"No! It has to be pink!" Zero screeched, slamming into Harpuia as he tried to replace the sheets on Zero's bed with green ones.

"But the pink ones need to be washed!" Harpuia said, kicking Zero off him and tried to keep him down with his foot planted on his head.

"Pink ones! Pink ones! Pink ones! PINK ONES!" Zero said, clawing at Harpuia's leg.

"OMAIGAWD, SHUT THE HECK UP, ZERO!" Leviathan said, bursting into the room, while holding a butter knife quite threateningly.

"I want the pink sheets!" Zero whined and began to cry. "Pink ones!"

"But it's not Wednesday!" Leviathan said. "Why do you want pink on a Saturday?"

Zero sniffled, "Because they're soft and plushy and soft and cuddly and soft and pretty and my favorites. Did I say they're really soft?"

"..." Harpuia glared at Zero, who was now sitting in a fetal position. "What would you do if I said that they'd get softer if we washed them?"

"How much softer?" Zero questioned, sounding hopeful, but not looking hopeful.

"Over nine-thousand?" Leviathan tried.

Zero jumped up into a rabid-fangirl-who-just-saw-her-favorite-character-doing-surprise-yaoi-with-her-other-favorite-character position. "Nine-thousand?" he said, and ran from the room yelling "Dragon Ball Z reference!" down the hall.

"I thought he would have started laughing and rolling on the floor, but at least he's gone" Leviathan said, walking away.

"Oh, yeah, you helped me so much. Let me get stabbed to death with a pen when he sees the new sheets!"

"I'll hide the pens."

"No. He'll find a way to stab me with a piece of paper."

"I'll put him in a straightcoat."

"That's not going to work. He'll just push stuff on me."

"I'll chain him to the ground."

"He'd pull them our of the ground and use them as wrecking balls."

"I'll put him in a cold medicine induced sleep."

"He'll wake up high."

"I'll rape him."

"That's... a little too much. Can girls even rape guys?"

"Nothing's impossible with Zero."

"True..."

"I'm going to-"

"OVER NINE-THOUUUUSAAAANNND!" Zero ran in with a calculator. "Dividing one million by three is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Fefnir said, sticking his head though the door and had what appeared to be a clock hand and glass in his hair and on his shoulders.

"You're most scrumdiddlydumtiously welcome, Sargent Sarcasm!" Zero saluted, and bowed.

"That was uncalled for." Fefnir growled.

"The clock was a perfect target for my calculator archery!" Zero said, throwing the calculator at the ceiling.

Bzzt!

"...Oops." Zero looked up at the shattered ceiling lamp.

"Oh, great!" Harpuia said, exasperated. "Zero, you need to go be crazy somewhere else!"

"Ehh?" Zero whined, once again assuming the fetal position on the ground, clutching the calculator.

Fefnir kicked Zero. Irritated by that, Zero bit his socked covered foot. Fefnir shrieked and fell over, pinching Zero's noes while he dug his nails into Fefnir's wrist. Fefnir kicked his leg, jerking Zero's head back and, in return, Zero crouched and head-butted Fefnir in the stomach. They both fell over, but Fefnir recovered recovered before Zero and slammed his fist on Zero's back. Zero then punched Fefnir in the slim reaper, got up, and walked away triumphantly while Fefnir was writhing in pain.

Harpuia and Leviathan stared.

"Zero, if Fefnir dies, you're paying for the funeral." Leviathan said.

"Aww, he gets a funeral?" Zero said. "I thought you were just going to rip up his body and give it to the ravens to eat!"

"That's a disturbing thought." Harpuia said. "Maybe we want to feed his body to the fishes? That's be cleaner."

"Can I throw his body into the ocean?" Zero inquired.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you're dangerous enough with a leaf."

"Why?"

"Because you belong in an asylum."

"Why?"

"Because you're crazy."

"Why?"

"Because you were born."

"Why?"

"Because some one decided to make you."

"Why?"

"Because they were insane."

"Why?"

"Because the just were."

"Why?"

"Why are you saying why?"

"Why do ask why?

"Just wondering."

"Why?"

"Shut up."

"Why?"

"Zero, shut up."

"Why?"

"Zero!"

"What?"

"Shut. Up. Now."

"...Wh-"

Harpuia slapped Zero.

Leviathan and Fafnir gasped.

Zero stared at Harpuia. He reached into his pocked, and pulled out a pen. Harpuia, suddenly terrified, backed away.

"...You hit me." Zero said. "Why would you do that?"

"Y-you wouldn't be quiet."

"Why?" Zero raised the pen.

"I-I dunno... You were... uh... just..." Harpuia stammered.

"Just what?" Zero clicked the pen.

"Just trying to amuse yourself?" He tried.

"Maybe." Zero began to-

Authors Note:

Sorry, I'm not into writing gory scenes. Considering what you've just read, you can assume what Zero's gonna do, right? I'll leave it to you to decide how. Oh, the pen's blue, by the way.