THE POST-IT

"Is he in?" I ask Ella, Josh's assistant.

"No, but he told me to let you in," Ella says, clearly not happy with Josh's order. I know that Ella doesn't like me and well, what can I say, the feeling is mutual.

First of all, I know that his assistant really doesn't take good care of Josh. Okay, admittedly Josh is sort of a high-maintenance guy but Ella is paid for making his life easier. I know that not every assistant has the same dedication as I had for Josh; but Margaret was dedicated to Leo, just as Ginger was dedicated to Toby and Ronna is to the President. Not to speak of Mrs. Landingham. So you can see why I'm disappointed by Ella. Plus, she reminds me of Mandy Hampton. But that's just me. Sam told me that he doesn't see any similarities, and I believe him, but still. I really think that Josh should have asked Ginger or Bonnie to take over as his assistants, or even Nancy but for some reason he didn't want that. I might have to talk to… Yeah, no one to talk to. Leo is gone, and Toby is not here anymore. Maybe I can talk to Sam about her lack of enthusiasm for working for the President's Chief of Staff. I mean it's a great privilege.

I step into Josh's office with a smile on my face. I know I shouldn't but I still feel something that resembles awe whenever I set foot into the Chief of Staff's office. Josh is the third person I know who occupied the office next to the Oval. The room is transformed once again; it reminds me a great deal of Leo's former office but it still has something that screams Josh Lyman. Maybe the Mike Piazza photo on the shelf or the lack of that painting with the ship; Josh insisted that he didn't want any precious things in his office and I heartily concurred, much to the delight of President Santos. He was actually in stitches. I know that Josh could be a klutz sometimes and fortunately he is aware of that too and knows his limitations. However, I just have the idea what to put on his wall. Maybe Toby knows a good calligrapher in town or in New York. I think of Kennedy or FDR. Maybe an excerpt from Four Freedom speech. Yep, that would make Josh happy. I like thinking of things that make him happy.

My gaze falls onto Josh's desk. I know that I shouldn't but I can't help it; I care about Josh, I'm allowed to. I know if his working environment is chaotic Josh tends to lose his focus and so I start straightening his desk. It's not my job, but he is my man. Who would have predicted that when I first made order out of the chaos that was his office in New Hampshire?

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Josh asks me when he steps into his office five minutes later. I didn't see him coming in, he must have come through the Oval.

"I was just…" I know I stammer. I didn't mean him to catch me. "I mean this pile of folders must be lying around here for a week now. Doesn't she ever come here to tackle your desk?" I ask somewhat angered. I really am disappointed by the girl.

"No, she says I can do it by myself," Josh says with a shrug of his shoulders. "I usually do it on Monday morning."

So that's why we don't have sex on Monday mornings. You can count on me; I'm already planning my revenge against the little… Okay, Donna, time to calm down.

"So that's why you always leave so early Monday morning!" Yeah, way to calm down, I know. "And I thought you were excited about coming back to work after your half-day free time," I remark with some sarcasm just to let him know that I'm no fan of his early coming into work.

"Donna…" Josh starts but I signal him to stop. I really don't want to argue with him about this. Now, planning my revenge is a completely other thing.

"Please, just let me do this for you," I ask him.

"You don't have anything else to do? You know, in your part of the White House?" Josh asks teasingly.

"The First Lady wanted to cook dinner. Annabeth went with her; I thought she needed some time alone with a woman who is…" Yeah, we don't want to go there, Donna. I almost said who is married. Boy, am I glad that I caught myself!

"What?" Josh asks me when I don't end the sentence.

"Nothing. It's nothing," I say, stressing the second 'nothing'.

"Okay. Why did you come to see me? I mean you could have gone home," Josh asks me in whisper. I think I just made him happy. I mean he always says that he is happy to see me but I don't know if it's just flattery or is he really does feel that way. But I can see it in his eyes tonight that he likes the idea that I stopped by.

"I just wanted to see you before going home. I missed you," I whisper back, leaning a little closer. I know, this is the office next to the Oval, so we can't just go and kiss and fool around. My office is a totally other thing.

"I missed you too," Josh says and then plants a kiss on my lips. It's really nothing serious; it's rather on the chaste side. I feel deprived. Because, you know, Josh can kiss real well. He is the King of Kisses. He can tell me so much with his kisses. I always know the reason why he kisses me. I can feel it in his kiss whether he is glad to see me again, missed me, missed me terribly or just wants to let me know how much he loves me or when he is thinking about… You know. This kiss was sweet and short so it's the first one. He is glad to see me. Well, I'm glad to see him too.

