Title: Red Card

Author: angelicmercy LJ

Rating: PG

Summary: A certain angel and a demon go to the World Cup to relax after the Apocalypse-That-Almost-Was and something weird starts happening. The French are arguing, the last champions are quite bad at handling the ball and Lord only knows what is happening with England. Not to mention that Gerard Pique witnessed the descend of Virgin Mary.

Warning: slightslash Aziraphale/Crowley, bloody and beaten football players, misuse of miracles, full of crack (it's a Good Omens meets World Cup, how can it be anything but absolute crack?)

Disclaimer: I don't own Good Omens, national football teams from Spain, Italy, Germany, France, England… You get the idea. =D

A/N: I don't know. I lost it apparently since I'm writing a Good Omens cross over with World Cup 2010. It just happened. But now when I wrote and re-read it, many thing make sense to me! LOL

"Dear, don't you think that perhaps you overdid it?"

"..."

"Don't give me that look, Crowley! What have you done with the Italians?"

"Nothing, oh ye fluffy one. They will be fine. Albeit a little ego bruised."

"…"

"So they are going home. It's not the end of the world."

"…"

"Really, we're here at the biggest sports festival in the world and you are not going talking to me?"

"Very well, I suppose I can get past the fact that you caused havoc to France and Italy teams, but I do not see what England has done wrong by you."

"I don't like their socks."

"…"

"What? I have an aesthetic eye. It has to please me."

"You do realise that's not a valid matter in the judging?"

"Yes, well it should be. I say socks should be pretty."

"…"

"Watch out, your face can stay that way if you keep it too long."

"You are doing it again!"

"What? This is not my fault!"

"Why is Argentina loosing then?"

"Because Maradona is an useless idiot and he's making little Leo look bad?"

"They won each and single game by now and suddenly they are loosing against Germany? Even with the possibility of Maradona lacking any long term experience with running the national team, they have faired well till now."

"What can I say, that Müller kid is pretty good. And Messi misses Pep so much he cries himself to sleep at night."

"Oh dear, Crowley, must you? I'm not stating that he is not good, I'm merely trying to tell you that you shouldn't have messed with the team's goal keeper."

"Oh come, those are the Germans. Besides, it's not like I will really mess with the outcome of the World Cup. I'm just helping the laws of probability come about."

"Just like you tried with Spain and Switzerland?"

"It was a common mistake. I was aiming for the other guy. Not my fault Piqué got in the way with his big head."

"And what happened at the next game?"

"What are you implying? Is it my fault he defends the goal with his crotch?"

"Crowley you are impossible! Really you are, dear. You have to stop harming him!"

"I know, angel. But they are winning anyway so no harm done."

"…"

"Oh you mean you didn't know? Sorry for spoiling it."

"How many times do I have to repeat it, Crowley? Dear, you have to stop messing with that ball and let them play. It's all over the news that the new ball is bad when it's clearly not."

"Oh you are incapable of having fun! Really, how long have you been on Earth, Zira? Over six thousand years and you still can't get the point of fun."

"Dear, you really have to let the teams play fair."

"I could always challenge you to oppose me."

"…"

"Yes, you can miracle it back the way it was. I'm a demon, you're an angel. I'm meant to do bad things and you're meant to do good things. The only difference is that I like doing bad thing while over 15o million people watches it."

"I really don't know why I went along with you."

"Because you love spending time with me and you feel better when you keep an eye on me."

"…"

"Oh is my angel pouting now?"

"Your angel?"

"Erm yes… well. It's not necessary… Alright you don't have to be my angel."

"But I want to be your angel, Crowley."

"…"

"Are you blushing, dear?"

"Oh no. I just… Did you just helped Casillas save the penalty?"

"Yes, though I'm not sure why Piqué says it was Virgin Mary doing it."

"It's 'cause you're blond and very feminine, love."

"See I've told you Spain will win."

"Yes thank you for that, dear."

"Oh don't pout. We'll go to El Clásico next. I bet it will be spectacular."

-the end-