I don't own Gundam Wing or any characters. I wrote this a very long time ago and just fixed the many, many mistakes.
7:00am. Duo is in the shower and Hilde is at the mirror doing her hair. Hilde is starting to get a little mad because the steam is fogging up the mirror. And to make matters worse, Duo is singing in the shower.
"I've got love on the brain, and it's driving me insane. I've gotta get through to you somehow! It ca-" Duo is cut off by Hilde. "Duo! Shut up! I can't stand that song anymore!" She complains.
"fine, I'll sing something else... Hi there little boys and girls! Fuck you! Today we're gonna learn how to poison squirrels! But first; meet my friend Bob. Say hi, Bob! Hi Bob!".
Hilde turns towards the shower where Duo is singing. She notices the toilet right beside it. She thinks of flushing it. Then, on her left shoulder, a little Hilde with black bat wings appears "do it!" it says "he's really pissing you off, isn't he?". Hilde nods.
Another little Hilde appears on her right shoulder. This one looks nicer, like an angle. "Hilde. Duo's your best friend. You wouldn't do that to him! Don't listen to con-Hilde!" It pleads.
Con-Hilde butts in "yes you would! It'll be funny!".
"But Hil-- no doooon't!" (FLUSSSSSHHH!!).
"AAH! HILDE!!!!!!" Duo yelps as he retreats from the hot water, grabbing the plastic shower curtains to hide his shame. One by one, the curtain rings give way, sending Duo off balance and tumbling to the bathroom floor. Flailing limbs become tangled in a cocoon of wet plastic and long, un-braided hair.
Hilde laughs hysterically at his expense.
A couple hours later at the Peacecraft mansion. Releena is in her bedroom standing in front of a large mirror, inspecting her navy blue, formal dress "hmm... Heero? do you think this dress is too dark?"
"nope" Heero says from on the bed where he's lying on his back staring at the ceiling.
"You're not even looking!" Releena says, annoyed.
Heero turns his head to the side and looks at her "It looks fine Releena!".
Releena stairs back at the mirror "I don't know... maybe blue isn't my color". She starts to un button the front of the dress.
"Releena, NOTHING is wrong with that dress" Heero argues with her.
"well then YOU wear it!" She yells back at him.
"But when I wear women's cloths, people throw garbage at me" Heero says with a little smirk.
Releena laughs "yea, well. It makes my butt look fat too...".
Heero gets off the bed and proceeds to push her out the door "Releena... nobody cares if your ass looks fat, but you. Now we have to leave now, or you'll be late".
She looks at the watch on Heeros arm. She actually was getting late. She was supposed to announce the opening of the War Heroes Hall of Fame today. But for some reason, she felt really nervous. Heero had come to her mansion to help her get ready that morning.
After finally making it out to the driveway where the limo was waiting. They see Duo and Hilde waiting to wish her good luck. Hilde could tell she was nervous and so could Duo.
All of a sudden, a little Duo-devil appears on Duos left shoulder "got the note? Good. Now all you have to do is hug her!".
Another little Duo-devil appears on Duos other shoulder "heh, yea. But try not to laugh or you'll give it away!". "stick it on there REALY good now!".
Duo gives Releena a big friendly hug "good luck, Peacecraft!". He stands back and smiles at the confused look on her face.
Hilde laughs "oh don't mind him Releena. His head fried in the shower and now he's stupider then normal".
"Hey! ...............shut up!" Duo tries to defend himself.
Releena laughs "well, I better go. Bye!".
Releena turns and joins Heero in the backseat of the limo.
Hilde sees the 'impeach me' note on her back "Duo!!". Duo finally lets himself laugh out loud. "I can't believe you! I'm gonna call Heero and te-...... actually, I kinda wanna see what happens".
Meanwhile, at the preventors station. Everyone is bored out of their minds. Sally is waiting for her slow computer to send some files away. Wufei is leaning far back in his chair holding himself with his feet pushed under his desk, daydreaming.
All of a sudden, Wufei hears a click underneath him. He gets off his chair to see what it was and sees a bolt lying on the ground. "Ah crap…"
Sally watches him bending over, twisting the bolt back into his chair. She then notices a pencil on the far side of her desk. She then looks at the fabric of Wufeis traditional Chinese pants. An evil grin crosses her face. Then a little Sally-angel appears on her right shoulder "Sally! how could you even think of doing that!?". A Sally-devil appears on her left shoulder "go for it! He's an asshole to everyone in the office! You'd be a Hero!".
