So close, yet so far.
His world could be defined in this phrase now. All that he ever wanted, everything he needed, everything he would give away the world to have again was right in front of him.
She was here.
"Alisha!" her name came out like a prayer, so serene, so intimate that no one else could have heard it. It took every ounce of courage for him to not go and grab her in his arms. Simon wanted it so much that it hurt but still all that he could do was stare at her from afar, from a place she couldn't see him.
She was looking beautiful. That innocent face, big eyes, curly hairs. . .everything was just the same.
Simon could almost feel the softness of her hairs falling against his chest while she slept in his arms, the flicker in her eyes when he initiated kisses, the redness of her cheeks when she caught him staring at her.
"Stop looking at me like that!" she would say smiling in an attempt of trying and failing miserably to hide her blush.
The memory made Simon smile.
But it was a just a memory now. A memory that was the only thing that came with freedom of access now to him but still a memory nonetheless.
Even watching her was a luxury now; the days were gone when he could hold her hand, hug her, feel her lips against his.
But anything is better than having nothing at all.
He could see her sitting with everyone else, laughing with others at a distressed looking Nathan. She said something arching her eyebrows which he couldn't hear but remembered clearly,
"So you are saying you actually shagged a 82 year old granny? That's a horribly new low even for you, Nathan!" to which everyone burst out laughing except Nathan.
The scene looked so fresh, so familiar that it made Simon sick at the back of his throat.
He could see himself too, shy as ever sitting across Alisha recording all of them on his mobile phone, zooming in on Alisha as she laughed loudly. Now to think of it maybe he always liked Alisha a bit more than all others.
How he wished he could have realized that then, how he wished he could have had more time with her.
But he knew that wasn't possible. He was too shy, awkward and wierdo for someone like Alisha fall in love with. It had to happen this way, he reminded himself.
That was the reason he was here.
To make things happen.
To make Alisha fall in love with him.
To save Alisha.
To make Simon move one step closer towards becoming what he is today.
To prepare the road which will lead his past self to stand where is standing today so that he can save Alisha again.
He was here to die.
Their future lied in their past.
It was the only way for them to be together, forever.
Only road to their eternity.
And he knew Alisha would always be waiting for him at the end of it.