Chapter 1: The Letter

It was 11:59 on a Saturday night and Bill Dauterive was all alone as usual. He sat at the kitchen table finishing writing something on a piece of paper. He then looked up and saw it a midnight. Bill sighed very sadly and put the letter he had been writing in an envelope and sealed it, got up, taped the envelope onto the bathroom door and and walked in. Then everything went black.

The following Monday, around 6 PM, Hank and the rest of the gang were in the alley drinking Alamo beer as usual. Hank then noticed that Bill was not there.

"Anyone seen Bill today?" Hank asked flatly.

"Nope," said Dale as he took a puff from his cigarette. "I haven't seen him since Saturday. Maybe he had a heart attack since he is so fat."

"Dang man," Boomhauer said in disgust. "You shouldn't joke about something like that! Especially about Bill! He doesn't deserve to be treated the way YOU treat him!"

All Hank and Dale heard was "Dang man. That... Bill... Deserve to be treated..."

"Absolutely right, Boomhauer," Hank said obliviously. "Bill IS asking to have his arteries clogged! Hee hee."

"You disgust me," Boomhauer muttered under his breath. "I would have never stayed friends with you two IF it weren't for Bill!"

"Well I'm going to check up on him," Hank said. "I'm sure he's all right.

But what happened next was far from being all right. The very next thing Rainy Street heard was Hank screaming loudly in horror. For Hank had discovered a dead Bill hanging from his shower curtain rod with his wrists. Hank was so horrified that he ran out of the bathroom to vomit on the carpet and never noticed the envelope taped to the door that said "READ ME." Hank didn't even know about it until one of the paramedics who came to take the body away pointed it out. Clutching it in his hand, a very distraught Hank Hill went home.

"So you just walked in and found Bill dead?!" Peggy asked in a horrified voice. "I mean I've always known he was depressed but I NEVER expected him to kill himself!"

"I did," Bobby said sadly. "It was pretty apparent to me, Connie, and Joseph. Even Luann and Lucky wondered how long before it happened."

"Why didn't you say something, Bobby?!" Hank asked raising his voice.

"I DID say something but YOU two ignored it and said that Mr. Dauterive was always looking for attention. WHICH none of his so called "best friends" ever gave him aside from Mr. Boomhauer."

Hank finally opened the envelope and found a letter. He took one look at it and gasped.

"What is it, dear?" Peggy inquired.

"It's a suicide note!" Hank replied in a horrified tone. Hank the read the letter aloud.

"To Whomever Finds This Letter,

I, Sergeant William Fontaine de la Tour Dauterive, have decided to take my own life. This is my own decision and I will not regret making it. It's not like anyone cares about me. Today was my birthday and once again no one in Arlen wished me a "Happy Birthday" aside from Bobby, Joseph, Connie, Luann and Lucky, and my only friend Boomhauer. No one except those six would care if I lived or died. I am nothing but a pathetic sack of lard to these people. A joke. I am constantly put down and made fun of by almost everyone I know and the ONLY reason I don't say anything about how much it hurts is because this is the ONLY type of attention anyone will give me and I am also a human being who needs attention. I give constant cries for help and they go unnoticed. I'm worthless and I might as well end it all now because no one ever wants me around them.

Sincerly,

Bill Dauterive

P.S. Please tell Gilbert that I am sorry that he is now the last blood Dauterive left."

"It wasn't Bill's birthday on Saturday," Hank said flatly.

"Oh yes it was, Dad," Bobby replied. "I know because it was marked on the calendar."
Peggy looked at the calendar and gasped as she saw that the square of the past Saturday was circled in red and had "Bill's Birthday" written on it.

"Oh my God! We FORGOT Bill's birthday!" Peggy gasped. "Hank, we are HORRIBLE people!"

"Yes you are," Bobby said coldly.

"BOBBY!" Hank said agrily. "That is NO way to talk to your parents!"

"But it's true," Bobby insisted. "I mean you, Dad, always said that without a lawn, you'd be Mr. Dauterive. And YOU, Mom, have said multiple times that being around him usually made you sick to your stomach. You two always were putting Mr. Dauterive down behind his back and laughing at how sad his life was. And don't even get me started on the time he was screaming for eight hours so loud that I heard him through my window WHICH was closed at the time because you Dad were mad at him having new friends that lifted weights with him in his garage and you felt uncomfortable being around them and you ignored his screams for help out of anger and Mr. Dauterive ended up with a prolapsed rectum after YOU decided to help about eight hours of excruciating pain later and HE had to recover from his injury for six painful months."

"You're right, Bobby," Peggy sighed as she hugged her son. "We should have NEVER said or did all those mean spirited things to Bill."

"It's too late now," Bobby replied. "Apologizing and repenting isn't going to bring Mr. Dauterive back now is it?"

"Apologize?" Hank asked. "For what? I have done nothing wrong."

"You are so unbelievably dense," Peggy said in disgust. She then left the room with Bobby.