A/N: Okay, so this takes after season three. I kind of just made up what happens in the finale and go from there. I also add tidbits of information found only in the books, but it's nothing major to the plot. Hope you guys enjoy.
I was so done with vampires.
Okay, so I realize that I've made that promise to myself several times before. But this time I really meant it. There is a very big line between dating a vampire and having to do the dirty work for his boss (well, technically sheriff but in swearing off vampires I have also applied it to their lingo), and being kidnapped by some three thousand year old psychopath who had an undead (har har) dream of walking in the sunlight. Furthermore, when it was a joint effort of the said boyfriend and his boss to help this psychotic bloodsucker, it just didn't bode well with me. One minute, both Russell and Eric were sucking me dry while I looked into the eyes of the man I had once thought was the love of my life, waiting for him to save me. Of course, he never did. The one thing I have come to learn about vampires is that they do not idolize Superman – or even Batman. Being heroes wasn't exactly in their nature. Bill sure did like to pretend he was though.
I can't say what really happened after I passed out because, well, I was unconscious. When I woke up again, I thought I was dead for a minute. That led me to wonder if I even made it to heaven. Maybe God really did hate vampires, and since I was so heavily involved with them, he withdrew any love he had for me. If he had had any to begin with. Telepaths could always be in that same unlovable category as vampires. Hell, might as well throw in the Shifters and Weres too. I had to think about adding faeries to the list of the damned for a good long minute, because they had just always seemed so angelic to me. After a while I decided they didn't count – they didn't even live in the same world as us, after all. Maybe a different God watched over them.
While I was pondering whether or not Jesus still loved me, it never really occurred to me to actually see where I was. To my mild surprise, I in fact had not died. I was in my room again, and the first one I see is none other than Bill Compton. He had been so happy to see that I was awake – apparently he had been worrying about whether or not Jesus loved me enough to let me into heaven also. Before I could even get a word in, he started explaining everything that happened. He told me that he hadn't really betrayed me; that giving me to Russell was a plan Eric had devised to actually save me. Maybe I'm just shallow, but I wasn't very thankful. I wasn't thankful to Bill. I wasn't thankful to Eric. I wasn't thankful to Eric's daughter Pam. I sure as hell wasn't thankful to Russell. After I informed him of my complete lack of appreciativeness, Bill went on to tell the rest of the story. Eric had handcuffed Russell to him when they had gone out in the sunlight, planning on dying just so he could kill Russell. Unfortunately for Eric, that hadn't exactly gone like he wanted. Witnessing it from the security cameras inside Fangtasia, Russell had apparently just flown off, dragging Eric with him. Quite rudely, I giggled when I heard that part. Eric, as much as I hated him, was an excellent strategist. It would just seem like to me Mr. High and Mighty would have thought of something as simple as that. Then again, I suppose I didn't know Eric as well as I thought I did. I didn't know Bill as well as I thought I did.
So now Eric was missing with Russell, and Pam was going absolutely insane. She loved Eric very much, and I knew that the feeling was mutual. Vampires weren't the most expressive (a rock showed more emotion), but I had caught glimpses of true feelings from them every now and again. Eric had been torn apart when Godric died. He seemed to have some conflicting feelings towards me as well – like, whether I would be better off as a snack or one step below his slave. If anything, the most emotion I've ever seen from a vampire was Bill. He had been so damn persuasive in making me feel like he cared for me, like he really loved me. I guess my inexperience with men showed in that area – I was far too trusting. I had overlooked his faults time and time again, all because I loved him, and I thought he loved me. This wasn't the first time I came close to dying since I've been with Bill; the number has increased greatly since I started dating him. But this was the last time that I was going to go through this. I swore off vampires then and there while sitting in my bed, and I told Bill that without one ounce of sympathy. I rescinded his invitation. It was always kind of fun, to watch them walk backwards like that. When that was finished, I had made myself smile at finally letting things get back to normal.
Granted, I had tears streaming down my face, but that wasn't the point.
It's been almost a week since then. I went back to work at Merlotte's, and Sam of course wanted to know where I had been. I didn't tell him, I just promised him that I wouldn't be missing work again for a long while. He kind of looked at me funny when I said that, like he didn't really believe it. That had just given me motivation to prove myself right. I had a great boss, God bless him, and he's been very lenient as far as me missing work goes. It tended to happen quite often after, you guessed it, I started dating a vampire. Looking at myself in the mirror, my hair pulled back into a ponytail and work uniform on, I smiled at my reflection. I was going to be go to work, and be there for my whole shift. Actually, I was probably going to arrive a bit early if traffic was light – which in a place like Bon Temps, it always was.
