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Author's Note: So, welcome to my first ever Negan/OC story. I've been planning this for a little while and have been writing it for a few weeks now, and I'm so excited to share it with you. This starts at the beginning of our true introduction to Negan in the show. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

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CHAPTER ONE

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Alice Fitzgerald was sure the world was ending. There was something about the sky that night that made her wary of the events of the next day: the dark indigo hues warped with the coal black clouds and the defiant golden tone of the sunshine as it battled with the night caused her to furrow her brow.

She hadn't often witnessed such a sight before, but it seemed now the world had in fact ended its natural state of existence, she observed every tiny detail that presented itself to her. As her gaze panned across the large canvas of a sky, she wondered how much of her life before that she missed the small details of. And that was when her mind would wander, and she would remember all the things she missed the most; the things that meant something to her that she often took for granted. The smell of her favourite books; the scent of her most worn and beloved perfume that somehow left a mark on every single person who knew her; the sound of her friend's laughter that she would do anything to hear again; the taste of the pizza she ordered most of the time when hunger and necessity struck. Oh, how much life she had taken for granted.

Alice would say the end of the world had been enlightening. An enlightening lesson, but also a cruel one. She used to wonder about the end of the world as a child, and she would often dream of an existence where it was just her brother and her, side by side, in a world that had turned its back on them and it was up to them to save the world from the grasp of the monsters. The monsters being something they were able to defy and defeat with mind tricks. What she wasn't expecting, however, was for the dead to start rising.

Even after so long, the image of the dead still haunted her dreams. She deemed it to be a ridiculous fear, but it was a tangible one and one she had to face every single day without much of a reprieve. She wasn't sure if it was the grunts that emitted from them, the sound of the heavy feet as they dragged themselves around them, or if it was the scent of them that caused her heart to race faster than it ever did before, where she would often believe it would crash out of her chest at the mere sight of one. The hot weather was the worst, the sun rays and ridiculously warm heat only seemed to cause their decay to accelerate and that was enough for her to vomit on the spot. She was never a queasy person, but some things changed with the end of the world. Instead of New Year, New Me, she often joked that it was New World, New Me.

But one good thing came out of the warm weather, the dead were easier to kill with their melting skin.

She was grateful for the colder months though. The dead slowed down, as if their limbs were made of the heaviest concrete. She didn't mind much, she had a good enough aim from the tower to catch the ones that dared to come close to the metal fence. She would often find that, as their bodies slowed so did their minds, and she was in and out of a store on a supply run before they even noticed she was around. But she wasn't sure if that was because she was used to the dangers and was able to analyse the situation, or whether she was reckless.

There were moments where she taunted the dead, wanting nothing more than to feel that struggle just so she could stare into their eyes and decide to live. She knew it was the most dangerous thing to do but she needed to feel alive sometimes. She was dancing with the devil and having an affair with death for just one moment. Alice would often see her death in their murky eyes if she released her grip on them for a split second or if her attention was drawn elsewhere. She could be taken out so quick and so easy, but that was the same for everyone. Including Negan.

She closed her eyes then, breaking eye contact with the last dredge of the sun. The thought of losing Negan was too much for her to comprehend, and she often wondered, begrudgingly, about life without him. She would cope. She had coped with the loss of her brother. She coped with the loss of her mother. She never had a father growing up, which almost allowed her to understand the need to be independent in a world like this one.

Life and death walked hand in hand with each other now, and she had to understand and acknowledge that it was going to happen one day. Her death, or his, was going to happen, and it was either by their own doing, an accident, or something was going to happen. She wished – hoped even – that their deaths were simultaneous. She could only hope of an easy death after life had become hard for them all. But one thing was for sure, there was no way in hell that her life was going to end at the hands of the dead. She had witnessed her imaginary death in many different circumstances and she didn't want to become a meal for them. Negan kept a bullet for them each in the top drawer of his bedside table.

One for her. One for him.

It was always going to be that way. And when death stared you in the face every day, you had to have plans. An unspoken oath, a matter of love and loss.

Alice opened her eyes and stared at the sky, darkened now as nightfall won the temporary war with the sun. As the sun rested and recovered for another day, she allowed the cool breeze to kiss at her skin. The hairs on her arms stood on end and she shivered after a moment, goosebumps scattered across her skin like small raindrops on a window.

"Ten minutes 'til bed," a voice called out and she tipped her head towards the man sauntering around the compound. She smirked as she watched the authoritative stance, he'd adopted in the short weeks of being promoted before lying back down on the car bonnet. She heard the chatter a distance away as conversations were wrapped up, goodnights were shared, and people started to move inside. "That means you too, Ma'am."

She raised her eyebrow at that and refused to look over at him. Her tone was enough to hear him gulp in response. "Excuse me?"

"It's just… Master wants to keep you safe and, uh… I don't want to feel his wrath," the man stuttered, and Alice let out a chuckle.

