AN: Two weeks late? Nah, just fifty early. That's how good I am at not procrastinating.

EN: two fucking weeks

AN2: shutfuckup

'A concert?' Maki raises an eyebrow in that cute "imi wakannai" way.

'Yeah my asshole agent just told me!' Aggressively swirling her non-alcoholic wine with her crazy straw, Nico pouts, fuming, her off hand struggling to keep her glass from falling.

'S-Stop...doing whatever the hell you're doing.' Maki glances around, meeting the bewildered eyes of suits and gowns.

Highbrow, reservations-only restaurants are a great way to ward off any unwanted predators searching for a crimson eyed, black twin-tailed idol (or her well-known red-headed "best friend"), but they don't exactly work with Nico's personality.

'But it's just so...bullcrap.' She holds back, in consideration of Maki's delicate ears, from swearing. 'They know I spend every Christmas with you and the girls, but what do they care?' Abandoning her crazy straw completely, she spills the wine down her throat. 'They're just all PR and fan pandering!' She slams her glass down onto the table.

Maki winces.

'I've already told them it's a no go. It's not in my contract to kiss the asses of the higher-ups anyway.' Nico points at Maki's glass of actual wine.

Maki sighs. She passes it across the table and Nico picks up her crazy straw, tapping it on the side of her glass to get rid of any residual drips of liquid before transferring it to Maki's.

She takes a sip, the liquid satisfyingly swirling up her crazy straw. 'Are rich people born wine-thirsty or what?'

'You know I only ordered it because I knew you'd want it,' Maki scowls, almost regretting falling into the pattern.

'Well, they only look twice at you tops cause of that "mature air" you've got.' She swivels a hand in the air dramatically. 'They look at my driver's and back at me, like, 7 times before giving anything to me, and if they recognise my face or name, it takes even longer.'

'Not that you mind the recognition.' Maki crosses her arms.

'Niko~!' Nico gives her idol smile before her lips drop again. 'Still annoying though.'

There's a break in the conversation.

'...Maybe you should do the Christmas concert.' She didn't really get to speak her mind before Nico moved on.

'Are you still on that?' She rests her cheek on her hand, crazy straw still bending into her mouth.

'Well, there's a reason they want you to do it; it'll be good for your career.' Maki bends forward, gently taking the crazy straw out of Nico's mouth and putting it in her's.

'Hey!' Nico glares at Maki.

Maki takes a sip and leans back. 'They've already announced it, right?'

'So what?' Nico maintains her glare as she reclaims her crazy straw. 'It was only today.'

'Even still, hype has already been built.' Maki frowns. 'You're popular. You'll disappoint a lot of people if you bail.'

'Are you seriously not taking my side here?' Nico looks hurt. Her wide eyes glisten, her lips quiver slightly. 'Don't you want to spend Christmas with me?'

'I...Well, uh…' Maki's used to this, playing devil's advocate to Nico. It's part of why their relationship works so well; they allow each other to see from new perspectives, to view their happiness, their sadness, their content, their anger, vastly differently…

It's as if Nico's words, her face, snap Maki out of a trance, an obligation. She realises that neither of them want this, that there is no new perspective to see here, or, well, no good one anyway.

'I just...don't want to get in the way of your career.' Her obstinance wins out over her epiphany.

Their food arrives.

Nico sees how it is. 'Fine. If you think I should do it, then I'll do it.' If Maki's going to be "like that", then she can be "like that" too.

'Look, we can talk about it more later—'

'Nope, I've decided.'

The rest of their meal is awkwardly silent. The drive home isn't any less so.

A particular high-rise apartment complex is home to many a rich business man and supermodel. It's apexed by a penthouse, in which its owners live.

Nico is already snuggly tucked into their bed when Maki walks in. She's right on the edge of her side of the bed. That doesn't bode well, especially since they don't usually have sides.

Maki turns off the lights and tentatively slides into the bed.

'...Nico?' Nico doesn't budge, but it's obvious to Maki that she's awake. They've been sleeping together for long enough to pick up on these things. '...Nico-chan?'

'Geh.' They'd dropped honorifics a while ago, so it caught her by surprise. '...That's cheating.'

'Yeah, well I don't like this game.' Maki shuffled closer to Nico's back, wrapping her arms around her. 'You don't have to do the concert if you don't want to.'

