I Quit.

Zelda looked up from the piles of maps and letters scattered about her as a tall Sheikan man strode through the open doorway.

"Princess Zelda, a letter has arrived for you."

"Another?" Zelda sighed heavily, dreading more bad news of Ganondorf's evil plans seeping into the very woodwork of Hyrule. What poor unsuspecting corner of her country had been accosted by his evil forces now? The Sheikah handed her the scroll.

As the man hurriedly left, (off to continue fulfilling a never-ending list of tasks in the effort against Ganondorf no doubt), Zelda broke the sigma-less seal of wax and slowly unrolled the letter. She glanced at the signature.

She stared wide-eyed.

"It's from Link!" she murmured to herself.

Dear Zelda,

I would like to start by saying that this Hero of Time business is crap. Now that that's been said I know you will be demanding an explanation. You like to demand things and since I usually am pretty good at letting you have your way I'll oblige you with one.

You must first understand—and I know that will be hard for you—but I never wanted to be a Child of Destiny. All I ever wanted was to be Link the Kokiri—not Link the Child of Destiny—not Link the Hero of Time—not Link the guy who Zelda tells what to do because she's too lazy to get off her Royal Highness and do it herself. I just wanted to be an ordinary Kokiri and be a child forever, playing in the forest with Saria, talking with the Great Deku Tree, learning songs to play on my ocarina.

I admit I wasn't liked by many of the other Kokiri. They thought I was a weirdo cuz I didn't have a fairy guardian. Mido bullied me around a lot. But this was all okay. Saria was my best friend. It didn't matter that things weren't perfect because she was always there for me.

And then it happened. A fairy finally came to me. Her name was Navi. She was pretty cool except the first thing she does when she meets me is demand I go see the Great Deku Tree. I thought this was all pomp and ceremony. Boy was I an idiot.

I finally get a fairy, and it turns out that the reason I need a fairy is because the Deku Tree intends to demand that I go and destroy the parasite inside of him and for this I need a fairy to guide me. This is crap.

But I think to myself, 'Hey, why not? After all the Great Deku Tree is the Guardian Spirit of the forest. Why not help him?' But no, it's not that simple is it? I go destroy the parasite Queen Ghoma, and for what? The Deku Tree dies!

There goes all hope I ever had of getting some friends with my new fairy. I've just killed the father and Guardian Spirit of the Kokiris. But it doesn't stop there—oh no! The Deku Tree, before he dies, gives me a green stone called the Spiritual Stone of the Forest and then conveniently informs me that I'm a Child of Destiny and I have to LEAVE THE FOREST! Do you understand what this means to a Kokiri? Allow me to enlighten you.

The Kokiri are the children of the forest and they live forever under the watchful eye of the Great Deku Tree. They are the mysterious children who never age and are bathed in the splendor and light of the Great Deku Tree's love and affection. They never stray far from his enveloping embrace. And they never leave the forest. Heck, they even had a rumor going that you die if you try to.

Yet my spiritual father tells me that I must fulfill my destiny by seeking out the Princess of Destiny (that would be you). To do this I must go into the Land of Hyrule.

Well, it's not like there was much holding me back. The Kokiri were going to hate me after what had happened. Mido managed to emphasize this point when he yelled at me as I was leaving. But I wasn't completely remorseful. Saria met me at the bridge on the edge of the forest and gave me her ocarina. I appreciated this very much. I left with newfound optimism. I felt confident the Kokiri would forgive me once I became 'Link Somebody' and fulfilled my destiny. By the way… I hate that word, destiny.

It wasn't long before I met you. Ah yes! I remember it like yesterday. The sun was shining, the birds singing, and you had your nosy little face pressed up against the glass panes of the throne room window, spying on your father and his guest. You're such a snoop. But I didn't think that way about you then. I was too innocent, too stupid. You seemed like the fairytale princess you should have been, with your girly giggles and proper mannerisms. You seemed perfect for the title 'Princess of Destiny'. Destiny really needs to get over herself.

