Forgive
He walks through life unnoticed. No one sees him. If they do, they still do not. They still could not. However they still would not. And why should they?
Darkness chokes the flower, causes tears to run on the petals of anemone, withers the soul and sends it searching for the safety of fern. His brilliant morning sun does not rise. It is something he believes he will never see. A promise that remains empty and forgotten.
"Forgive him."
Ritsu pulls on the soft pink silk, tight around his thin waist. With agile fingers, long and thin, he fastens the long strands of hair from around his delicate face.
"Forgive him."
Soft words escape his lips, with a small smile. The novelist sits before him, a cup of tea in his thick fingers, smudged with drying ink, nails bitten. He looks strangely at him, as the boy in pink explains this and that in stuttered sentences, eyes locked with his own socked feet. A smile dances across Shigure's thin lips and he mutters "A curious boy..." good-naturedly.
Ritsu smiles too. Yes, curious wasn't he? So strange and unlike the rest. A river rock among polished rubies. "...a-and so," he finishes after a long pause and another peculiar look from the sensei. He does not finish, leaving his cousin to end the sentence however he pleased.
In his head he felt the rain clouds forming. He hoped that squeezing his eyes shut in mock-happiness would keep the rain at bay. At least long enough for him to go from here to there. Wherever 'there' was. Anything that would serve as shelter. Serve as fern.
'Forgive him.'
And then he began to hum slowly to himself, not noticing that he was strokinghis own armsoothingly. His hair fell into his face and he continued humming. Continued through the rumbling in his head and the soft 'tink' noise his cousin's tea-cup made as it was set onto the hardwood table.
"Rii?"
"Rii!"
"Ah, y-yes Shigure-san?" His lips trembled and the lightning flashed behind his gentle smile.
"You are beginning to worry me, Ritsu. You are acting strange," he paused."for you... Is something on your mind?"
"Ah, n-no! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I made you worry! I'm sorry I am acting strangely! Forgive me, what a terrible guest I am!" The hysterics began, clashing with the thunder in his mind. "How could I even think you'd care about what I had to say, and now I'm wasting your time...I'M SOOOORRY!"
Satisfied that all was realtively well again, Shigure picked his cup up, blowing gentley on it. Ritsu left shortly after, bowing goodbye.
Once again he shook his head, eyes following the pink-clad form. "Strange boy."
'Forgive him.'
His mother had called it seemed. The red flashing on his answering machine attested to that. Who else would it be? He hadn't any friends. What had he done to deserve them? He left it unasnwered and swelling crimson.
Ritsu lay wrapped in tangles and knots of memories. Cushioned by the faces of bittersweet and yellow hyacinth. A strangled sob escaped the hollow of the fair throat and danced mockingly around the bedroom, hovering like a halo around his head. Another cry, invoked by the first, until the room was crowded by their presence.The emptiness filled him with feelings of home. Why he chose to live this way. Self pity joined him then, anger and above all a strange numbness that left a bitter taste on the base of his tongue.
The sun had not yet thought of waking from its' slumber, yet that was all the young man could want.
A knock sounded at the door. Three sharp pitches that he left unanswered soley because they remained unheared. Footsteps rained over hard floor, asaulting the silence of the apartment he called his own.
"Forgive him! Forgive him!" his mother would cry brokenly of him, shoving pain picked purple hyacinth into greedy hands, stripping the boy of his every petal until he was naught but a trampled stem tossed carelessly aside. He couldn't take the smell of those flowers any longer and he howled like a wounded dog, writhing under the weight of his pain. The intruder dashed towards the sound.
Forgive, forgive! Always forgive! Why not congratualte him? Why not support him. Love him. No, it must be forgive. He was flawed. More so than the other members of the juunishi. That much was obvious, for he needed constant forgiving.
"So, Forgive him!"
Through one eye, the man at the door watched the scene unfold. The scene that his medical knowledge had told him would come. In the darkness he remained, a shadow among many cast by the trembling boy, as he grabbed at either side of his head. His cousin, the novelist, had spoken nonchalently of Ritsu's strange behaviour earlier that afternoon. Kyou, and Ritsu's mother had both talked of similar, or more unnerving behaviour from the boy as of late. Hatori had been very right to check up on him.