"I actually meant the 'Ma'am' thing," she smirked as she sat up and turned to him. "Please don't call me that."

"It's just… Master said…"

Alice smirked and raised her eyebrows. "Negan… is getting too comfortable with this 'Master' stuff. Please, Dylan… don't listen to him. Just call us by our names. And that's an order coming from me, okay?"

"Yes ma'am, I mean…" Dylan ran a hand through his head and stood up straight. "Okay, Alice. Thank you."

Alice winked at him and offered him a reassuring smile. "I'll make sure Negan understands that this 'Master' and 'Ma'am' thing is going too far now."

Dylan could only offer her a shy smile back and a nod as he continued his rounds. Alice watched him leave, and her eyes scanned the surrounding compound to find a few people were still hanging around, enjoying the last few minutes of freedom before bed. It was a rule that Negan had instilled in them all from the very beginning of their individual arrivals to the compound. The nights were different to the days, and sound seemed to travel more in the darkness than when the protective guise of the sun worked as their ally against the dead.

Alice slid off the car bonnet and made her way into the main compound. She usually found comfort lying on a vehicle, something she used to do as a child with her brother when her mother decided to invite a male friend over for most of the night. There was nothing better than lying on her back with her brother by her side as they watched the clouds dance with the wind and the wind carry them across the moon, and the stars twinkling defiantly. She missed those moments with her brother, and she would often imagine him beside her again. The loss of contact had been hard for her to comprehend in the early days when the world was a mess and people were frantically trying to find their family. And whilst others made it out of the major cities and travelled to the safe zones, she knew there was no way she was going to find her brother. He had moved to Washington a year after college, home life becoming too much with an alcoholic and homophobic mother, and Alice, being out in California, working three jobs to make ends meet and trying to forge a career in a city so bright the Hollywood sign shone brighter than any star in the sky.

Her brother Aaron was her best friend, and her last call had been to him. She had hoped he'd gotten out and to a safe place, and when he confirmed that he was safe, she felt relieved. He'd escaped with his boyfriend and a few of his colleagues and were awaiting a safe escorted removal from the city, a somewhat perk of working with a congresswoman. He had asked about her plans and she had lied to him, she had told him she was hitching a ride with some friends and they were going to leave that morning and head to a safe zone. Except in the true light of day, she had no-one to rely on or come to her aid. She knew if her brother was there with her that they would've been together, and that would've been enough.

And in those moments where she stared up into the sky and watched as the day turned into night and the wonderous colours that was painted across the sky, she wondered – or even hoped – that he was out there somewhere looking at the same one.

She had many questions: Was he still out there? Was he safe? Did he make it out alive? Was he okay?

She often lost sleep as her mind raced, conjuring up horrendous scenarios that her mind was too fragile to comprehend. Her brother had been her life and he… he was out there somewhere, she hoped. She knew it was unlikely, that his fate was that of everyone else she knew, but she had to believe that one day, they would meet again. If not in this life, then the next.

Alice locked the gate behind her and smiled at the small family sat on the ground, the warmth having caused the children to act feral before the cool breeze calmed and soothed them all. She ruffled the hair of both children and then moved to dig around in her bag for a moment. She pulled out a book she had picked up a few days before and handed it to the mother.

"Just a little something…" Alice said smiling as the mother thanked her profusely. "It has a dragon in it, I think."

"Thank you, Alice!" the boys chimed before she bid her goodbyes for the evening.

She turned to them once more. "Don't forget," she glanced at her watch then at the family. "You've got five minutes."

The corridors were stark of any life and she allowed her arms to outstretch and reach both sides of the corridor. The concrete was rough on her fingertips, but it had become a habit of sorts, one that Negan often laughed about. She didn't know why she did it, but she liked the sensation of the rough on the pads of her fingers.

She heard his voice in the distance as it ricocheted off the narrow walls. A smile etched across her face as she followed the sarcastic tone of his voice. It led her to his office and as she neared, his voice got louder. The door was open, and his eyes immediately fell on her as she passed by the doorway. His voice trailed off for a moment.

"Let's, uh, wrap this up, shall we?" Negan announced suddenly to his men, standing from his chair. "I'm sure you all want to be with your partners, and you don't want me to be chewing your ear off any longer."

As the men got ready to leave, Negan beckoned her into his office with a swift movement of his hand. She held the door for his men to leave before she closed it behind them. She dropped her backpack on the floor beside the chair and sat down with a sigh. She watched as Negan remained by the window, looking out at the darkened compound.

"You were gone when I woke up," he said, his voice soft. She watched as he never turned to look at her but kept his gaze on the compound outside.

"I just needed fresh air," she said with a shrug.

"You've been out all day, Alice," Negan said, turning to her then and sitting on the window sill. "You know the rules… if you wanna be out there, you've gotta tell one of us where you're going."

