A/N: I was bored out of my mind when I wrote this, it was so late into the night it was more early morning then anything else and I have the feeling I suffered serious brain damage while writing it. Screw me.

AU: Modern/College!AU
Pairing: McKirk
One Shot.

A little bit too much coincidence

When Jim entered college he knew that he had to learn stuff to pass. He knew that, he wasn't THAT delusional but seriously; why was it necessary for him to pass a test about anatomy, of human anatomy, when he was studying physics and engineering?

Well, it had to be a huge, cosmic joke, he was sure about that until his study adviser told him otherwise.

"Kirk, it's just how it is. The way you choose your classes makes it impossible to leave that biology class behind." Mr. Pike told him, sighing and grumbling, because Jim Kirk refused to accept his defeat against the college study system.

"Pike, but biology class is useless-" And the conversation was cut off there because Pike had other things to do, things which would have actual results. even talking to a wall would produce better results then trying to explain to Kirk why he needed to see the biology class.

"Cut it, Kirk. You have to visit the class, take the test and then carry on. Just make sure you don't screw up. And biology class isn't useless; think about all the new people you could possibly meet."

And that had been it.

Jim Kirk, genius in engineering but the hugest failure in biology ever, had to pass an exam about human anatomy. It was all really great.

~...~

When the new year started (Jim's second year studying, god, was he proud of himself), he wasexcited about his engineering classes and about the physics but that wasn't a surprise. That stuff literally fell into his lap and being praised by nearly all his professors, the center of attention of everyone, was paradise for Jim. It was only in Jim's nature to try to get to know that shit of biology, too, to get more people thinking of him as Captain Awesome.

It really wasn't a surprise at all that he failed miserably in biology, though.

The first lecture started and it only took around ten minutes for Jim to zoom out and five more minutes for Jim to understand that he didn't understand a word. The guy in front of the room could have spoken in Chinese and Jim wouldn't have understood better.

After that Jim tried hard to digest all that gibberish of the human body functions on his own; translating Latin words, re-reading a lot, watching movies about bees and flowers and you know what, doing research in the fucking library for hours; only to quit studying and getting that chicks phone number. In the end, his first day of trying to succeed in biology class was a joke.

Jim was near to a break down, actually, when he sat in front of his laptop on his bed in his dorm room, googling and youtubing basics about protein biosynthesis and everything that was involved with that kind of process when he found that forum.

That special forum for people who knew everything about human anatomy and about human body functions and who were kind enough to share their knowledge with the rest of the world.

It saved his ass pretty much because he actually had an idea what the prof was talking about a week later when his next lecture was. Of course, he wasn't near to understand the why's and what's and how's as good as he should but at least it didn't sound like the wrong language anymore.

~...~

So, yes, it was official. Jim Kirk was an idiot.

Because he wasn't able to even understand the question of his homework. He knew the topic and he sure knew that there were words on the paper in front of him, he just had no clue what they could mean. Okay, the words themselves made all the sense words make but their combination was, like, a complicated physical formula- Wait no, if it had been anything like that Jim wouldn't have had any problems getting and solving it. Damn. He was screwed.

It was only logical that he signed in on that forum so he could ask all the gods of biology what exactly he had to do.

"We're here to help, not to make your homework!"

"Nice try, but we won't do your work for you."

"Good god, kid, get your ass into a library and learn the fuck yourself! Stop bothering us with your second grade questions about what your teacher wants from you for fuck's sake! No one needs wimpy questions spilling all over this place!"

Jim had nothing against the first replies, okay, but that last one? Was too much. Firs thing; who the hell did the guy ('Bones' what kind of a nickname was that anyway, anyway?) think he was to call Jim kid, second that person cursed way too much and Jim was sure the admins of this forum didn't appreciate that kind of language and third-

"What the hell is your problem dude, I just asked a question!"

"A fucking stupid one! What are you, a girl in middle school trying to impress her biology teacher by knowing long words?!"

"What are YOU, a sarcastic, self-pitying asshole?!"

"Was that a rhetorical question, kid? And just so YOU KNOW, I'm a doctor and compared to my knowledge you're a wimp."

"Oh and let me guess you're also modest, aren't you."

"At least I'm not a mistaken jerk who hates himself!"

"I don't hate myself, I actually love me quite much 'cause I'm awesome but I definitely hate you!"

"Dito, boy."

"No I really mean it, I HATE YOU."

"I hate you so much I might throw up on you!"

"I'll always hate you one more then you can hate me!"

And that was the point of their conversation when the admins threw them out of the forum and wasn't that fucking fantastic?

Anyway, the thing that happened next was really, really weird because Jim decided to keep talking to the guy who maybe could be the reason for Jim failing class. Maybe it was because they had insulted each other for three days and Jim managed to enjoy it somewhere along the line, maybe it was because he felt lonely lately without any reasons and was way too demotivated to go out or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he already had his fourth beer, that his bed was pretty damn comfortable and it was raining outside.