Maki's advances never feel aggressive or threatening to Nico; they're usually out of concern or sadness, which made them comforting and endearing. Maki probably doesn't like that fact. Regardless, Nico raised her hands to meet Maki's, which were clenched together at the centre of Nico's chest.

'Don't worry, Maki…' Serious consideration as to whether or not to use a honorific. '...You were right; cancelling a concert on the day it's announced is crazy. I'll tough it out.'

She feels it - that tightness in her chest. Ever since she started dating Maki, she would feel it. It was usually during her lessons, her shoots, her live shows even. For her to feel it now right next to Maki...it's frustrating. She had always just justified it as her missing Maki, but now she's frustratingly unsure of what it is.

Maki's voice is muffled by Nico's hair. '...If that's what you want.'

'Mm…' Maybe it's her not wanting to disappoint her fans. Maybe it's her wanting to become more popular. Maybe it's her wanting to know more about this tightness in her chest. Maybe it's a mixture of all three.

All Nico knows is that she's going through with the concert, though she'd...really rather not do it.

'I'd...really rather not do this.' Nico slumps onto the table.

'...What's with the formal talk?' Maki sips at her apple blackcurrant juice, glancing at Nico over the brim of her sunglasses.

'Pay it no mind…' Her voice is almost inaudible through her mask (and the table).

As usual, Nico's in her signature "nothin' to see here outfit" that exuded the opposite. There's a case to be made for the sunglasses (her red eyes are quite garish), but she could probably do with dropping the trench coat and doctor's mask. They're disturbing the other patrons of the juice bar.

'Hey, wait! Why aren't you disguised?' Nico shoots a glare at Maki's cool, tan leather jacket, and cute, short, black-and-white camo dress. 'Look at you, all cute and shit…'

'And look at you,' Maki smirked. 'I think everyone else is.' She waves her hand generally, motioning to the conspicuous inconspicuous glances they're getting.

'Boo.' Nico whines, chin still resting on the table. 'Where's my buzzy drink?'

'It's half-past two.' Maki takes another conservative sip of her diminishing glass. 'And we're at a juice bar. Strawberry smoothie. Your favourite.' She pushes the glass slowly over to Nico's cheek.

'Boo boo.' Nico pouts. 'For a doctor, you suck at people.'

Maki sighs. 'For an idol, you suck at being cute right now.' One point to Maki. 'Sit up straight, take off the dumb mask, and talk to me.'

Nico perks up, pulling down her mask to reveal her devilishly charming grin. She's not going to let Maki win this one. '"Right now", you say? Does that mean I'm usually good at being cute?'

'Slip of the tongue.'

'Freudian slip, you mean.'

'Do you even know what that means?'

Nico's grin grows ever bigger and ever smugger. 'It means you think I'm cute, but you're too shy to admit it.'

'...' Maki averts her eyes, blushing.

'So?' Nico leans in.

'...Of course I think you're cute.' One point to Nico. They're even.

'...I think you're cuter.' Nico pushes it.

'...No. I think you're way cuter.' Maki takes the bait.

'I think you're way, way cuter~❣' Nico pushes for more, her tone sweetening.

'Well, I think you're way, way, way cuter!' Maki turns to face Nico, disgruntled, but she sees Nico's dumb face way too late.

'Ah, is that so?' Two points to Nico. She's won. 'Thanks.'

'Geh.' Maki realises what she just said, but she can't bring herself to be angry; after all, Nico's smiling like a stupid idiot right now. A cute stupid idiot. 'This isn't fair…'

'Ehehe~' Nico giggles, Maki's eyes once again avoiding her's. 'Well, I think that's enough teasing~' She stands up. 'I'm heading back, fully charged!'

'Ah…' Maki is caught not wanting to embarrass herself by saying "Already?" but kind of wanting to say it too, and the moment passes before she can. '...You can always cancel the concert if you really can't deal with it.'

'No way.' Her smile still stuck on her giddy face, she "Niko~❣"s her hands. 'Everything's already in motion, and a lot of work has already been put into it. Super Idol Nico can't be the letdown!'

'Right.' Her smile is way too infectious, and with the good news Maki has lined up, she can't help but smile too. 'Then you'll be happy to know that µ's is definitely going to be there to support you.'