"I think you can do better, Josh Lyman, second powerful man in the White House," I tell him mockingly.

"I'll show you better at home," he says, wagging his eye-brows at me. He really looks ridiculous when he does that but I still can't resist it. "Listen, I have to go to the Situation Room but it shouldn't take long. After that, we can go home together. Would you like to wait for me here?" Josh offers me. And of course I'll take it. It's not an everyday occurrence that we go home together, so I treasure it every time we can.

"I'd love that. Am I allowed to straighten your desk?" I ask then with a grin. Just say 'yes', Joshua, I urge him in my head.

"Yes, you are allowed," Josh told her, planting a kiss on the tip of my nose. It's these little moments I live for. I mean how sweet was that? "You are the best." Oh, help me, my heart is already at melting point, I can't possibly take more.

"Yeah, yeah," I say, shooing him out of the office with my hand. I think it works, it might cover up the gooey feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. "You still put the receipts in the upper drawer?"

"Yes, you want to tackle those too?" Josh asked her, clearly surprised.

"I'll separate them from the rest of the junk and then give them to Ronna, I mean Ella. I guess you stash everything there that's not important enough to have its own file," I wager.

"Well, you know me well, baby," Josh says, grabbing a file from the desk and then dashes out. I'm still not used to the idea that he is allowed into the Situation Room. Don't get me wrong, I think he is capable of handling it; I'm just not comfortable with all the responsibilities that come with that privilege. Besides, it's a dangerous place to be. I mean there are four-star generals and admirals there. They hate my Joshua. I know that. They hate him because he never served and because he can't stand guns and rifles and cannons and ICBMs and A-bombs. Okay, I might exaggerate a little, I really doubt that the Armed Forces people are bigger fans of the A-bomb than Josh but I really know that they hate him. And unfortunately, he knows that too. But they'll come around, I'm sure they'll. Josh is studying modern warfare and ancient tacticians every night at home. This week we are reading Sun Tzu, two weeks ago it was von Clausewitz. Eventually, they'll take him seriously.

I get down to work and when the surface resembles a desk again, I pull out the upper drawer. I have to repress a sigh at the view, it's utter chaos in there. I place the drawer onto the desk. There are mostly receipts which I separate from the other junk and clip them together with a paper-clip. I'll take that to Ella. Or I might ask Ronna to do it for Josh. They like each other.

I also find some post-it with mysterious messages. I know that nothing concerning national security would just lie around in Josh's drawer. He is too careful for that to ever happen, he is even careful around me although he told me he trusted me. And the post-its are mauve-colored and that means they are not business related. Back then when I was his assistant we had this color-coded post-it system. If it was urgent it was on the blue post-it, if it was normal business it was yellow and if it was personal or not work-related it was mauve. Or pink. But Josh preferred the word mauve. He can be such a wuss sometimes. I mean I know men who wear pink shirts and are the epitome of manliness. I don't say that I don't have a fleeting sense of doubt whether I should really go through these notes but Josh didn't say anything to contrary and I always did that in the good ole days.

There is one with a phone number which I recognize as CJ's new number. I check it against the number in my phone just to be sure, but they match. So I dispose it, I know that Josh has the number stored on his Blackberry. I saved it there not two weeks ago.

The next one is a date and time from two months ago. It sounds somewhat familiar, and thinking back I realize that it was the night at the Kennedy Centre. He brought me there as a late Valentine's Day gift. I really enjoyed the show and Josh too, although he would never admit that to anyone. I throw the post-it note into the trash can; I know (and strongly hope) that Josh doesn't need any other reminder of that night. I mean he said that it was a night he would never forget. And I'm not blushing! I am not!

"How is it going?" Ronna chooses this moment to step inside; I see she is holding a folder in her hand.

"Well, considering that this isn't my job and I didn't do something like this for a long-long time, it's going well. Tell me again why Josh decided to hire this girl," I ask her with a sigh.

"Because she is a brunette and short, also because she doesn't take crap," Ronna tells me with a grin. I know that she doesn't like Ella any more than me. I don't really know what Josh had been thinking when he hired that girl.

"Okay," I say and nod resignedly. Ronna leaves after placing the folder on the corner of the desk. I guess this must be read this evening. When all I wanted is to go home and cuddle. Well, maybe we can cuddle after he read it; it really doesn't seem that thick.