"Since we're not going to get to bitch at each other anymore on that website, want to exchange phone numbers?"

"What the hell, kid, leave me ALONE." Jim didn't leave the guy alone and with his beautiful skill to research stuff he was actually interested in he figured out that the man had apparently a tumblr account which made things a lot easier for Jim.

"Hey."

"Go away, kid."

"You're nickname is Bones, seriously?" Tumblr was a beautiful resource of information.

"Quit it, boy, SERIOUSLY."

"Nahh, I want to keep talking to you. ...You also need to help me out with biology homework because it's your fault that they banned me from that awesome forum."

"You've gotta be kiddin' me, are you stalking' me now?!"

"Nope, stalking would be creepy. Btw, you're out of milk.."

"What part of FUCK OFF didn't you understand?!"

"Dude, stop being your usual sarcastic asshole self and give me you're number already so I can harass you all day and not just when I'm in front of my computer!"

After 245 more annoying messages (two days, he was a genius) from Jim's side he got the damn phone number.

If someone asked him the effort he made to get it was more then he usually did. When he got it ("Oh my god, did you just send me a photo of your ASS?!" - "Yes I did. And because you didn't give me your number when I asked you to all people on tumblr now know about it." - "For fuck's sake, FINE!") he felt like a child on Christmas, all cheery and happily bouncing up and down. Until then it had been Jim's habit of writing Bones (that's what called Jim the grumpy guy in his head because no one knew the real name, damn) in the afternoon, evening and night when his first class tomorrow started around ten AM; sometimes he even wrote a message to Bones in the morning, while dressing and brushing his teeth.

"Have a nice day, Bones." Was his usual phrase and it never failed to get a reply.

"No day of my life is nice." And really, Bones couldn't say things like that and expect Jim to back out of this, could he? When Jim finally got a grip on Bones phone number, though, he drowned his new found project in SMS.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking of ways to kill you."

"Would you go out with me?"

"I'd rather go to hell, kid."

"What do you like about me most?"

"That you have no clue who I am."

"Aww, you you like me?"

"I never said that."

"But you didn't deny it either."

~...~

"Good morning Bones!" Someone could consider it unfair, sadistic and inhuman that Jim sent that message around 5 AM but he really couldn't help it. He had that almighty need in his fingers to type that SMS and it was worth it to get up that early himself when the reply came.

"If I ever find out who you are I'm going to strangle you and get rid of your body. In case that you don't believe me: I'm a doctor, I know how to dissolve a human body with chemicals." Jim's day was pretty much the most awesome one he'd ever had after that.

They fell into a routine of bickering and bitching, most to nearly all conversations started by Jim who tried to find out as much about that Bones guy as possible. He already knew that the man was a doctor, grumpy and that he hated everything and everyone. Constantly.

The only thing Bones ever sent him of his own accord was a question:
"So, what's your name, kid?"Of course Jim had to answer: "You can call me Captain Awesome. And quit calling me kid, I'm 20." because that was him, okay, he was arrogant and narcissistic like that.

"Sorry, boy, if it's a choice between Captain Awesome and kid I'll stick to kid." Which made them Bones and Kid and that was one of the funniest things Jim had ever heard even if he had no idea why exactly it was so funny.

Somewhere along the line of- whatever it was they had- Jim managed to convince Bones to actually, really help him with biology homework and soon Jim didn't curse the damn class away anymore. He still didn't like it but at least it stopped being a lot of gibberish. Time went on and Jim, being his usual curious self, wondered who exactly Bones was. The man surely knew his way around campus (they figured out that they went to the same University pretty fast) which would make him a higher student in medical classes or a prof. Jim so hoped Bones wasn't a prof.

"Hell no, I'm studyin' in this hell of a school. Need to finish my degree."

"Finish?"

"Yeah. I stopped studying when my father passed away a few years ago."

"I'm sorry."And Jim really was. His father always has been dead; the man hadn't been someone Jim knew because his dad died when he was born and sure, it sometimes hurt that he never got to know him but then, loosing someone you actually loved and losing someone you never got the chance to love were two totally different things.

"Stop being a wimp, kid, get your stupid homework done. And STOP TEXTING ME AT 1 AM!"

"I wish you a good night and sweet dreams, too!"

"Good night, sweet dreams, my ass."

~...~

If Jim had known that he would fall down the stairs in the academy building he would have stayed in bed.

"Shit." Was all he managed, sitting on the ground, his books and content sprawled across the floor. His head hurt from the swirling around, his wrists from catching most of the fall but the worst part was is right ankle. Jim was a failure at human anatomy but even he knew that an ankle wasn't supposed to stick up in that direction. And last time he checked it also hadn't been blue.

"Well, shit." He mumbled again

~...~

With help of a few students Jim was able to get to the university's sickbay and that's how it came that he sat on a bed, waiting for someone to make the pain go away. The demi god who pushed the curtain aside was a good start.