"Yea, maybe con's right there, but it will trash your 'good worker' reputation! And then goodbye raise!".
"But it will also help your 'clown at work' reputation! Come on! His nickname is already 'stick ass'!" the Sally-devil laughs.
Sally chuckles. She thinks for a moment "hmm.... nah. Not today". She goes back to work.
Releena sits tensely in the back of the limo beside Heero, who looks pretty calm. She fidgets with the pre-written speech she held in her hands 'Why am I so nervous? I do things like these all the time! And Heero said I look fine. Speaking of Heero. I wonder if they'd let me take him into the hall. ...Maybe not. These things tend to bore him. ............. these seats are comfy! I like them ALOT better than those last ones. They were leather. I hate leather seats. I wonder if Heero likes these seats too? I doubt he'd be thinking of seats. ........yep ........I like grapes. Not so much the red seeded ones, but the green ones. Those ones are the best! Who says food has to be unhealthy to be good? And some unhealthy foods are gross. Those Pogo stick things. They're hotdogs on a stick wrapped in bread crust! Eew! Those were horrible! I remember when Hilde and me went to that Chinese place.... what was it called? ..... I tried translating it.... I guessed 'New Food' ..... new food..... Young Chow! that's it! They made gross vegetable soup! Ooh! But the steak there was AWSOME! I don't usually eat meat, but it was so tempting! Well done, juicy..... tender.... uh oh, I made myself hungry. ...Hey wait a second.... I just ate breakfast! Maybe I THINK I'm hungry, but I'm really not! Wow! I didn't know my brain could do that! Cool! Hey, What else can my brain do? ........ hmm.....' Releena Looks at Heero sitting beside her, staring out the window at the passing buildings 'I know! I'll make Heero look like..... Treize! Releena concentrates hard on Heeros face .......................hey! Yea! Now that I think about it, He does look a lot like Treize! The hair is kinda the same, and he has the same lips! I wonder if they're related somehow... I guess it's possible. I didn't know Milliardo was my brother until a few years ago. So... And Heero doesn't know who his family is. Treize might not know he has a little brother! Hey! And if Heero really is a Kushrinada, then he's royal! Like Me!'
"...what?" Heero finally notices Releena has been staring at him for quite a while.
Releena snaps back into reality "...nothing". She turns away and stares out the car window.
Quatre is taking a walk along side a stretch of lake on his property. He notices a sea-doo in the near-distance. He walks up to it and notices that the owner left the key in it. He looks around for anyone who might own it.
A little Quatre-angel appears on his right shoulder "Quatre! That's stealing! You know stealing's wrong!" it scolds.
"Huh?" Quatre looks at it confused.
Another little Quatre-angel appears on his left shoulder "he's right Quatre. You wouldn't want people to take your things without your permission".
"That's true" Quatre agrees.
The first Quatre-angel continues "now, just walk away...".
Suddenly, a little Trowa-devil appears on Quatre's head "If you want it, take it. Whoever owns this is probably an asshole anyway".
"It's dangerous! And there are no life jackets!" The first Quatre-angel argues.
"he can swim" Trowa-devil shrugs.
"not across the lake! And even if he does manage to stay on it, he's gonna get caught! Think of the consequences!".
"fuck that! Just take iiiiit!" Trowa-devil yells into Quatres ear.
Quatre grabs Trowa-Devil off of his head and holds him out in front of him "I'm not a thief. And besides, aren't you supposed to be telling Trowa to... recklessly try to overthrow the government and steal things?" Quatre looks at the little Trowa squirming in his grip. Trowa-devil stops struggling and thinks about that.
At that very moment, Trowa is sitting in his small rugged circus trailer cleaning an expensive sniper rifle and picking at a sticker marking it as government property. He pauses "…What the hell am I doing? Guns just aren't cool all of a sudden". He looks at the messy room around him "And why do I have the feeling I should have done something more constructive with my life?".
During Sally and Wufeis break. Sally goes to get some coffee when she hears some people laughing hysterically in the office lounge. She walks into the lounge and looks at the TV with Releena Peacecraft walking onto a stage in a beautiful, dark blue dress. The camera zooms in on a little yellow square on her back that reads 'impeach me'.