And you told me about your dream; about the dark clouds you said represented Ganondorf, and about the ray of light you thought represented me. And you demanded I go on a quest to find the three spiritual stones. Of course, I'm just a nobody in a foreign land and you are the Princess of the land and grew up there but hey, it's probably too unfitting for you to go on a silly quest.

What does it matter that I nearly got killed by a rolling maniac of a lizard that shoots fire out of its mouth and could squash me with its pinky toe? What does it matter that I was nearly zapped to death by a giant jellyfish after being sucked into the bowls of a giant whale? What does it matter that every person I met wanted me to do something? What does it matter that a chicken farmer who is allergic to chickens keeps demanding I find her chickens for her? What does it matter that a psychotic mask salesman demands I sell all his masks for him? What does it matter that I've had to deal with neurotic gravediggers, lazy ranch owners, snooty dog lovers, crazy turbo-strength Gorons, and lovestruck, touch-feely, fish-faced Zoras? What does it matter that they all wanted something from me and never once stopped to consider if I wanted to give anything?

After all, I was going to be 'Link Somebody', the guy who helped the Princess in her hour of need, the guy who stopped Ganondorf from stealing the Tri-force, the source of power left by the three Golden Goddesses. I was going to finally be accepted by the Kokiri.

So your dumb nursemaid told me where to start. By the way, you really need to tell her to lay off with the whole "I'm gonna kick your butt if you threaten the Princess" visage. She may be a Sheikah but she's gonna scare away any chance of you getting even fake friends with that attitude of hers. Anyway, she told me to start at Death Mountain, (appropriately named by the way), because it's where the Gorons live and they were supposed to have the Spiritual Stone of Fire.

So off I went on my quest. Up Death Mountain I climbed until I reached Goron City. I met the Big Brother of the clan, Darunia, and asked him for the Spiritual Stone of Fire. And what do I get? CONDITIONS! I can't have it until the Dodongo's Cavern is completely rid of Dodongo's. I'm telling you, King Dodongo was no piece of cake. I had bruises and third degree burns after that fight. But I was so glad when it was over, I didn't even care about all the sappy crap Darunia said to me- all that talk about being Sworn Brothers and all… I had the Spiritual Stone of Fire. I was two-thirds done with my quest. Oh if only the Kokiris could have seen me…

Next was the Spiritual Stone of Water. I was really confused then. I hadn't a clue as to where to go. I was starting to get homesick too. I really missed Saria, so I pulled out her ocarina and started to play. I played her song. Then the most amazing thing happened! I could hear her voice in my head!

She told me that her song had magical abilities and could link me to her in thought. All I had to do was play it and I could speak with her at any time.

I told her about all the stuff that had happened. I never would have found the third stone without her. She told me that sometimes the Great Deku Tree would talk to her about a place called Zora's Domain that was the water source for all rivers and lakes in Hyrule. She said it was where the Zoras lived and that would be the likely place to keep the Spiritual Stone of Water. Heh, go figure.

So I set off for Zora's Domain. Now those are some freaky fish. They all worship this giant whale that's so big and heavy he needs a platform in the water to keep him from sinking and drowning. Their Princess, Ruto, was given the prestigious job of feeding the great lump. They should've known it would eat her some day.

Anyhow, I asked King Zora for the Spiritual Stone and once again I got conditions. I had to save the Princess. Why do people always ask me to do these things?

So I jump down the whale's throat, (his name was Jabu-Jabu) and I take a look around. Man, I never thought the inside of a fish would be arranged so that there were actual rooms. I finally found Ruto. She was almost as bad as you. I say almost because she was at least honest enough not to try and hide that she's a snobby, spoiled rich witch. She demanded that I help her find her most precious possession inside the bowls of Lord Jabu-Jabu.

So after defeating the Barinade, which was causing Jabu-Jabu to change his eating habits, I happily found out that her 'most precious possession' was the Zora's Sapphire, or the Spiritual Stone of Water. I was not so happy to find out that it was also her 'engagement ring'. Apparently I wasn't as low life as she first thought. I'm not terribly fond of having giant eel-type creatures throw affections on me.

