Tom Paris couldn't sleep.
His mind kept racing to her.
Thoughts of B'Elanna Torres had occupied his mind for quite some time now. It had been so long since he had anything real with a woman, and here he was nearly three years into a journey so long, it might as well be a lifetime; he did not want to ruin his shot at something meaningful down the line, despite the now-benign barbs they now shot each other's way.
He felt so alone, so horny that he couldn't think about how he was before all this shit took him over. What was disturbing to him was how often his mind wandered to Harry Kim. His best friend; one of only a few on this ship - although the latent hostility he picked up on had cooled off considerably since his arrival on Voyager.
Recently he had thoughts on what it would be like to be serviced by another man. It disturbed him greatly. Tom didn't consider himself bisexual, and certainly not homosexual; he enjoyed the female form too much. He took comfort from that.
The female form. Tom thought about her again. Those dark eyes, her lips, her hair. How he wanted to enjoy them, hoard them all to himself. Tom couldn't believe how much she had enchanted him. He never had a Klingon - or a half-Klingon - woman before. Her standoffishness made her curiously endearing.
He lamented that Voyager's relatively new uniforms weren't form fitting for female crewmembers. They were very loose compared their predecessors, The lack of colour below the shoulders did nothing to accentuate curves. Some female Admiral probably lodged a protest.
His mind wandered back to Harry. He didn't have these thoughts in prison - not in New Zealand, nor in the Akritirian prison with Harry, why should he have them now? He thought about how sweet and gullible Harry was, Tom was beginning to think that Harry had a crush on him, despite his being straight as well. And engaged.
With Harry it all seemed so easy. None of the bullshit he got with women.
They had spent so much time together, especially in the early days when no-one else would go near him because of what he did on Caldik Prime. And now, with both B'Elanna and Harry on two different away missions, he hadn't felt this alone for months.
The thoughts of being inside Harry aroused him. Having Harry service him and release his considerable tension. It wasn't gay if two friends helped each other out.
Was it?