Disclaimer: I don't think the rights to Kim Possible are under my tree this year, so the characters in this story still belong to Disney. Except the capybara. The capybara's all mine. But if Disney ever wants to borrow him, I guess I would be okay with that- in the spirit of Christmas.
"This was supposed to be the best Christmas ever," Ron complained to the capybara in front of him.
The giant rodent grunted sympathetically. Or at least Ron liked to think it sounded sympathetic, though the fact that it was staring intently at the bag of Smarty Mart brand Capybara Chow in his hands would seem to indicate that it was actually just hungry. Ron sighed and turned the bag over, emptying its contents into the furry creature's bowl.
Normally Ron Stoppable liked his job—at least as much as one could like work, anyway. But not tonight. Tonight he wasn't supposed to be here. Tonight was Christmas Eve.
Every year for as long as Ron could remember, he'd spent Christmas Eve with KP and her family. It was one of his favorite nights of the year. Sure, he liked—okay, loved—watching Snowman Hank. But the truth was, he could do that at home. It was really all about being with Kim and her family, drinking eggnog, putting up decorations, watching the Possible family Christmas skit—and most of all just enjoying the company of his best friend and seeing how happy the holidays made her.
Now she was more than just his best friend—she was his girlfriend!—and he'd been looking forward to Christmas Eve more than ever. Forget sugar plums; Ron had had visions of KP kisses under the mistletoe dancing through his head all month.
That is, until he got his work schedule a week ago.
"What kind of a place makes people work on Christmas Eve?" he groused. The capybara looked up briefly from its dinner, but gave no answer. Not that Ron had expected it to. Most animals weren't quite as talkative as Rufus. And tonight he didn't even have the naked mole rat to commiserate with. Ron hadn't wanted Rufus to miss out on the festivities too, so he'd dropped him off with Kim that afternoon, trying to put on a brave face as he did so—and suspecting that he was failing pretty miserably at it.
Of course, his present companion's lack of conversational skills didn't matter much. The answer to Ron's question was clear enough: the kind of place that makes people work on Christmas Eve was the kind of place that stood to make a lot of money from last-minute gift shoppers. Heck, he'd already sold three hippopotamuses... hippopotami... hippos, in just the few hours he'd been here. He couldn't argue with results like that.
But he could sure still feel sorry for himself.
As he'd already done more than once tonight, Ron allowed his mind to wander to Kim. He wondered what she was doing right now. Maybe decorating the tree, or singing carols, or watching the Christmas skit, or—
"Hi, Ron."
Ron looked up to see Kim standing there just a few feet in front of him, holding a large blue and silver gift bag in her hands and smiling.
"Oh, great," he said. "Now I'm hallucinating. I knew those candy canes in the break room tasted funny."
The hallucination smirked as it took a step closer. "Bet you still ate at least three of them, though, right?"
"Well, yeah, HalluciKim—free candy!"
HalluciKim took another step forward, rolling her eyes. "Ron, I am not a hallucination."
"That's what hallucinations always say."
She quirked an eyebrow at him—this was a very lifelike hallucination. "Exactly how many hallucinations have you had?"
Ron opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, the hallucination reached out and pinched his nose. "Hey, I—!" Ron stopped short, his eyes widening. "Kim?"
His girlfriend rolled her eyes again, but her smile was radiant. "Finally!"
"KP, I—you—what are you doing here?" he stuttered, vacillating between joy at seeing her and guilt at being the reason she wasn't back home where she belonged. "What about Christmas with your family?"
"Relax, Ron," Kim said, taking his hand. "The fam's here, too. Mom and Dad said they had some last-minute gift shopping to do," she said with a wink. "And the Tweebs—"
"Hey, Ron!" Jim called out as he and Tim charged towards them.
"Merry Christmas!" Tim added with a wave.
"Do you guys carry anacondas?"
"Uh…" Ron looked back and forth between the two boys dazedly. "Yeah... Aisle 6—'Giant Deadly Reptiles.'"
"Thanks!" the twins cried out in unison as they dashed off in the direction he was pointing.
"Ron," Kim said slowly, staring at him with a raised eyebrow. It was that look that Ron knew meant he was missing something obvious.
Which, at the moment, he wasn't too proud to admit was true. So, he asked. "What?"
The other red eyebrow rose up to meet its partner. "Ron, the Tweebs just asked to see your anacondas on Christmas Eve."
"Yeah..." he replied just as slowly. He knew all that… though now that he stopped and thought about it, something about the scenario did ring a bell for some—"Oh no!" he cried, eyes going wide. Kim nodded, and without another word, Ron spun around and went running towards Aisle 6. "Hey, no wrestling with the merchandise!"
In his panic, he didn't notice the bulky form that stepped out into his path until it was too late to stop. He ran straight into the orange-vested barrel chest and bounced backwards, landing on the floor with a painful thud.
"Stoppable!" a familiar voice barked.
Ron swallowed and looked up at the intimidating scowl of his fellow Smart Mart employee—and vice principal—Steve Barkin. "Sorry, Mr. Barkin, I—"
"Do I need to call a manager about this situation, Stoppable?"
"N-no, sir, I was just taking care of it!"
"Good. And by 'it' I assume you mean the fact that you have flagrantly violated state law by failing to take your 15-minute break," the older man said.
Ron blinked up at him. "Uh..."
"Because," Barkin continued, looking significantly at Kim as she came up beside Ron and helped him to his feet, "I suppose if you take your break right now, I could overlook it just this once."