The tightness in her chest makes its gallant return. How frustrating. It had persisted all throughout work and subsided when she met up with Maki. That was perfectly fine. That was perfectly predictable. She had expected it to come back when she went back to work. The fact that she was wrong...is frustrating. And it fueled her now insatiable desire to figure this out.

'Everyone!?' Nico beams.

'Yep.' Maki stands up. 'Even Eli gave me the "all good", so you better do your best.'

'Oh, you bet your ass I'm gonna!' She turns to leave, tilting her head back and smiling. 'I'm super fired up now!'

'Ah.' She steps towards the retreating figure of Nico for just a moment. '...That wasn't cute at all, Nico…' She sips at Nico's crazy straw, Nico's smoothie untouched, as the insincerity of that smile worries her.

They're spending Christmas Eve together. They always did. Sometimes they ate out at a restaurant. It was at an amusement park on Christmas Eve that Nico broke Maki's belief in Santa Claus (in front of multiple children and a Santa Claus). Today, they just kinda want to be alone with each other. As such, they watch a B-Movie together, and cuddle on the couch.

'...Wanna get married?' Nico's voice is absent minded, her words floating carelessly in the dim, moonlit living room. She rests gently under Maki's chin as they lie together on the couch.

'Can't. We're too gay.'

'Pff.' Occasionally, Maki'll drop something like that: a joke. Especially in super casual situations like this...Though, Nico supposes it isn't really just a joke. 'Well, how about overseas. We've seen it done. We can do it too.'

'...I wouldn't be against it.' Maki admits the idea isn't bad. After all, she loves Nico. A lot. She blushes a bit, aware of her thoughts. 'You are an idol though. You can't really date, let alone marry.'

'Mm...thank god we're gay,' Nico giggles. No one really looks twice when Nico's with a girl. If they do, they're shipping it. Especially if she's with a hottie like Maki.

'Thank god.' Maki repeats, pulling Nico closer, much to her surprise.

'...I don't think I want to be an idol anymore.'

'What?!'

Nico spins around onto all fours, a knee between Maki's legs, her other leg off the front of the couch. 'Maki.' Her eyes are sharp, her lips shifted upwards. Softly, she holds Maki's right hand to her chest. 'Do you feel that?'

'H-Huh?! What?!'

'Just answer the question already!' It's the begging in Nico's voice that calms Maki down.

'...' There's nothing special about it. She's completely flat. Maki's hands established that a long time ago. Her heart beat is normal, rhythmic. Maki feels kinda dumb about her own stupid heart racing to the beat of "Hello, Hoshi o Kazoete". 'I don't know...it feels normal, I guess."

'That's my point-'

'Actually, I think you're heart rate's accelerating now.'

'Yeah, cause you're touching me inappropriately.'

'Shut it.'

She snatches her hand away, wrapping it around the back of Nico's neck and pulling her down firmly onto her chest. 'How does your heart rate have anything to do with you not wanting to be an idol anymore, anyway?'

She really doesn't get it. Any of it. And that annoyed her. It's like one of the most concrete or largest parts of Nico that she thought she had figured out had just crumbled in an instant. It invalidated a lot of what she was proud of: her knowledge of her lover's passions.

'...It's just been weird lately.'

'...Right.' She still doesn't get it.

'...Whenever I'm doing idol activities...it's just never felt good anymore.' She spins herself around, back facing Maki, as she resumes her position snug under Maki's chin. 'I don't know, it's weird.'

'That...doesn't help,' Maki sighs, frustrated. She still doesn't get it.

'I'm planning on doing my best, of course. Nothing less than before,' Nico smiles. '...Not sure about after tomorrow though.'

'...Want to talk about it now or…?'

'Later, later.' Nico chimes, cheerfully. 'I just wanted to tell you before I had to tell anyone else.'

'...Huh.' She doesn't get it at all.

'For now…'

Nico turns onto her side, forcing Maki to do the same for fear of falling off of the couch.

'I don't really want to move to the bed, so g'night.' She wraps her arms around Maki, gently burrowing into her chest.

'...Night.' She really doesn't get it at all.

