle of vanilla lube, one bottle of plain."
"Shit. You use this stuff?"
"I'd be using that one now if you hadn't started talking." Kurt tapped the glass object. "The glow-in-the-dark one's handy if you're with someone and you don't want to turn the light on. It's a real bitch if you drop it and have to crawl around to find it again. And I didn't want to freak you out too much by using the vibrator on your first night."
Puck tried to take this all in, his mind suddenly having to cope with a world where sex with another guy was no big deal. He kinda liked this world.
"So if I wanted to get off, any guy here would be up for it?"
"Pretty much. You're basically sex on legs to look at, which helps. Though the American accent won't help your case much."
"Would you be up for it?"
"Sure."
"So if I were to..." Puck moved his hand to Kurt's left knee and slid it up his thigh. Kurt's French navy silk pyjamas offered scant resistance.
"Then I would..." Kurt moved his right leg so that he had a leg on either side of Puck and shuffled gracefully foward as he slipped his hand underneath the front of Puck's t-shirt.
"And I..." Puck moved his right hand to the front of Kurt's pyjama bottoms, where he already beginning to get hard. Kurt gasped slightly as Puck's warm hand covered his growing erection. He hadn't had another boy's hands on him since last term.
"Puckerman... before we start, there's something you should know."
"Uh-huh?" Puck other hand had reached around to pull Kurt closer so that he was practically on his lap, and he was leaning down to nuzzle at the pale boy's neck.
"With toys, I bottom. With people, I top."
"Sounds good, babe."
Kurt rolled his eyes at the epithet as he returned to the task at hand. Namely, removing Puck's shirt, then swivelling so that he was straddling the American boy's lap and pushing him down onto his bed. Puck's left hand moved from the small of Kurt's back to the buttons of his pyjamas, fumbling with the silk in the darkness. After a moment of struggling, Kurt muttered "Oh, for fuck's sake," and he swiftly pulled his shirt up and over his head, sitting up as he did so. This had the effect of bringing his erection sharply into contact with Puck's. For a moment, Kurt enjoyed grinding his hips against Puck's, listening to the groans of pleasure it elicited from the writhing boy. Kurt then reached across to grab hold of the plain lube and a condom and slid himself down Puck's legs, depositing the items halfway down the bed. He rapidly pulled down Puck's boxers and discarded them, taking the warm length of Puck's cock into his hand. Kurt could feel the pre-come already at the head, which he used for lubrication as he slowly worked his hand up and down the shaft. With his right hand, he deftly got some lube from the bottle (he'd done this in the dark many times before) and slid his fingers behind Puck's balls.
"Done this before?" he asked as he prepared to push his first finger into Puck.
"Nuh-uh," Puck managed to gasp out, still enjoying the feel of Kurt's hand on his ever hardening cock.
"First timer, eh?" Kurt muttered to himself as he gently pushed in the tip of his finger.
Puck's exclamation of "Shit, fuck, more!" encouraged Kurt as he worked his finger into Puck's tight hole. After a few moments, he added a second lube covered finger.
"Ahh..." was Puck's reaction, followed by the sound of him swallowing hard and growling "More."
Kurt scissored his fingers, making sure that Puck was fully stretched out. He took his left hand off Puck's cock and blindly reached for the lube. When he'd found it, he looked up at Puck. Puck's head was thrown back as he squirmed under Kurt's touch. Kurt added the third finger, sliding and twisting and moving his fingers within the bigger boy. Puck pushed himself down on Kurt's hand, desperate for his fingertips to reach that spot again that they had brushed a moment before.
"God, Hummel..." Kurt's fingers moved in and out of him with practiced dexterity.
"Are you ready yet?" Kurt murmured, his left hand having made its way up to Puck's left nipple by this point.
"I- ohhhhh... yes. Yes. Fuck me."
Kurt grinned to himself as he pushed down his pyjama bottoms with his left hand, removing his right from Puck's hole to open the condom and slide it on (again, practice makes perfect).
"Hands and knees, then, Puckerman."
"Wuh?"
Kurt's right hand slipped back round to Puck's behind as he explained, "It'll be better for you if you're on your hands and knees."
Puck rapidly rolled himself over and pushed himself up. "Hummel, please, just get in me."
"Willingly." Kurt took hold of Puck's hips and lined himself up carefully. "Tell me how it feels." And he pushed in the head.
For a moment, Puck said nothing, unused to the stretch and burn of a cock in his ass. "It feels... big."
Kurt had to use all his willpower to hold himself still. "You want more? If you want me to stop, tell me."
"... Yes... more..."
Kurt pushed forward again, feeling the velvety heat envelop him as he began to pant.
"More..." Kurt kept on moving his hips forward, slowly filling the bigger boy until he was fully sheathed inside him. They were still for a moment, Puck acclimatising to the stretch of Kurt's cock inside him. Then he rolled his hips back, causing Kurt to gasp as the pressure on his cock moved.
"Fuck, Puckerman. Do that again."
Puck obliged, Kurt groaning as he did so. "God..." Kurt muttered." He slid himself back slightly, then pushed straight back into Puck, who moved his left hand from the bed to the headboard.
Puck spoke, "Go for it. Fuck me like you want to."
Kurt did so, sliding in and out of Puck with an ever increasing pace, ramming home each time slightly harder than the time before.
It had been too long since he'd done this, Kurt thought, as each thrust earned another grunt from Puck, "Fuck, yeah." He was not going to last long at all, so he wrapped his hand back around Puck's cock and started making long, firm strokes, determined to bring him off. He could feel Puck's orgasm building as he started to shudder, and the clenching of Puck around him was all it took for him to come into the condom, still buried inside Puck.
Puck slumped down on Kurt's bed, his breath coming hard and heavy. The motion had slid Kurt out of him, and he could already feel the waves of sleepiness rolling over him. Puck buried his face in Kurt's pillow and slept.
Kurt observed this from his kneeling position. The boy was good, but he had no stamina. They would have to work on that. He slid off his own bed, crossed the room and clambered into Puck's. The new boy would have to learn the etiquette of wet spots in other people's beds. Kurt smiled. He was looking forward to teaching this one.