Ron still just stood there staring at the man. Okay, he had established that Kim was real, but this had to be a candy-cane-induced hallucination. Kim elbowed him, and he finally managed to sputter out, "Oh, uh... thanks, Mr. Barkin. But—"
"I'll take care of the twin terrors," Barkin said. "You just worry about the law."
"Yes, sir!" Ron replied, grinning. He was almost tempted to salute, but thought better of it. Instead, he turned to Kim. "Snack bar?"
Kim nodded, and the two teens turned and headed towards the front of the store.
"Oh, and Stoppable," Mr. Barkin called after them. Ron spun back around. "Don't forget about the PDA rules."
Ron stared back at him in confusion.
"That's right," Barkin said, and Ron almost thought he actually saw the man wink. "Smarty Mart doesn't have any."
Ron's grin returned full force. He reached over and took Kim's hand, and tossed over his shoulder a quick "Thanks, Mr. B!" as they jogged off towards the snack bar.
"Merry Christmas, Stoppable," Barkin mumbled. Then he turned towards the racket now coming from Aisle 6 and rolled up his sleeves. "You owe me one."
Ron ordered two hot chocolates at the counter and then squeezed into one of the bench seats next to Kim. It wasn't snuggling in front of the fireplace like he'd been imagining all month—but it was nice just the same. Kim looked just as pretty under fluorescent lights as she would have in the firelight, he decided. He should tell her that...
But all that he could seem to get out past the sudden lump in his throat was, "Thanks for coming, KP. "
"Well, I had to give you your gift, didn't I?" Kim said with a smile, as she slid the blue and silver bag towards him. "It's a Kim-Ron tradition."
"Wow," Ron said, staring at the beautiful—and big—gift bag. "Um... yours isn't as big," he said sheepishly as he slipped the flat, rectangular package from his pocket.
"I'm sure I'll love it," Kim said, accepting the gift from him. "Can I open first?"
"Sure," Ron said, feeling suddenly nervous. Getting a Christmas gift for your best friend of 12 years was one thing. Getting one for your girlfriend of less than one year was something else entirely.
Kim tore away the green and gold wrapping paper enthusiastically, and Ron grinned. If there was anything that brought out KP's sense of childlike wonder, it was Christmas. But her excitement diminished visibly when she saw what was under all the pretty paper.
"A coupon book?" she asked, looking up at him.
Ron did his best not to look amused—just as she was doing her best not to look disappointed. He hoped he wasn't failing quite as badly as she was. "Come on, Kim, give it a chance. There are some pretty good deals in there. Just open it up and see."
Kim gave him a skeptical look, but she did as he asked, flipping the little booklet open to a random page in the middle and reading:
One Chick Flick of Your Choice*
*Not void under any circumstances, even if the latest Bricks of Fury just came out
Kim's expression was half confusion and half amusement as she looked up at her boyfriend. Ron didn't bother trying to hide his grin now. He just nodded for her to read another one, and Kim obediently turned to another page.
One Full Day of Clothes Shopping
Plus, one Complimentary (in both senses of the word) Boyfriend—excellent for carrying bags
By now, the confusion had left Kim's face, and she was grinning as widely as Ron as she continued to flip through the little book, finding coupons for home-cooked meals from Chef Ronald, post-mission back rubs, girls' nights out (no jealing included), and more.
"The last one's my favorite," Ron said, as he leaned over her shoulder to see what she was reading. Kim raised her eyebrows and turned to the back of the book.
Pure Ronshine, Straight from the Source*
*Exclusive to Kim Possible. Unlimited use. Never expires.
"Do you like it?" Ron asked.
Kim gave him the 'you're missing the obvious' look again. He found he still didn't mind. "I love it, Ron," she said, kissing his cheek. "It's officially my favorite coupon book ever."
Ron chuckled at that, and started to turn towards her in hopes of getting another kiss—and this time not on the cheek—but instead Kim pushed his present towards him again. "Your turn."
Ron eyed the large gift bag speculatively. "That reminds me—is Rufus here?"
Kim patted the left pocket of her coat. "Technically yes, but…"
"Too much eggnog?" Ron guessed.
Kim nodded. "Think you can handle this one on your own, Big Dog?"
Ron smirked. Kim had been trying new nicknames out on him ever since they started dating. Why this had been the one that finally stuck, he wasn't sure. But he was beginning to like it. "I'll do my best," he said, reaching into the bag and plucking out the sheets of sparkly tissue paper that covered the top.
He started to pull the bag over onto its side to look in, but Kim warned, "Be careful," so instead he stood up and reached straight down into the bag, getting his hands around the object inside and pulling it up and out.
"It's... a plant?" he said uncertainly as he set it down on the table and stared at it. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but a large terra cotta pot brimming over with leafy green things certainly wasn't it.
"Plants," Kim corrected him. "It's an herb garden. I thought it might be nice to be able to grow your own herbs to cook with."
"Oh," Ron said, now looking at the plants more closely—and taking note of their distinctive scents as well. "Coolio!"
"Yeah," Kim said, pointing. "See, there's sage, rosemary, thyme, and—" She plucked a leafy sprig from one of the plants and dangled it over her head with an impish smile. "Parsley."
Much to Ron's pride and Kim's delight, there was no need for the 'missing the obvious' look from her this time. When it came to recognizing opportunities to kiss KP, Ron could be a very quick learner.
Fifteen minutes later, Ron strolled back into the Smarty Mart pet department, whistling "Jingle Bells".
He leaned against the capybara's cage and gazed down at the giant rodent with a contented grin. "Yep," he said, "best Christmas ever."
And, though it was probably just indigestion, Ron could have sworn he saw that capybara smile right back.
The End
Merry Christmas!