Giving myself a mental pat on the back, I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I was grabbing the keys to my car when someone knocked on my door. I stopped midstride, turning to look towards the source of the noise like they might barge in at any minute. I knew it wasn't Jason. I usually was able to hear his truck tearing up my driveway. Plus, he usually just walked in anyway. In fact, I hadn't heard any cars coming up my driveway. I hadn't necessarily been paying attention, but I was instantly suspicious. It had just gotten dark out, which meant that my visitor could very well be part of the fanged variety. I reached out with my mind, and sure enough all I found was a negative space. A void. A clear sign that a walking dead person was outside my front door.
In a panic, I quickly ran through a list of vampires that I may have forgotten to rescind their invitations. My first thought was that it was Bill, maybe coming to try and reconcile or at least talk to me. I wouldn't think that he would come this soon though; I had been pretty firm when I told him we were through. Next, my mind went to Eric. He could have somehow escaped Russell and was now coming to see me for some unforeseeable reason. Maybe he wanted me to do another job for him. Oh, that would be rich. Next on my list of potential undead visitors was Russell himself, and for a second I was genuinely terrified. Then I reminded myself that I had never invited him into my home in the first place, so he wouldn't be able to get me. Still, that wasn't all that comforting. By the time I actually started to creep toward my door I was so jumpy that my visitor probably thought I was tap dancing my way to do the door. Turning the knob, I opened the door a crack, making sure I was still out of grabbing distance. Seeing who it was, I sighed and opened it fully. "Jessica."
The redhead smiled at me, her teeth stunningly white. "Hello Sookie," she said, friendly as could be. I was slightly mad at myself for already breaking my vow to never associate with vampires again, but I felt bad for Jessica. She had been turned against her will. Bill was forced to turn her as a punishment for staking another vampire who was trying to kill me. So Jessica being turned was indirectly my fault. She didn't see it that way, which was good, but that didn't mean I still didn't have the thoughts myself.
I gave a quick, half hearted smile in return. "Bill ain't here," I told her, assuming and hoping that's why she was on my step. "I haven't seen him for nearly a week." I noticed that Jessica was dressed the exact same way I was. She had gotten a job at Merlotte's as well, and considering she was a vampire, she had to work the night shift. My shift. This was going to be the first time we were going to work together.
"Oh I know," she assured me. "I'm kind of here because of Bill." She paused for a moment. "He ain't right without you, Sookie. He's miserable. Just mopes around and talks to himself. He's horrible company." I don't think she had come here to complain to me, but that's what she ended up doing. "He looks real bad, too. He ain't drinking as much as he should be," she added. I had a funny feeling she was discreetly trying to say that Bill's miserable condition was my fault. She'd be right, but he forced my hand.
"I don't know if he's told you or not, Jess, but he kind of just handed me over to Russell. I was treated like I was some sort of buffet!" This was the first time I've ever even mentioned the incident to anyone, so it came out a lot more heated than I wanted it too. "Plus, I almost died for about the hundredth time since I've been with Bill." I was exaggerating big time, but I wanted to get my point across. I lowered my voice a bit. "I'm sick of almost dying just because I'm dating a vampire. I'm sick of being lied too and betrayed. I can't do this." Somehow I had gone from sounding strong and convincing to gentle and almost begging. It was like everyone thought I was dumb for wanting to live. I guess that's what happens when you talk about life to a bunch of dead people.
As I expected, Jessica did look at me like I was a bit slow. I felt a bitter taste rise in my throat. She had been human not all that long ago. Surely she hadn't lost her humanity already; she had to remember what it was like to breathe and walk in the sunlight. Of course, I wasn't an expert on the vampire psyche. Maybe she just didn't care anymore. "Everything Bill has done for you is to protect you," she pointed out matter-of-factly. Her lips compressed into a thin line, and she looked like she was thinking about something. When she spoke again, her voice was very soft. "You can't understand how hard it is, for a vampire to love a human. We want to protect you with every inch of our being, keep you to ourselves, save you from every scrape and cut. We do not always do it in the way that you would, but we do it the best way we know how."