I had to accept our 'engagement' in order to get the stone but I just kinda figured that after a couple of years she'd grow to understand that couplings between different species are just unhealthy. Besides, it's not like I'd have to see her again. Maybe she'd just forget about me…

I was so happy once I had all three Spiritual Stones. I had accomplished my task. I was finally going to be 'Link Somebody'. I was finally going to be able to go back to the Forest and not even Mido would be able to put me down.

I didn't even stop to rest at night I was in such a hurry to get to the castle. But when I reached the castle gates there you were, on horseback with your nursemaid, galloping away. You threw something into the moat. I didn't know then it would be the very undoing of all I had worked for.

Ganondorf came out the gate, also on horseback. He demanded I tell him where you had gone. Heh. Funny. He's the only one I ever denied. And he beat me for it. I can't help but think now that this would have probably been what you would have gotten the guards to do to me if I had dared to deny you. What irony, to fight so hard against one tyrant only to let another keep her throne.

But once he rode away I eagerly dove into the moat to see what you had left me. I dove to find what shred of hope, what sign you had left me in the wake of this vicious and brutal man. It was an ocarina, and the prettiest one I had ever seen.

The moment I surfaced I felt the same sensation as when I heard Saria in my head. Only this time it was your voice that echoed in the halls of my mind. Once again you needed me to do something for you. I tried in vain to tell you I had already done the last thing you had told me to do only to find it wasn't really you talking. It was a memory, a one-sided message woven into the ocarina for me to hear. You didn't even need to be there to order me around anymore. I would do whatever you asked without question, and you knew that.

You told me that the ocarina I held was the Ocarina of Time. You said that it was one of the keys to unlocking the Door of Time and for passing through into the Sacred Realm where the Tri-force was kept. In your message you taught me to play the Song of Time which would trigger the Spiritual Stones, (the other keys), and open the Door of Time. You demanded that I retrieve the Tri-force before Ganondorf could.

And so I went to the Temple of Time and opened the Door of Time, just like you told me to. Inside I found the legendary Master Sword and, figuring it was another precautionanother key, I pulled it from its pedestal. I was going to retrieve the Tri-force. But that would never be.

Can you imagine what it must be like to at one moment hear Ganondorf's cackling and screams of triumph and the next wake up to an old geezer telling you that seven years have passed and your enemy has used those years to ravage the world? Can you imagine waking up to a full-grown body and a sense of feeling somehow not fit enough to use it? Can you imagine waking up to find all you had worked for is undone and worse! You've woken to a world that has fallen into chaos!

And amongst all these feelings there are, once more, demands.

Rauru, the old geezer, the Sage of Light, then tells me that although I had the soul of the one destined to pull the Master Sword from it's pedestal, I hadn't been old enough to be the Hero of Time. So destiny takes a hand and puts me to sleep for seven years. Good ol' Destiny. And now that I'm the Hero of Time, I must go awaken seven sages so that they can help me defeat Ganondorf.

But I was still stupid. My body might have grown but I was still a stupid kid. I decided to go on this quest. And the first stop was the Forest Temple.

Now I don't care that I had to solve crazy puzzles. I don't care that I had to fight a fair three-dozen monsters. I don't even care that when I re-entered the Kokiri Forest the Kokiri didn't recognize me. I don't even care that I had to fight Phantom Ganondorf. But when I went back to the Sacred realm where I had met Rauru, when I'd cleansed the Forest Temple, when I was going to meet the Sage of Forest, my heart broke to see her standing there.

Destiny had brought us together and now destiny was pulling us apart. It was Saria, my best friend. I would never get to see her again. She had to live in the Sacred Realm with the other sages. She was destined to stay there while I was destined to be in Hyrule acting the tool in fighting Ganondorf. And then when I told her my concerns, she demanded that I stop being so selfish and start acting like the Hero of Time.

Well, that doesn't matter now. The point is that I'm through. I'm not going to be the Hero of Time anymore. I'm not going to be everyone's lackey. I'm not going to follow the demands of everyone else. I'm going to follow the demands of myself. I'm going to start doing what I want to do. I don't care about being 'Link Somebody' anymore. I quit.

Sincerely, Just Link

Zelda rubbed her eyes as she carefully set down the letter.

"Well 'Just Link', I'm afraid that just won't do."