A/N: I have posted this several other places, but due to reasons, I decided to post this here as well. This is another homestuck AU. The premise is that in the world the characters live in, no one has a gender, name, or any kind of identity really, until they turn 17. Homosexuality is something punishable by the law aaaaand so on. So um, enjoy?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Homestuck's characters. At all. In any way. Got it?
Close your eyes, they told you. Close them and just watch your entire life until now play on the inside of your eyelids. It wasn't that hard to do, the machine around you was disconcerting. It's too white on the inside of the machine, and when you close your eyes, you can still see the white. A soft whirring begins next to your ear and you know it's about to begin.
From what your friends told you, some memories would go by quickly. The doctors told you this too. They told you that the ones that played out longer would be hints as what your future held. Just watch, and when it's over, everything will make sense. Everything will be easier from here on out. Everything will make sense.
The memories start, the memories of your birth and your first 4 years fly by. Memories that were flying by began to slow down, and you knew the first important memory would start soon. You realize when the memory slows down to sometime shortly after you turned 5. The scene playing out before you is one you know well. You and your dad outside in the yard, wrestling around like family does, playing on the slime pogo you loved so much.
'Youloveyourfatherverymuch.He'sallyou'veeverhad.Butinthefuture,you'llhavesomuchmore.' a soft, low voice breaks through your memory. You wonder briefly if it's your own voice years into the future. But your mind wanders to the words even more. It's true, your dad is the only person you've had. Your mother was never in the picture, and it was against the social standards for you to have much contact outside of your home. In fact, you've spent most of your life within your house, learning there, living there, and through approved means, making friends there. That's the way things work in your world. You do exactly as you're told, because there are consequences for not doing things the right way.
The memories begin again, running on. The next time it slows down is to a memory 4 years ago. You were 13 then, but that year was probably one of the years most important to you. You see yourself in front of a computer screen, with an approved group chat in front of you. Your friends, who you only know as their screen names, are taking a break from the normal topics of movies, sick beats, gardening, and psychology.
Instead, you're talking about something far more important.
GG: so guys, i want to talk about something serious.
TG: go for it then
TT: Yes, go ahead, it will be a nice change for us.
EB: yeah!
GG: so i know we still have 4 years, but i was wondering if anyone else was...well, developing a preference.
TT: An interesting subject indeed.
GG: yeah, well... i think i'd kind of like to end up being a girl.
TG: thats pretty cool gg
TG: and tt dont turn this into some psycho-analyzing crap
TT: For your sake TG, I'll refrain. But GG, you are not alone in the development of a preference. I would have to agree with you as well,
upon the idea that I would like to be a female as well.
TG: well unlike you chumps im pretty sure id like to be a guy
TG: have all the ladies macking on me just like my bro
EB: oh wow you guys!
EB: i feel so left out!
GG: what do you mean eb?
EB: well, i guess it's because i'm ok with whatever i get!
TT: This does not surprise me at all, to be quite honest.
GG: well i think it's kind of cool that you're ok with either!
TG: so wait EB does that mean youve come to terms with your complete crush on nic cage
EB: it's not a crush!
EB: he's just a really cool actor!
TG: you keep telling yourself that kid
TG: maybe if you say it enough youll convince yourself that its true
GG: tg! rude! D:
TT: I agree that that was completely unnecessary TG.
EB: guys, it's ok. it's not like this is the first time this dumpass has ragged on me.
TG: see ebs cool with it so chill out
GG: ugh, whatever!
GG: anyways, i know that eb is the youngest of us.
GG: but maybe on the day eb goes in for the change we could meet up or something! :D
TG: that would be pretty chill
TT: I am in agreement that it would be a good idea.
EB: it would be soooooooo cool!
EB: that would be the best birthday present ever, hands down!
TG: aw come on eb i thought that nasty bunny was the best
EB: well it was really awesome, but meeting you guys is just a whole different thing!
TT: Then it's settled. This is what TG would probably call "a thing that is so happening."
GG: woot! :)
TG: lets make this shit happen
EB: you guys are the best!
The memory fades out and you go back to seeing your life in fast forward, but not without a say from the voice, 'You'vealwaysbeensocontentwitheverything.Thisisonceofyourbestqualities.Itmakestodayprettyharddoesn'tit?'.
You watch, reliving the past four years. You'd argue that they've been your favorite years and that nothing can top them. Emotion fills you as you watch, enjoying all of your time before today. Another memory is coming up as you see them begin to slow down around December of the past year. Your friends birthdays are all around this time, starting with GG who comes back on her birthday a girl. She's happy as can be with her newly christened name of Jade Harley. The group log and your private log with her are full of congratulations. It's soon after that your memories slow down, to the day after. It's TG's birthday, at 2am to be precise. The two of you are talking privately. You think it was
because TG always trusted you a bit more than the others. Not that that would ever be admitted. Ever. You see yourself at the computer and you can see the log.
EB: so tg, are you nervous?
TG: hell no
TG: striders dont get nervous
EB: hey, you can't call yourself a strider until you're given your name.
