Day 1: Cas is gone, what do I do?
Day 3: I started praying for Cas to return. I can't give up yet.
Day 6: Where are you Cas?
Day 7: One week has passed since Cas went away, where is my Cas?
Day 9: I spent two hours praying to Cas, where ever he is…
Day 13: Sammy told me Cas isn't coming back, I locked him out of the Impala, when he walked away, I started crying uncontrollably.
Day 15: Whenever I see someone in a trenchcoat, I get excited, maybe it's my Cas.
Day 21: Cas isn't coming back, I've given up all hope.
Day 25: I've prayed everyday since he left, I'm not going to pray anymore.
Day 26: Sammy treats me differently, like I'm a bomb that may explode at any second.
Day 28: Death seems very tempting, if I die, I may see that bastard again… But I can't leave Sammy.
Day 32: I'm making arrangements for if anything… unfortunate happens to me.
Day 35: Sammy won't let me out of his sight, it's probably a good thing too.
Day 40: Sammy keeps asking me if I'm okay, of course I am, why wouldn't I be?
Day 50 (I think): I've drunken myself into a stupor for the past nine or ten days, I'm fine, nothing's wrong with me.
Day 57: Sammy talked me off the side of a bridge. I don't remember how I got up there or why I was up there. All I can recall is seeing an angel standing in mid-air, I wanted to join him there for some reason.
Day 60: I had to go to the doctor today, Sammy forced me to go. I'm now on a prescription of anti-depressants. Nothing's wrong with me.
Day 65: I tried to walk in front of an oncoming truck, Sammy pulled me back.
Day 68: I've been drunk for two days straight. My hands won't stop shaking.
Day 72: Dean has drank himself into a coma, the doctors aren't sure if he will wake up. I can't lose him, he's all I have left.
Day 107: I woke up from my coma three days ago, there's no apparent brain damage, or so the doctors have told me.
Day 109: I was discharged from hospital today, Sammy won't let me do anything and he still won't let me out of his sight. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME.
Day 115: I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists. I'm back in hospital, whenever Sammy looks at me now, it seems like he's going to burst into tears.
Day 116: I am still in hospital, floating in and out of consciousness. I half woke up at one point and saw a figure standing in the corner of my room. He was of average height and wore a suit and a trenchcoat. I thought I knew who he was, I had a feeling we'd known each other well, like in a previous life. The man saw I was awake, looked me dead in the eye, shook his head and said "Dean, what have you done to yourself… Stay alive, for your brother." He walked out of my room but stopped at my doorway, turned and spoke again, "I heard your prayers, every one of them. I'm sorry for everything I've done." Then he walked away, disappearing from my life forever. I have no idea who he was. Sammy walked into my room not long after the stranger left, he looked at me staring at the doorway, with tears in his eyes, rushed to hug me. Whispering over and over again "I'm sorry Dean, I'm so sorry. I should have taken care of you, like you've always taken care of me." I started crying, not from sadness, but from joy. I choked the words out "No Sammy, I'm sorry for not always being there. I'm sorry for all the times I've died and left you." Sammy pulled away, laughing said "Don't call me Sammy, Sammy's the name of a fat kid." We laughed together, it was the first time we'd laughed in months, just then I could tell everything was going to be alright.