It's not like them to just...leave things. Not like either of them. Nico leaving the idol world is unfathomable, and Maki leaving this topic here is a close second in unfathomableness. Maki wouldn't just go with Nico here, and yet she does. Maybe it's because Maki is afraid to say anything. Maybe it's because Nico doesn't want her to say anything.

'...I love you, Maki.' Her voice is barely above a whisper, but this…is something she can understand.

'...I love you, Nico.'

'I love you more.' She pulls Maki in closer, hands trailing down her back.

'Ah, is that so?' She places a hand on Nico's head, running her fingers through Nico's hair. She isn't going to fall for another one of these. 'Thanks.'

'Boo,' Nico jeers. 'You're no fun.'

'She's going to be late. Work called.'

'Whaaa? She'll still make it right?'

Penetrating the skull.

'Of course she will. Maki wouldn't miss this for the world.'

'Well, then we'll have to save a seat for Maki-chan when she gets here.'

Penetrating dura mater.

'Ah, there she is! Nico-chan!'

'Wait; something's wrong…'

Penetrating the brain.

The crowd is a mess of glowing lights and growing fights as people body each other in their rush to outrage.

'We have to catch Nicochi!' Nozomi yells, pushing past the ear piercing cacophony, managing to shove her way to the front of the pack.

'S-Somebody save meeeeee!'

'Kayochin!'

'Rin! Hanayo!'

Rin and Hanayo begin drifting away into opposite sides of the crowd as Umi struggles to bat the crowd aside.

'Dammit! Nozomi, we won't make in time!' Eli yells. 'Just go! Kotori, Honoka, hold hands; we're going in to rescue them!'

'Aerial support ready!' Kotori shouts, voice barely audible even right next to her.

'Ground support ready!' Honoka doesn't struggle as much.

'Alright, seeya soon then!' Nozomi yells back, pushing past the frontmost wigglers before breaking into a full sprint all the way to the parking lot. She swings the door open, jumping in. She's glad she convinced Eli to get her a sports car.

'Nicochi…' She slams the door close. 'I have to hurry-ah!' She notices. In her rush, the deck she had in her pocket had dropped out right outside the car. She sees it through the window, the one upturned card. '...Right. Of course.'

She changes her course.

She missed it. One emergency ventriculostomy, and she missed the entire concert. She hopes Nico will be reasonable enough not to be angry at her like she's angry at herself. Unreasonably so.

No missed calls. That's probably a good sign.

'I wonder how the concert we-'

Thousands left in shock after Super Idol runs out on Christmas Concert.

She almost drops her phone. '...Fuck.' That about sums up her feelings. She starts legging it. A bit unceremonious for a hospital, but she isn't thinking about that right now. Nico-chan…

Were there signs? More so than her straight up telling her she didn't want to be an idol? What led to that? How did it advance to this? Could she have done anything at all?

'In a rush?' Smug smug smug smug smug, she stands, back to her car, in the light of the moon and the hospital's windows, a card between her index and middle finger.

'Nozomi…'

'Hop in. We need to talk.' She faces the card towards Maki, winking.

The Lovers.

Maki sighs. She supposes this was an inevitability. 'Just take me to her.'

A box of juice with a pink straw. Car keys. A bunch of voices she'd wished would just shut up. Magazines.

At this point, anything was a good distraction from the pain she felt in her chest.

Nerves? Anxiety? Something…more?

She settled for something more, and felt so close, so very close, to figuring out what that something was.

She reached out toward the mirror of her dressing table, searching for it as it seemed just beyond the reach if her mind. She was met with cold glass, and the pained stare of a lost little girl.

'Nico-chan! On in five!'

'...Coming!' In an instant pulled back to the world she was meant to be in, she made herself smile her well-practised smile.

Backstage didn't feel any better, the combined mess of frantic staff and eager fans wafting into the already thick atmosphere. It became hard for her to breathe. One final push, she hoped, and she would know what this was.

A sea of lights. Deafening chants. All for her.

Onstage, looking at the blinding crowd that reflected her own shining star...it hit her.

Ah...so that's it. Of course that's it.

And she ran.

Nico ran back to her dressing room, past shocked gasps. She needed those car keys. Everyone was too unsure to stop her as she sprinted to her agent's car, a blitz of pink passion.

I...love this.

She gunned it out of the parking lot, tires screeching as she cut each rushed corner close.

I still do. I love being idol.

She didn't slow down all the way back.