I had a feeling she wasn't talking to me anymore, at least not for my benefit. She was noticeably withdrawn, and her eyes were cast on the ground. I thought I could see the bloody tears start to rim her eyes. I knew that she had a thing going with Hoyt, but I wasn't aware of how serious they were. Evidently, it appeared that they were very serious. And she had doubts about it; a lot of them. She was worried about something other than just his welfare. I was so stunned by all of this information I was getting from her that I thought I was inside her head. After a moment, I knew for sure that I wasn't. Her face was just extremely expressive – a completely clear window to her heart. Despite myself, I felt a pang of sympathy for her. Life had not been fair to Jessica.
"I understand that," I said slowly, trying to pick my words carefully. "But I want to be human. I want to date human men and not worry about having my throat torn out any given day by a vampire." I looked at my watch and frowned. "Jessica, I really have to go to work. I'm going to be late."
"You can't date human men," she said flatly, shooting a painful arrow right into me. She glanced around. "I was going to suggest we ride together to work, but I'm sure you won't want to now. I'll see you there." She turned to leave.
"Please, don't come back," I said suddenly, my voice stronger. I had to start my ban-on-vampires vow all over again, and I wanted to get it off to a good start. But I found that I felt a little bit of regret, saying it to Jessica. She had been my friend.
The girl hadn't hesitated in her stride away from me, and within a second she was gone. If I were to ever wish to be anything like a vampire, it would be to be able to have a just as memorable exit as they did. They were the masters of great exits. My highly inferior departure consisted of getting into my car and simply driving away. I was actually rather glum about the whole thing until I arrived at work, at which point I told myself I was being ridiculous. Getting out of my car, I planted a smile on my face as I walked into Merlotte's to start my shift. I greeted Sam and Arlene, a good friend of mine whom I had recently been getting distant with. She wasn't exactly a vampire sympathizer these days. I'm not either, anymore, I argued with myself, and then I felt ashamed. I didn't want the vampires to burn and die; I just wanted them to leave me alone. There was a big difference.
I spent half my night in mental turmoil over my feelings on vampires. I think that's why I didn't notice that there was one sitting in the bar. She wasn't in my area, but I should have noticed the empty space – the void. Not being able to help myself, I took a moment to look her over. I had thought that it might be Pam, coming to either talk to me about saving Eric or to blame me for his predicament. I wasn't sure what I would do in that situation. Luckily, I didn't have to find out, because the woman sitting in the booth definitely wasn't Pam. It was a vampire I had never seen before. She was middle aged, but very youthful looking. She had straight, long brown hair that went to her waist. Her face was round, and she had plump lips and a small nose. Her eyes were a bright blue, almost frighteningly so. She was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt – a vampire who either had no fashion sense or was too lazy to keep up with it.
She hadn't so much as glanced at me, which was good because I was basically staring at her. I had never seen someone who looked so serene in my life. That wasn't exactly the right word to describe how she looked, but it was the word on my word-of-the-day calendar and it got my point across. Her face was smooth, untroubled. If anyone had been around a vampire for more than five minutes, they knew that "peaceful" was not a word used to describe them. But that was what she was; that was how she made me feel just by looking at her. It was like she was almost human, and I was very interested in knowing who she was. Then my brain gave me a slap upside the head, reminding me very sternly that I was done with vampires. Even ones who could quite possibly be Mother Teresa as far as looks and general atmosphere were concerned.
After I went back to my job and blocked the strange vampire out of my mind, I picked up another abnormal vibe. It wasn't vampire, but it wasn't Shifter or Were either. I had never picked up a brain "signal" like it. And unlike the vampire who I had named in my mind as Teresa, this abnormal signal was a man who was staring at me. He was looking at me quite intently as well. It made me uncomfortable. He wasn't in my section either, so I couldn't serve him and try to get a glimpse into his mind. His mind wasn't like the jumbled mess of emotions I usually picked up from the furry ones; it was more like I could pick up strong intentions. Goals, maybe. It was odd, and I couldn't be sure because this was the first time I've ever experienced such a problem. In fact, the problem was multiplied by several levels because whatever I was picking up from this man's brain, it was centered on me.
Today might have been a bad day to swear off vampires.