TG: hell even if that thing decides to deem me some weird ass name ill always be a strider
EB: and youre still hoping to be a boy
TG: guy EB
TG: there's a difference between a boy and a guy
TG: a guy is a lot cooler than a boy
TG: for example i would be a guy of the male species
TG: and if for some reason you ended up being a male youd be a boy
EB: you still really think i'm going to end up a girl, dont you?
TG: well yeah
TG: it would explain a shit ton
TG: your shitty taste in movies
TG: your shitty taste in actors
TG: shit like that
EB: hey!
EB: my tastes in movies and actors is not shitty!
TG: really
TG: you could have fooled me
TG: especially with that raging crush on cage
EB: i dont have a crush on him!
TG: whatever
TG: all im saying is that the system probably wouldnt let someone like you be a guy
TG: because if you do have a crush on that shitty actor then weve got problems
EB: i know.
EB: i think i'd be really scared if i did end up being...
TG: say it
TG: youve got to get over the fear of saying it eb
EB: fine.
EB: a homosexual.
TG: see there you go
TG: was that so hard
EB: yes, yes it was.
EB: hehe
TG: even if that did happen you know youd have me jade and tt behind you
TG: hell if those government assholes tried to send you away like weve learned they do
TG: then theres no way im letting my best bro/sis go it alone
EB: awwww.
EB: thanks TG.
TG: no problem
TG: just dont get all mushy on me
EB: i wont!
TG: i think it would be ironic as fuck if you ended up being a chick and started macking on me
EB: oh man, it so would!
TG: id have to warn the other chicks off
TG: cause you and harley have prioity on the tg express
TG: well just have to see which one of you can make me swoon first
EB: what about tt?
TG: tt feels too close to being a sibling or something for me to be comfortable with that
EG: well, that makes sense i guess.
EG: honestly i think the same thing between me and jade.
TG: yeah
TG: listen man its fucking late
TG: and you know how normally i dont give one fuck two fucks red fucks blue fucks
TG: but todays kind of fucking important
EB: yeah, go get some sleep, dumpass!
TG: and just because im getting off now ive got to tell you something eb
EB: oh?
TG: ive been nervous and on talking to you just to try and chill out
TG: i am the nervous one its me
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:13am
EB: idiot.
Again you're brought into the memory stream. You ascend again to the normal quick speed. TG does end up being a guy, just like he wanted. And damn him if he wasn't a Strider. Dave Strider to be exact. Your thoughts at the time was that the name was truely fitting. The next day was TT's birthday and everyone wished for the best of luck. Later, the handle popped up in the chat room, your friend announcing her new name as being Rose Lalonde, clearly a female. Everyone congratulates her and everything goes back to normal-ish.
'You'refriends,althoughyouhaven'tmetthem,havebeenveryimportanttoyou.Inthefuture,youwillfindlovewithone.You'llfindoneofthemwillkeepallofyoursecrets.Andyou'llfindthattheotherwillbethereforyouinthemomentthattheyareneeded'. The voice quips cryptically in your head.
Your memories continue forward, covering the last few months of your life. They slow down one more time, to the night before. You were again talking to Dave, again, at some absurd hour.
EB: i'm just so nervous!
EB: pretty much everyone has a preference by now!
EB: but i still don't have one!
TG: eb relax bro
TG: take a breath and chill
TG: everythings going to be just fine
EB: i hope so.
EB: i'm really excited to meet everyone!
EB: i just hope that i don't end up shocking everyone in person if something unexpected happens!
TG: i dont think it will
TG: at least for some of us
TG: i mean
TG: youve got me and harley believing that youre going to be a chick
TG: and lalonde not saying anything
TG: one of us is bound not to be surprised.
EB: i guess you're right.
EB: well, good night!
TG: night man
ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:31am
You smile fondly within your thoughts that everyone has your back. The voice doesn't seem to have anything to say right after the memory, and you watch straight through until the memory of the doctors telling you to close your eyes. It's then that the voice decides to speak up.
'It'sbeenalittlehardforyounotknowing,hasn'tit.Yourmomenthasnowcome,however,foralltoberelievedtoyou.SomethingsIwilltellyoumustbesharedwithpeopleingeneral.Otherthings,youmaywishtohideinyourheart.First,youmayknowthatyourdreamofbecomingabiologistwillnotcometrue.Althoughthismaybedisappointingtohearnow,fearnot.Youaregoingtogoonalongjourney,whereyouwillfindyourtruecalling.Icantellyounothingmoreaboutthat.Next,youshalllearnthesymbolthatexpressesyouasanindividual.Youalonehavethesymbolofthewind.Youwillfindintimewhatitmeanstoyou.Then,thereisthetaskoftellingyoutheweaponyouwillwield.Youwillbeakeeperofthewinds,andyoushallwieldahammerwithpowerbeyondyourknowledge.Thenextthingyoushouldknow,andshouldonlytellthosethatyoutrustwithyourlife,isthatwhatyoufearedistrue.Though,youshouldnottreatitasabadthing.Youwillgrowintoit,evenifyoudonotnowunderstandwhatIreference.Finally,thereisthematterofyourgenderandname.Child,youareaman.Andyournamefromtodayon,shallbeJohnathanEgbert.YouwillpreferJohn,however.Now,goforth,onyour17thbirthday,andbeginyourjourney.'