"You're publishing my diary?"
I couldn't believe this. I first found out as I watched the little box on the table that had people inside them. A commercial had come on trying to sell me…these things. I honestly don't know what they were! But anyway, after that a commercial had come on and started talking about this book, and I was very interested because it looked very interesting! So I went online and guess what?
…HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER HAS BEEN SELLING MY DIARY FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS! Everything. Everything I have written down knowing, hoping, that only I would know is now going world wide.
Harry sat there with his usual smirk plastered to his godlike features. "I thought you wouldn't have to find out about it this way…" Damn pauses. "But I guess this way was best." He flashed a cheeky smile at my person and sauntered to where the kitchen was (better not be thinking about eating my soufflé).
"Just think of it this way." He called to me from wherever the hell he was. "Now we can have more flexible funds!"
I grumbled. I didn't want more money…I wanted a place where I could trustfully place my thoughts and dreams and hopes with my ambitions…I wanted someone to confide in about the latest gossip in the inner circle. Like how Lucius is dating that hag from the bar. Or how Nott is bent in all the wrong places. Yuck. I never really wanted to find out about that.
…I'm really off topic.
I like that new…Stop it! Focus on the task at hand!
"I don't care about the money!" I spitted angrily. "I refuse to let you get any where near my diary as of now!" Throwing down my Witch Weekly Fashion of Tomorrow magazine, I went to my bedroom and flung my pillows off my bed ad grabbed my diary and began to write and occasionally draw a picture to compensate for anything I cannot explain with words.
Which is where I find myself now.
So far I've drawn a centaur next to a unicorn.
I think it's pretty.
Yes. I am the darkest Dark Lord. It's kinda like if you were to compare the dark lords to chocolate. They're like milk chocolate compared to my dark chocolateness.
Cause I'm that evil.
Muahaha…aha.
NO POSSIBLE SIDE AFFECTS.
COMMERCIAL TIME!
For limited time you can own the complete set of the "Dark Me" series, including the talking Voldemort Doll (Complete with Nagini) that says the ever so catching catch phrase "Cause I'm that evil," AND, "WHERE IS MY SOUFFLE POTTER?"
Buy now for the awesome price of 24.56! Because I can. Yea. We're that evil.
"Like oh my God…I have my own doll! Bye bye Barbie! Hello~ Voldie!"
Harry sighed in the distance, "I knew he would enjoy this too much…"