She understood the underlying message to his words. If she had notified them about where she was heading, and if something happened and she hadn't returned on time, Negan would be able to organise a group to head out and find her. If she was alive, they would bring her back to feel the wrath of Negan. And if she was dead, they would be able to retrieve her body. It wasn't an ideal situation, but she understood the necessity of having people know her whereabouts.

"I'm sorry," Alice said sincerely. "I didn't think… I just needed to be out in the open…"

"You were okay out there?"

"I'm back, aren't I?" Alice said with a smirk which wasn't received well with Negan.

"I worry about you… that's all…" Negan whispered, his gaze downcast.

Alice stood from the wooden chair and closed the gap between them. She slipped into the gap between his legs and gently grazed her fingers across his face and beard. She stared into his eyes for a moment, his stare intensifying even more. She brushed her lips against his and felt him react to her soft and delicate approach. He kissed her back slowly, his hands reaching around the backs of the thighs. He pulled her in closer to him, feeling the warmth of her against his chest.

Negan pulled away then, and stared at her. "Where did you go?"

"I visited a small town… an old historical town which was pretty cool," Alice said as she remembered her little adventure with a smile. "There was a small bookshop that was untouched, and I picked up a few things and…"

"There's dangerous people out there, Alice…" Negan said sternly. "Ya gotta be more careful."

"I am careful," Alice clapped back sternly, taking a step back from him. "I know the dangers out there, Negan. From the living and the dead. I was on my own long before I met you…"

"Yeah, and the thought of that unsettles me!" Negan said, standing to his full height. He overshadowed her completely, like the moon eclipsing the sun. "I hate the thought of something happening to you or someone hurting you."

"I can handle myself," Alice moved away from him then and picked up her backpack. But she faltered and bowed her head. She knew she should've notified Negan before she left, but… she felt claustrophobic sometimes and the only thing she needed to do was to leave for a few hours and feel the freedom of being outside the fence. Her life had changed as soon as Negan entered her life, and the baggage that came with him was his men who were at his beck and call for everything. She was used to waking with the sun and being on the move until the evening and upcoming nightfall made her find shelter for the night. Life for her now revolved around Negan and his rules, and though she felt grateful for having the protection of him, she struggled with the whole dynamic.

She pulled a box out of her backpack. "I wanted to get you something… we've been together for a year now and I wanted to make today special for you, for us, and I've messed it all up."

"Hey… no, don't do that," Negan said, reaching for her again. He pulled her to him, but she was reluctant at first. She allowed him to pull her to him after a moment, and he placed the backpack down on the floor beside them. "You haven't messed anything up. I was worried… I didn't mean to undermine you. I'm sorry. I know you're careful and cautious out there. I just don't trust the shits out there."

"I won't do it again, I promise…" Alice whispered. Negan nodded and brushed his lips against hers gently.

"What did you get me then?" Negan smirked, seeing Alice's eyes light up.

"Open it," Alice smiled as she handed him the gift box. "There were limited colours. They told me I had to order in the one I wanted but that was going to between a three to a lifetime wait, so…"

Negan opened the box and smiled at what was inside. A red scarf.

He moved one hand away from the box and tenderly touched his neck hidden behind a tattered old scarf. The thick, rough scar burned beneath his light touch.

"To go with your leather jacket," Alice smiled, defiantly. "Black and red complement each other well."

"Hm… I like it, a lot…" Negan said wrapping it around his neck above his old scarf. "Thank you…"

"Good… because it cost me a fortune…" Alice chuckled as Negan pulled her in for another kiss. "No returns either."

Alice slipped away from him, picked her backpack up and moved towards the door. She pulled something else out and with a coy smile presented it to Negan. A black lacy nightgown shimmered in the dying light of the room, but she saw the fire burn brightly in his eyes.

Alice playfully smirked at him. "Are you working late again tonight?"

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Alice lay there in silence. The room was filled with nothing but darkness, and though darkness usually calmed her, she felt unsettled. Negan laid beside her, a deep slumber having taken him away for a few hours. She had dozed off afterwards for a little while, but it wasn't enough to keep her asleep. Her mind always wandered when the world was still, the victim of her own intruding thoughts.

Her mind flashed with the images of the last few hours: the union her and Negan had; the warmth in her stomach as he kissed every inch of her; the feeling of edging closer and closer to the edge of the tallest mountain and being pushed off gently with a whimper; the feeling of Negan's strong arms holding her close; and the sensation of her entire body coming alive and everything in the world was made right for just a moment.

But the darkness within her heart and mind prevailed, winning the war once more.

She felt Negan shift in his sleep, and a wandering hand searching for her. She allowed him to pull her close to him and she had hoped, in his slumbering form, that he was able to feel her brokenness there in the darkness. She turned around in his arms so that she was facing him, and her head was resting in the crevice of his neck and listened to his calming heartbeat against her naked chest. The warm cocoon provided her with the comfort she desperately sought after, the feeling of being wanted chased the feelings of utter despair out of her heart.

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