Author's Notes!

i realized that i'm not very good at writing happy stories.

this is kinda like a half song fic. it has some of the lyrics and was inspired by watched her disappear by tom waits the song is very beautiful and if you listen to it, you can understand why it was my inspiration for this.

this is in second person, seimei's point of view.

rated M for indirect gore and masturbation.

still wishing to take requests. hit them up on aim at clockworkxclouds or

Baku: Wiseman say 'Those who choke their chicken dies a thousand little deaths, while the virgin dies but once.'

Disclaimer!

though i am god, i do not own loveless or watched her disappear.

Last night I dreamt that I was dreaming of you

And from a window across the lawn I watched you undress...

You still haven't figured me out, have you?

It's cute, actually. I've been peering at you from outside your window for months. Ever since I left you, Ritsuka, you've never left my mind and I'm sure that I've never left yours.

I always come around this time. It's around is about the time you always emerge from your bathroom, freshly bathed, dripping with water. Those beautiful ears of yours always folded down, tail drooping, like you're an actual cat who hates the water. This is almost better than the dreams I have of you, my love.

I wish I could tell you about my dreams. About all the things I want to do to you. You would blush if I told you how I made you move, made you scream, made you moan in my dreams. Not that I could tell all of them...I don't think you'd be too fond of the ones that got a little...rough, I suppose you could say.

Ah yes, there you are. I got here just in time, haven't I? As soon as I look up, what do I see? My dear brother, of course, just the way I've wanted to see him. Perhaps tonight will be a lucky night. Perhaps you'll stay undressed for a longer amount of time. Perhaps you'll find me out and I'll have no choice but to come up there, reveal myself, and make you mine.

God knows how hard it is to fight back that urge. The urge to jump back in your life and make sure you never leave it again. To pin you down and make you feel sensations that no one else is allowed to give you. Not even that dirty Soubi. Has he dirtied you with his lips, Ritsuka? Has he dirtied you with his body?

Ah, speaking of 'hard,' it seems you've already taken affect on me...

You must have had a tiresome day, Ritsuka, sprawling out on your bed like that, naked, with no disregard. Then again, you think you're alone. You're too young and innocent to think that someone could be watching you. Not that it matters because it's me. I'm your older brother. I protect you from nasty perverts like Soubi. I'm the only one you get to have this effect on.

Pity, isn't it, that I only have my hand instead of you.

Moving in a yellow bedroom light

The air is wet with sound

The farawar yelping of a wounded dog...

The sounds of the night around me suit this beautiful mood, my dear. I can hear the faint voices from the television in your room, music, it sounds like. I can hear mother screaming at father from downstairs, that which you're trying to avoid. The sounds of the city, the crime, the devastation, they all ring out among this, soft and faded. The rustling of the wind in the trees, all of it creates the perfect romance.

Ah, yes, that's it...part your legs just a little more. You're giving your beloved big brother a grand show.

Yes, just keep making this better for me. Make this ever-so delightful as I watch you, hiding amongst the trees, using them for support to keep myself standing. Your beauty could sweep me off my feet, dearest. I know that I'm quiet enought to keep my groans silent. Maybe I don't want you to find me out just yet. Soon, Ritsuka, soon. I promise you that.

I don't know what just inspired you to get on your knees like that, but I will be thankful for it until the day I die.

A wooden cherryscent is faintly breathing in the air

I hear your champage laugh...

It's the time of year when cherry blossoms bloom, little brother. What I wouldn't do, who I wouldn't kill to have you amongst them. The pretty flowers falling in your hair, adding to your beauty, their heavenly aroma setting the mood...

And then I would take you. Hard.

What are you laughing about, Ritsuka? You're reading now, you must have read something clever. The sound of your gorgeous laugh filled the air for just a tiny moment, but it was the best sound of all tonight. Your voice, no, everything about you is perfect.

Just a little more, Ritsuka. Just stay like this for a couple moments more,that's all I need.

How lovely your back arches when you yawn and stretch. How enticing are the tiny, barely audible noises that you make as you do so. Your hair is still dripping tiny drops onto your shoulders, tracing rivers down your perfect back. If there is a God, Ritsuka, you are more beautiful than even he.

These last images brought me over the edge. It's what your beauty always does to me.

Do you hear that rustling, Ritsuka? It isn't me. I'm still keeping myself quiet as I catch my breath, trying to see now what it is that's making such a racket. I see it's caught your attention too. I don't blame you for frantically trying to get dressed. Who knows what kind of filthy pervert wants to watch you.

"Seimei?"

Too bad it isn't you who is saying my name. It has to be that repulsive Soubi.

He seems to be in shock, even disgusted. I take it he's seen what you made me do, love. I can see the storm in his eyes, whether or not his loyalty lies with me or with you. He wants to tell you, to protect you from me, but he knows he has to listen to me.

There's only one way to fix this problem.

You can't see or hear me, Ritsuka, as you stand on your balcony, peering out to find the noise, but it doesn't matter any longer. I made sure Soubi wouldn't scream as I stabbed him, I made sure to keep him quiet to protect you. I'll even make sure you won't find him dead and bleeding, full of stab wounds. One forevery day that he was with you and I was not. He will have just mysteriously disappeared from your life except, unlike me, he won't ever come back.

Now that's a good boy, Ritsuka, go back into your room and go to bed. Now that Soubi is gone, we will reunite a lot sooner than I had first anticipated.

Goodnight, my love.

And I watched you as you disappeared

I watched you as you disappeared...