Seperations and Dreams
Yesterday were the last day of writing exam papers for this semester at Shiz University but Elphaba Thropp did study anyway and anytime. She sat at her desk, read a book and listed important information. Her quill pen scratched over the paper and this was the only sound in the room besides her smooth breathing.
It was a low-pressure evening. Outside the window, in the darkening sky danced snowflakes and settled down on the pavement, painting it white. It was the reason why Elphaba was sitting at her desk whereas her new and mostly beloved friends were hiking to the richly decorated train station.
They're truly licking their lips in anticipation of this sweet and heavy hot punch at Madame Cloreen's, Elphaba thought and skipped a line. Surely they all asked if she'd like to join them. It was Glinda who said she really should put down these awful boring books and join them immediatly. Elphaba shrugged and sighed at the same time. Thinking about Glinda got more and more … she did not know how to entitle it … but it became a joy and hurt to think about the blonde girl with every day that passed by since this livechanging evening in the Ozdust Ballroom. Elphaba really liked how Glinda had changed in the past year but there was a slowly growing irritation she felt inside her chest.
What did it mean that her heart skipped a beat almost everytime when Glinda entered a room? And that it did not feel awful anymore to spend time with her? It felt like … Elphaba put her quill pen down, rested her chin in the palm of her right hand and sighed. When Glinda entered a room it felt like a sunrise. Like seeing the first spring flower in the meadow. And sometimes like water on her skin. Especially when Glinda was with Fiyero, when his hand rubbed down her neck, when she giggled about a joke he made. Then there was a sudden pain in her entrails.
There were some feelings inside her which she couldn't really get a hold of. She just knew that there was a place inside her that Glinda had occupied, step by step and day by day a little more. Sometimes this place seemed to be in her chest and othertimes somewhere in her stomach and from time to time it seemed to settle down somewhere under her abdomen.
This were true feelings she had, for Glinda. Elphaba knew that but she couldn't dare to analyze them even further. She was afraid of the secrets and longings she may find going down that lane.
Another sigh escaped her mouth. What, for Oz' sake are you doing to me, Glinda?, she asked inaudible, a small smile on her lips. Even if your not here, I am always thinking about you. These thoughts weren't unpleasant, not at all but they were grossly confusing.
Maybe I should analyze this feelings a little further, she thought. Just a little bit. She looked down on her notes but did not actual see them, they were blurred and just not that important at the moment. It was Glinda's face which materialized in front of her. This face with all the gorgeous blonde curls, the full lips and these kingfisher blue eyes with long lashes. Sometimes when Glinda was occupied with her dresses and her make up or with writing to her parents Elphaba just stared at her and lost her sense of time.
As it was now.
She was so lost in thought that the sudden sound of creaking wood startled her. It was the door to her dormitory and it squeaked every time it was moved.
"Oh sweet Oz, I am so sorry. I didn't want to startled you," said Glinda as she entered the room. She carried two big shopping bags in her arms. Her cheeks were blushed and her blonde curls shimmered in the electric light, obviously caused by the cold winter wind and the falling snow outside. Her movements were smooth and with no hesitation as she set aside the bags and unwind the scarf from her neck. "Were you here, studying all evening?" she asked with a soft and caring voice.
Elphaba swallowed. "No, ehm, actually I was thinking."
"Oh," was all Glinda said. She walked to Elphaba and put one pink hand on the dark wooden desk.
What a nice contrast, thought Elphaba before she swallowed again. Her gace went to the little clock next to her books. "It's quite early. So, what are you doing here? Usually you go out much longer."
"Usually, yes."
That short answer was a bit out of Glindas common behavior. Elphaba arched an eyebrow. "Is everything okay?"
The blonde girl did not answer, she just shrugged with her shoulders and tried to turn around but Elphaba reached out for her hand and held it soft but firm. "What's wrong?"
There was a thick silence in room 22 in Shiz University, then Glinda sighed and closed her eyes. "I, well, I received a letter from home. From my parents." She disengaged her hand from Elphabas hold and walked over to her bed where she sat down.
Elphaba rised from her chair, sat down next to Glinda and grasped her hand again. With soft movements she stroke Glindas soft pink, almost white hand with her green thumb. Something big and serious must have damaged Glindas bubbling cheerfulness.
The two girls sat in silence. A few minutes later Glinda reached for her coat pocket – she still weared her bright red coat – and brought a yellowish envelope to light. She handed it without any words over to Elphaba who just hesitated for a second before she took it from her friend's hand.
"Open it," Glinda said.
Elphaba's fingertips stroked the paper and opened the envelope. Two golden rings slipped free from it. She secured them in her palm and looked at them. They were delicate made and assumedly really expensive. "What does that mean?" Her voice was low and soft, barely more than a whisper.
Glinda took a deep breath and her hands went cold.
"It means," she said, "that my beloved parents are going to be divorced." She raised her eyes to meet Elphaba's gaze. „I never thought that this would really happen. There were some arguments, sure, but I always thought their love will last for forever. Love is supposed to do so, isn't it?"
There was a pleading in her eyes and Elphaba swallowed once more. "I don't kn…"
"Probably I knew it," Glinda said and stopped Elphaba in mid-sentence. "Everytime I visited them in the past year they were arguing or not talking to each other for some reason. And last time …" Her voice faded away.
"What happned?"
"Last time they were not talking to me. Not really, you know. They told me about their businesses and interior redecoration plans but they hardly ever aksed me how I was doing, how life's been here in Shiz … and I really wanted to talk to them about … about everything, you know." Glinda sighed and shook her head. „They told me in this stupid letter to marry a good man once I will have finished studying. A good man with a fair chance to wealth and esteem." A small smile lighted her face but it had nothing to do with amusement. "Maybe Avaric would fit very well to this kind of description."
"Avaric?" snorted Elphaba. "That puffed with conceit bighead?"
Glinda laughed but out of the sudden her laugh turned into a sob and tears were running down her cheeks. Then she turned silent again but the tears were still there.
Elphaba was fascinated and concerned at the same time. In her opinion Glinda looked so beautiful and so vulnerable that all she wanted to do was to hug her und never let go.
She raised her hand in slow motion and her fingertips brushed over Glinda's cheek. The shed tears did not hurt but there was a deep throbbing ache in her chest.
Once her green skin touched the white cheek Glinda's hand shoot up and she cupped Elphaba's wrist. "Elphie, no, this might hurt you!"
Elphaba shook her head slightly. "Shush," she said. "Never mind. It's okay."
Glinda's grasp got heavier as she began to tremble. There were new tears and new sobs. Without hesitation Elphaba embraced the blonde girl und started to sway back and forth. It was a soft movement and to calm Glinda even more she stroked Glinda's hair which was still damp from rain. Her skin tickled and itched but the sound of Glinda's sobs were even more painful. Glindas pain coursed right into her own body and settled down in her chest though she did not know how a divorce case felt like when you love your parents so unconditionally like Glinda did.
The minutes ticked away before Glinda – still crying – fell asleep in Elphaba's arms. Elphaba held on her friend. She still felt that ache in her chest but there was a little humming inside her as well. Her heart ached but at the same time it felt somehow light and cheery. It was a strange feeling and she did not dare to analyse it. After an hour she dripped away too, her arms still around Glinda's slim body.
Her heart skipped a beat and then her heartbeat raised quickly as she woke up. It throbbed so hard she thought it might break her costal arch. What happened?, she thought and sat up to get a better view over the dark room.
She was utterly puzzled for a moment as she looked to her own abandoned bed. But then the memories set back in. She turned to her other side, looked at the pink bedsheet. Her heartbeat quickened again because Glinda was not there.