I just…

Could the damn elevator rise any faster? She was in quite the rush.

I just…

She sliced her card down the reader, barrelling through the door.

I just…

'I'm back!'

There was no response. Of course wasn't.

'Ehehe…'

I just love you way, way more~❣

'She's been waiting for about three hours, you know?' Nozomi glances at Maki, winking.

'Eyes on the road,' Maki insists. '...Were you outside the hospital for three hours?'

'Well, I bought the others some dinner, and I bought you…' She nods to the back seats. '...some nice flowers.'

Maki tilts her head to the side, looking at the beautifully arranged bouquet, sitting tight in a cardboard box.

'Regardless,' Nozomi continues. 'You have your work cut out for you.'

'I just...don't get it, Nozomi.' Maki looks down at her hands, fingers entwined and thumbs pressing against each other. 'She was already having second thoughts about being an idol, so I suppose this isn't completely unprecedented...but beyond that, I don't understand anything.'

'...' Nozomi smiles. She lets her eyes close for a moment, reminiscing. '...It's just love, isn't it?'

'Huh?'

'We're here. Go get her, Maki.'

'Wait, what did you mean by-'

'Don't worry, don't worry~' She shoos Maki out of the car. 'Don't overcomplicate things~'

'Nozomi…' Maki frowns. She knows asking for more advise than Nozomi sees fit to give is kind of useless.

'Don't forget your flowers~'

'We told you she doesn't want to-Maki!'

As the elevator doors open, Maki is met with the tip of a kendo sword. Umi is on the other end of it, Honoka and Kotori standing to either side of her.

'Woah!' Maki staggers back a bit, barely keeping hold of her bouquet.

'S-Sorry.' Umi lowers her sword, smiling awkwardly.

'We were holding down the fort for you, Maki-chan.' Honoka grins, arms on her waist, legs wide in a power stance.

'...That explains the emotionally scarred suits downstairs.' Maki catches her breath.

'Ehehe…' Kotori puts her hands on Umi's shoulders. 'Umi-chan is super "convincing". It's kind of scary.'

'Regardless…' Eli steps out from behind them, followed by Rin and Hanayo. 'She hasn't let any of us in, so it's safe to assume that she wants to talk to you alone.'

'Yep!' Rin sidles up behind Maki, giving her a small push. 'So go, go, go, nya!'

'Do your best, Maki-chan!' Hanayo cries, a strangely determined look on her face. 'Fight!'

Maki gulps. This isn't the kind of pressure she needs right now.

…Just keep it simple.

She slides her card down the reader and opens the door gently, stepping in and closing it.

Nico stands there, back to the door in the entrance hall.

'Nico…'

'Hm?' And just like that, all tension is lifted. She sounds cheerful, or…sincerely satisfied.

'...Have you just been standing there for three hours?'

'I was waiting for you to come back.'

'...I'm back.'

Nico's very rarely not cute, almost always cute, and is occasionally beautiful. As she spins around, Maki places her under beautiful (and cute). 'Welcome back!'

'You're...okay.' Nico's smile feels natural, sincere, and to Maki, very relieving. Her outfit's a bit of a mess, the skirt crumpled, the ribbons off-centred, but all in all, she looks fine.

'Well,' Nico puffs her chest out, eyes closed, smile widening. 'What did you expect?'

'I...well...' Maki stutters. '...You made the girls wait outside for three hours. I didn't know what to expect.'

'Ehehe...I wanted you to be the first person to see this.' She feels a bit bad about the others, but they'd understand. They're used to her stubbornness. 'So?' She spreads her arms out wide. 'What do you think?'

'...Of what?'

'The new and improved housewife Nico!'

'You look exactly the same.'

'Tsk tsk tsk.' Nico waves her finger disapprovingly. 'It's about the feeling, Maki, and right now, I feel like becoming your housewife.'

'...So you're done with being an idol? Completely?'

'...' Nico looks down at her feet. Her eyes are hidden under her bangs, her smile quivers as her voice struggles to escape her throat. '...I don't have to be one anymore, and I just don't want to do anything that would cut into my time with you...' She looks up, and grins through her bittersweet tears. '...So yeah. I'm done.'

