AN: Lyrics to Evanescence's "My Immortal" used. I don't own. First story posted and it's a one-shot that's rather depressing...
You've been gone for so many years, but I can still feel you there. It's as if you've never even left. It's comforting, in a sick way. You're holding me back, I know that. You're keeping me bound. You won't leave me alone.
We've spent so much time together, I can remember it all. The time we first met, when our friendship tipped into new territory. We shared everything for so long, though it was so little. We had so many firsts together, and too many lasts.
It's like you enjoy watching me tear myself apart. Even now that you're gone, you still have me leashed. You have all of me. This is worse then the time you left me alone for all those years. Worse because I know this time you'll never be coming back.
It's worse because time can't ever earse all that we've shared. The tears have never bothered to leave. Babe, I'm a heroine addict in withdrawl. Withdrawl from you.
You were a true fallen angel, blinded in the race to become the superior. Blinded, though so determined and compassionate. You're emotions were always so strong and strung out. Maybe you never realized, it was the true downfall of you.
All the holes that riddled me, never compared to the pain that I'm feeling everyday in my chest. None of the wounds have healed.
Everyone thinks I've lost it. I'll admit, maybe I have. You've chased away all the sanity in me. What am I suppose to do when you're the only one who's ever made any sense? You were so destructive, you knew so well how much I needed you to even wake up each morning. I miss your touches, your light kisses. Those rough whisperes. The tears you would shed, I'd wiped them all away. When you screamed with pure agony, I tried so hard to fight away all of your fears and pain.
There is no one else left for me. I'm meant for no one, other then you. Please, don't hateme when I say, you're self-fish. Self-fish from removing yourself from my sight. You were my structure. Maybe it's hypocrisy, that I'll continue to live with this. The lingering of you, how you'll always have all of me. Forever. I miss you, God, do I miss you babe.
I'm wiping a tear away, fingerings brushing against the cold stone. I've told myself so many times that you're gone, but you're still with me. I'm sorry I couldn't have saved you. I love you.