"What happened?" Asked the man ('Dr. Leonard McCoy' said the nameplate) while he walked nearer to Jim. Jim pointed at his ankle.

"Fell down the stairs." The stare he got was adorable and unbearable hot and that was unfair because usually Jim would bitch at every doctor because he hated doctors and hospitals in general.

"You fell down the stairs?" The doctor repeated and Jim flashed him a blinding smiles.
"Happens all the time, doc." And oh god, the voice of Leonard McCoy was the sexiest thing Jim had ever heard, the southern accent and the vibrating bass tone-

It took about five minutes to observe that Jim's ankle wasn't broken, just sprained and then another five minutes for the nurse to treat his injury. They doctor left them after he touched and pinched Jim for a few seconds which made Jim jump in pain.

"Ouch! Hey, that hurt!" Jim drawled and flinched a way from those handsome, huge hands.

"Don't be such an infant." The man rolled is eyes at him and for a second there was something familiar about the hot doctor but Jim couldn't put a finger on it and it slipped away when the pretty nurse (what the hell, when started medical stuff to be overly sexy?) bandaged his ankle and steadied it.

"Don't load too much weight on it, Mr. Kirk. Keep it still for a week, then come back and let it be checked again." The woman told him and Jim nodded, his mind already occupied with someone else.

Jim left sickbay, hobbling a little bit when he took his mobile phone out of his pocket. New news to tell Bones.

"I fell down the stairs earlier that day."

"You survived?"

"Yes."

"Poor me."

"Hey, RUDE, dude."

"Any internal damage done? Any limbs cut off?"

"No, but I strained my ankle. Missed two of my lectures, too, pity me."

"Shut the fuck up kid, I'm having a horrible day." Which led Jim to his recent thoughts on where Bones worked. He knew the guy worked at as a doctor somewhere; not as a real doc, though, because the man was studying but still. Bones had told him he was working on campus and Jim slightly wondered if he had met Bones before.

"Think we met in sickbay today?"

"No way, I totally would have recognized your ego the moment you stepped inside."

"Huh. You know, Bones, the doc who treated me was like walking porn. He was HOT. The hottest thing I've seen in years."

"Don't tell me details about your sex life kid, I don't need more nightmare material then I already have!"

"Don't be ridiculous! It's not my sex life I'm talking about, it's my sex fantasies I'm sharing with you, that's totally different. And I bet even YOU would find that man attractive."

"I bet I wouldn't. I'm not into guys."

"Nahh, but you love me." Huh, that was kind of a surprise to Jim himself. When did their relationship change from 'creepy stalker Jim & SNH' to 'Actually we care about each other but we never would say it out loud and yes SAYING OUT LOUD also means TEXTING'?

"No I don't love you, you fool."

"You're supposed to be nice to me, I'm injured."

"Don't be such an infant."

Huh.

Jim heard that earlier today, too.

He reached his dorm room, crawling inside because outside still was horrible weather with all that rain and Jim was lucky he didn't had to go out there today. He slipped out of his shirt, jeans and socks, burying himself deep in his soft and light covers of the bed. It was just around 4 PM but he already was pretty tired. Jim slightly wondered where all the time had gone when his mobile phone vibrated next to his head.

"So you're going to tell me the docs name so I can go and punch him in the face, all jealous like?"

"Awww, you would do that?"

"I can't believe we're having that conversation."

Jim chuckled at that.

"You started it. Anyway, his name is Leonard McCoy." Jim was a little bit confused and annoyed that it took Bones 13 minutes to reply and no, he didn't count the minutes nor did he check his phone every second, thank you, he wasn't hopelessly stupid.

"Open the damn door."

He frowned. What the hell? He freed himself from his bedsheets, nearly tripping over them and then walked to the front door, just wearing his boxer shorts, holding his mobile phone and typing back.

"Why the hell should I open my door?"

"Just do it you maniac." So Jim did. And his heart stopped. There he stood, the most gorgeous doctor in history, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt under a leather jacket and Jim grinned more out of reflex then anything else, wanting to ask the man what he was doing here when he noticed the mobile phone Leonard McCoy held in his hand.

Jim felt as if lightning hit him. Damn.

"Oh." Jim stared at Bones for a while and in retrospective it was kind of embarrassing that he did that so openly.

Eventually though, McCoy typed an message in his phone, never letting Jim's eyes go (how the hell did he manage to type without looking?) and Jim's mouth dropped open a little bit more when he received a (the) SMS.

"Bones is the nickname I got after my divorce."

Jim's face broke into a blinding smile, half boyish grin, all true joy when he stepped aside so Bones could enter his room. Jim closed the door and turned around to face his guest.

"Shit." Because seriously, that was all a little bit too much coincidence to not be awkwardly weird.

"You mean fucking weird?"

Turned out biology class wasn't completely useless after all and Pike had been right when he said think about all the new people you could possibly meet.

"No, Bones, I mean fucking awesome."

~END~