'Nico…' She had almost forgot about the bouquet in her hands, and completely forgets about them as she throws them aside, rushing over to Nico. 'Hey, come on...don't cry…' She wraps her arms around Nico, pulling Nico into her shoulder.

'I just...it's so simple, Maki...' Nico hics, her voice catching. 'Realising why I've been feeling weird...realising why being an idol hurt so much...realising that I don't want to be the centre of attention when I can just be yours…'

'I don't want to be a surgeon anymore.' When did it all click? When Nico ran out of her concert? When Nico welcomed her back? Was it only when Nico blatantly explained it? Regardless...it really is so simple: they just want to spend as much time as possible with each other.

'Wait, what!? You don't have to-' Nico perks up, placing her arms firmly on Maki's hips.

'Nope. I've decided. I'm fine with it.' She's not sure her parents will be though. 'I don't need the job. Hell, we're standing in an investment that essentially guarantees us for lives. So, I'm retiring…' She brings a hand up to Nico's cheek. '...And I'm going to spend that retirement giving you all the attention you want, alright?'

'Maki…' Nico's shocked still. Was Maki always this cool? She feels her face heating up, her heart pounding faster, her will to not lose to Maki rising. She tilts her head upwards, leaning in.

'Mmph…' She isn't exactly surprised. The mood was right, the timing just felt perfect, so this kiss is warranted, and one of Nico's more conventional kisses. Still, it's undoubtedly pleasant, as all of Nico's kisses are bound to be. They usually made Maki feel inadequate about her own abilities, but she's usually fine with just leaning in, letting Nico do her pleasurable magic, and enjoying it thoroughly. '...Your face is sticky.' She teases through heavy breaths as they part, her cheeks as warm as her taken lips. 'And you smell bad.'

'E-Eh? Really?' Nico slides from Maki's now flaccid hug, sniffing at her own arms. 'Geh. I really do.'

'You sure you didn't actually do the concert?' Maki smirks.

'Too soon, Maki, too soon. I'm still recovering from the trauma.' Nico stick her tongue out, not really even bothering to mock her drama.

'Yeah? Well, you can "recover" from it and your body odour in the bath.' Maki sighs, starting towards the bathroom.

'You're coming in with me?' Nico reaches for Maki's hand.

'Yeah, yeah.' She meets Nico in the middle and their fingers intertwine naturally. 'I've had a pretty stressful day too.'

Being immersed in warm water with each other. A common practice. An effective stress-reliever. They're in their regular position: Nico between Maki's legs, resting on her chest. They underfill their bath a bit just to do it.

'You know…' Maki breaks the tranquil silence. 'I'm kind of surprised you didn't, in all of that, call me something like your "number one fan". Shocked, actually.'

'That's an idol Nico thing,' Nico remarks, eyes closed and body melting into comfort. 'Housewife Nico'll just call you things like "dear" and "honey".'

'Why do I get the feeling that idol Nico's going to return whenever it's convenient for you?'

''Cause you know me.' Suddenly, Nico stands up, splashing water all over Maki.

'W-What are you doing, Nico!?'

'Subverting expectations! Get outta my way for a sec~' Nico begins trying step over Maki.

'Sit down, Nico; you're going to trip!' Maki ducks.

'Shuffle forwards a bit and we'll be fine!'

Maki acquiesces, shuffling forward, fearing for their safety. 'What are you even trying to do?'

'I'm switching it up a little.' She sits down behind Maki, spreading her legs around her. 'Lie down~'

'...Fine.' Maki sighs. She slides her body downwards, resting her head on Nico.

'I get to be dominant this time around~'

'And how's that going for you?'

'...It actually kinda sucks.' Nico regrets. Not only did she just cuck herself from lying down on Maki, but having someone lie on you is kind of uncomfortable.

'Not so easy, right?' Maki smirks.

'Yeah,' Nico smiles. 'You must love me a lot to do this for me.'

'...Yeah. I do. I love you. A lot.' She feels her cheeks burning up.

'Yeah? I think I love you more.' It's an obvious bait.

'...I think I love you way more.' Maki doesn't really mind falling for it. Nico can have this one, because she's satisfied with what she said.

'Well I love you the most, so there!' Nico yells, catching Maki off guard. She had changed the game.

'E-Eeh?' Maki felt her cheeks burn brighter. 'That's not fair at all, Nico!'