Looking at her back all Severus could hear was his heart breaking.
How could she do this to him, she was his bestfriend. No, it was his fault. He knew it. Why did he say it, he was a fool, but why that word.
Of all the words he could have said why that one?
It was a line he shouldn't have crossed and he crossed it, there was no going back.
After days and days of being ignored by lily he became more and more gloomy. Thinking about their friendship, more like their currently non-existing friendship his eyes began to tear and water.
But he knows he shouldn't, he needed to be strong like a slytherin. But now looking back at his once strong friendship with Lily he contiplated at what he did wrong.
After awhile of thinking to himself realized he completely pushed her away to gain acknowledgment from the other slytherins and for what? A nod and a reason and chance for them to use him? It was fake all fake.
He knew but he still did it, and it was all his fault.
But what about Lily, what about their friendship. Was a single word Strong enough to to break their 7 year friendship? No she wouldn't do that he knew.
Did he even apologize properly?
Trying to remember he realized he could only say her name before he became tongue tied and ran away in ember restatement before she could say anything.
Sighing now, he felt he really was in the wrong. He needed to properly apologize. But honestly could he? He never really started or had any proper conversation with anyone. He couldn't even properly look at someone's eyes without looking down on the floor.
Most of his conversation consist of insults, hmm, yes, no, and answers to questions which was also not much considering he only usually talked to Lily and Proffeser slughorn.
Whenever he tried to speak he gets tongue tied and fumble over his words. But he needed to practice to stay friends with Lily.
Okay, he had an idea. He would write what he was going to say down and practice like it was a test.
And with that brilliant plan Severus knew what he was going to write down, but before that he was interrupted by a knock.
"Hey Snape are you there?" A seventh year senior came in. It was Evan Rosier. Evan Rosier was a pure blood and heir to the Rosier line, not only that but his father was one of You-Know-Who's first followers in his years so he was well known amongst the slytherind and future death eaters.
Although Rosier was two years ahead of him he would often come into Severus room and ask him to do his Advance potions homework for him. Of course not without a price.
"No, I'm busy." Said Severus plainly as he paid no head to the pure blood.
"You didn't even hear me out" Muttered Rosier.
"No."
"Not even 6 galleons?"
"No" His friendship was more important then money.
"10"
"No"
Rosier frowned as he looked at Severus aggressively writing. Approaching him he took Severus paper.
"Huh? A love letter to that muggle?"
"Give that back!" Shouted Severus.
"Why don't I do it for you and you can do the potions homework for me it a fair trade."
"W-what?" Did just hear what he heard from the pure blood?
"I have a lot of experience...and with the way I see this it'll get you no where. Face it with this your relationship is as good as gone." Rosier sat down crumpled the price of paper and threw it into the the trash then took out anouther paper and began to write. "Now sho, sho, a deals a deal and don't worry I'll still give you the galleons since this is so easy for someone like me." He smirked haughtily.
"20 galleons."
"Hey-"
"Don't think I don't know your 'homework' is your last final project for your seventh year. Not only that but it's worth a lot, you're not the only one who asked me to help, not only that but it's due in 3 days."
To say the least Evan Rosier was more desperate, shown in his attitude.
"Yeah, yeah..." Either way, to Rosier it was fine, as heir to his house hold he spent much more and didn't worry about money so it didn't really matter.
Gritting his teeth Severus went to the library and quickly finished Rosiers homework. It was easy and didn't take more then an hour and a half. Severus loved making up his own potions and writing up reports about it so just using his old ideas and refining it was easy.
Reading what Rosier had written Severus frowned and ask" are you sure?"
"Yeah of course, who do you think I am, I'm an expert in this type of situation and if all goes well she'll be running back in your arms."said Rosier." Are you doubting my skills?"
"Okay then..."
What Severus didn't know was that Rosier had written a love letter not an apology speech...
What Evan Rosier didn't know was that Severus wanted a apology speech so at his best he wrote a love letter( a pretty crappy love letter) for Severus to Lily Evans. Although Rosier was taught to hate muggles and mud bloods as a Slytherin he put self success over carring about such things.
So that night Severus recited the letter over and over for three continuous days.
"Lily I'm sorry, in your heart and soul won't you ever forgive me? My heart beats for you, can't you come back to me? Since day one I loved you, and like the first day we rode the train won't our hearts continue forward. Unlike James I'm better suited for you..." For some reason he thought that the last sentence sounded odd since he was only asking for friendship back but in desperation he continued on.
So the next day came and Severus was prepared. He thought it was too soon but he had to do it, it was almost summer so he might not get anouther chance since it would be worse for him if she continued to ignore him and not see him under the large tree they'd always meet.
Throughout the day Lily was ignoring him like usual, and he was hesitant and tounge tied(as usual).
About to give up as everyone went into the dinning halls for supper. He could feel a tap on his shoulder.
It was Evan Rosier.
"This is the perfect chance, ask her to follow you to halls and tell her what you have to say." Winking Rosier walked pass Severus and went to the slytherins table.
With that Severus felt courage and with the little courage he had, he walked to Lily. Not realizing his pace began to slow and Lily had already sat down at her table. He began to falter, but it was already to late.
"What are you doing here Snaps." Frowned James, who was sitting three seats away from Lily (Hence the noticible figure of Severus).
Soon other people from the griffondoor began to notice his presence and more eyes were on him.
"Snivellus don't tell me you're here to bother Lily well she won't see you, so you should just get lost."
"I-I L-Lily umm-uh" Severus began to stutter.
"What?"
Breathing Severus didn't know what to say. Severus didn't know why but for some reason everything slowed down infront of him, and for some reason at that time said the words that he had continuously practiced. But to bad due to physiological reasons all the words began to be mixed up and erased and in his anxiety Severus was clearly not thinking straight.
"My heart...Uh...S-Since day one... I loved you...O-On the train...James...?"
It was total absolute silence, the usually loud hall filled with sounds trying to burry other sounds was so quiet that you couldn't hear a pin drop...
W-what did I say? It took a few seconds before Severus could go back and slowly digest his words.
On the Slytherin table trying to hide his laugh Rosiers face was red as he held in his breath, trying to relax he Breathed, and breathed to hold it in.
Although it sounded like he was hyperventilating at first, he gradually claimed down.
Trying not to look at Severus current situation he turned to a drink, which happened to be a chunky Pumkin Juice, and in one gulp drank it, but it wasn't a millisecond after that, that he turned his sight back to Severus and saw the figure of potter leaping into Severus to bring the Slytherin into a hug.
"Severus, I love you too, I've always had. From the beginning on the train, I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've done. But I promise you, I will treat you like you deserve and spoil you for the rest of your life!"
Evan Rosier, Age 17, future death eater, heir of the Rosier house and fortune, a senior student of the slytherins, Chaser of the Slytherin team, had thought, of all the ways to die, he died while choking on his pumpkin Juice.