Sally spits out her coffee in laughter.
Hilde and Duo are watching the same thing on the TV in their house. Each laughing. On the TV, a police officer walks up to Releena and tells her about the note and why the people were laughing. Releena reaches back and grabs the note when she felt it. She reads it and immediately, her whole face turns red, making the people laugh harder.
Releena tries to control herself. She then continues with her prepared speech, trying to hold back tears.
10:00pm. At Heeros apartment. Heero is watching some comedy show on his small TV. He laughs long and hard at something funny that just happened on the show. Yes, he's very different when he's all alone... . There is a knock at the door and he does his best to stop laughing. He turns the TV off and opens the door.
Releena is standing in the hallway looking miserable with tears streaming down her face.
"How'd it go?" Heero asks, oblivious to the disaster. He remembers the funny thing he had just seen on his TV and struggles to contain his returning laughter.
Releena immediately assumes that he's laughing at what happened to her earlier, knowing it was on live TV. Then it occurs to her that HEERO was the last one to give her a hug or touch her in any way that could have put a note on her. She gets so mad, steam could have shot out of her ears. She winds up and slaps Heero so hard that it was heard on the floor below. She then runs away crying.
Heero, shocked, stumbles from the impact and leans on the door frame. He watches her run "it couldn't have been THAT bad!".
Some time later, at Hilde and Duos house. The doorbell rings rapidly. Duo gets off the couch and runs to the door wearing grey sweatpants and a Harley Davidson t-shirt "I'M COMING!!" He yells. He opens the door to see Releenas face, drenched in tears 'Oh Shit!'. He braces himself for the pending beating but instead she slips around him and walks inside the house. She then turns around and faces him "Heero did the most horrible thing ever!" she cries.
Duo is relieved to know that she thinks it was Heero. But then, The little Duo-devil re-appears "this is awsome! Not only did we just get away with the best prank ever, but we can now get back at Heero for trying to kill us so many times!".
Then, just as fast. a little Quatre-angel appears on his other shoulder "Duo, it's a horrible thing you did to Releena and I don't think it's fair that Heero has to pay!".
"Quatre angel??" Duo looks confused at the Quatre-angel "aren't you supposed to be with Kat?".
"Oh, it's ok. Duo-devil 2 and Trowa-devil said they'd cover for me. And Quatre-angel 2 went with Trowa" He says casually.
At that very moment, Quatre is in his green camouflage combat suit, laying under some shrubs in his huge back yard, holding an air rifle.
Rashid walks up to one of the guards in the near distance "Dustin! Have you seen master Quatre lately?" He asks.
The guard shrugs "nope, not since this morning".
"oh, well if you do, call me, because he's been miss- (bang!) AH! *gasp* AAAAAAAAAAAH!! MY LEG!!" Rashid yells as he looks at a little hole in his left thigh.
The guard stares at him in shock, then he looks around for the shooter.
Rashid limps away as fast as he can and gets shot again in the ass.
The guard flees in fear of getting shot himself.
"nice shot Q-man!" Duo-devil compliments, sitting on the blondes shoulder ruffling Quarters hair. Trowa-devil is sitting calmly on his other shoulder "now, with them distracted nobody will notice when we begin wreaking havoc on the corporate establishments and battling the consumer-driven capitalist dictatorship!"
"…what?" Quatre stairs at him.
Thus coming to the end of my story. It really wasn't supposed to have a plot of any kind, but things just happened. And if you wanna know wut happened. Trowa, with Quatres conscience, got a job at the animal shelter and got accepted into college for zoology. Quatre, with Trowas conscience, used his political influence to put the evil corporations out of business and gave power back to the people, resulting in epic failure and dramatic plot twists as is the general style of Gundam Wing. And as for Duo and Hilde's little secret. Duo tells Heero like a responsible adult-- After jumping in front of a bus to put himself in a hospital and waiting till he's in a wheelchair to tell Heero because he know's Heero wouldn't go as low as to hit a guy in a wheelchair. Smart, eh? And if you like happy endings; Releena finds out it was Duos idea and forgives Heero. They have a good laugh, get married, have dozens- no- hundreds of kids and live happily ever after.
And if you want a sad ending; Duo waited so long to tell the truth and Releena broke up with Heero and he... died?