I find some random phone numbers which I stack together with a paper clip. Josh can decide later what to do with them. Then comes a yellow one with the letters WWLD? I remember him telling me about CJ's last advice. I had tears in my eyes. I miss Leo, and I can only imagine how much Josh misses him.

Okay, there is only one post-it note left in the drawer. I place the receipts and the stack of phone numbers back and then slide the drawer back into its usual place. I sit down and look at the note. At first glance I'm inclined to laugh because it has several little hearts (very out-of-shape hearts). But there are also several names. Such as Donatella Moss-Lyman. Or Donatella Lyman. And Donna Moss-Lyman. Also Donna Lyman. Mrs. Lyman and Mrs. Josh Lyman, but those are already crossed out. Josh is thinking about my married name? He wants to marry me? Wait a minute there! Josh Lyman wants to marry me? And he is drawing little hearts next to my name? How sweet is that? And just where is he when I want to kiss him senseless? Oh, yeah, Situation Room. Wonder what all the four-star generals would do when I would kiss him there. Well, I guess we will never find that one out because I would be probably dead before I could even get a glimpse of Josh.

Suddenly I realize that there is something else written on the back of the post-it note. And I can't help the tears pooling up in my eyes. I really can't. I'm in love with the most romantic guy in the whole wide world! I mean it! He is the best man ever. Okay, he can be a jackass but we won't talk like that about the father of my children.

There are more names on the back too. Like Helen Lyman. Or Annabel Lyman. And Joanna Lyman. Also Noah Lyman. Leo Lyman. Daniel Lyman. I put the little paper down, not thrusting my shaking hands to hold it steady. Josh wants kids with me. How do I know that? Annabel was my grandmother's name, and my grandfather was Daniel Moss. Yeah, Josh knows how much they meant to me. I don't know who Helen is (and it can't be Helen Santos because according to Jewish tradition you don't name your kid after living persons), but I like that name. It has a nice ring to it. Leo Lyman is a bit too much but I'm not exactly opposed to the idea. And Noah is a wonderful name for a little boy. I really wish I could see them. My future kids. A little boy and his baby sister. Noah Daniel Lyman and Helen Annabel Lyman.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Josh is back and I guess he noticed the tears in my eyes immediately.

"It's just…" I stammer again. "It's just that you are so sweet sometimes and I'm so much in love with you," I say, trying to wipe away the tears. I really don't want to cry. Josh doesn't like it, even if I'm not sad.

"I love you too," he returns the confession and places a light kiss on my lips. "I am sweet?" he then asks with a grin. Trust him to concentrate on that part. "Why? How?"

"I've found this," I tell him, handing over the post-it note. "Sorry for going through your personal stuff but…" I want to apologize but Josh waves me off. He grabs the post-it note although I think he had a hunch which one made me cry.

"So hyphenated or not?" He asks with a gentle smile. I could kiss him senseless right now. But I can't let him off the hook this easy! He has to propose properly.

"Definitely not," I say. "I'm thinking of Donatella Lyman. But, you know, Josh, you are not off the hook, right? You have to make this for real too."

"I know, and I will," Josh says solemnly and earns a mind-blowing kiss from me.

"Who was Helen?" I ask Josh when our breathing is normal again. So we were making out not ten feet away from the Oval Office. Big deal! I bet the Presidents did that all the time. I mean in the Oval Office. Well, except for President Lincoln. I just can't picture him making out in the Oval Office. Although if memory serves right he didn't have an Oval Office, he used a room in the Residence.

"My father's mom," Josh tells me simply. Oh, I didn't know that. I heard of her, but I don't think that Josh had ever mentioned her by name.

"I really loved Leo, Josh, but Leo Lyman is too much burden for a kid," I state while Josh is stuffing some folders into his backpack, getting ready for home. I don't know what possessed me to say that, I just really wanted him to know.

"I know," Josh sighs, and I cup his face in my hands. I gaze into those unbelievable eyes of his and I see that he understands.

"But I like Noah Lyman. I really do," I add when I link my arm with Josh's.

"Noah Daniel Lyman. I think that sounds terrific for a little guy," Josh says, making my heart jump. We are so tuned to each other. I tell him that all the time and he just smiles every time.

"I think that too," I agree and we check out of the West Wing, Josh's driver is already waiting for us to take us home.

THE END

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