Sorry, I am not updating Magenta and Me this week. I had already finished writing that story, but I think the story ended pretty badly and I am sort of giving up on it. I am planning to make some changes in that story, so I need another week. Therefore, I will fulfil you with this one-shot story instead. This one is about Columbia and De Lordy.
Okay, I know De Lordy is supposed to be the bad guy who was "overfed, overweight, overdressed and oversexed" and had "the pencil moustache plus thighboots over his fishnets". However, I want someone powerful and handsome, someone whom Columbia will fall in love with, some nice guy who will help Riff Raff and Magenta. So, I changed his character quite a bit. I hope no ROTOQ fan will mind.
Declaimer: Richard O'Brien the genius owns everything.
Janet, Brad and Dr. Scott just left the castle. Frankie and Rocky were floating in the pool as Magenta and Riff Raff laughed quietly.
"Our noble mission is completed, my most beautiful sister, and soon we shall return to the Moon-Drenched Shores of our beloved planet," Riff Raff said to Magenta when touching her face with the back of his hand. She replied, "Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night. To sing and dance once more to your dark refrain. To take that step, to the right…" "HAH!" they both laughed and shouted. Riff Raff continued, "But it's the pelvic thrust…" Magenta said, "And our world will do the Time Warp again!"
Magenta stopped laughing and said, "I wonder if I remembered to lock up the dogs." They laughed louder. Riff Raff replied, "No matter, my dear sister. Activate the transit crystal." Magenta went to the control room. The ground was shaking as the castle launched. Riff Raff fished Frankie and Rocky from the pool. He dripped a few drops of chemical onto their bodies, and then the bodies dissolved and disappeared. Magenta returned to the showroom and stood next to the pool. Magenta grabbed Riff Raff's arm and asked, "Why did you kill Columbia? You promised me not to hurt her. You knew I really liked her. She was like a sister to me." "I didn't kill Columbia. Columbia, you can stop playing dead now." They started staring at me.
I sat up and started stretching my body. Magenta ran and started hugging me. Her hug was so warm, and she smelled like soap, just like my mother. "You didn't die! What happened? Did you and my beloved brother make a pact or something?" "I told Columbia to play dead before I shot her. Anti-matter gun can't hurt any Earthlings. It can only kill Transylvanians. That's why I couldn't hurt Rocky when I shot him. His body was from a dead Earthling and his brain was from Eddie." Riff Raff walked toward us and explained, "I didn't kill Rocky. He drowned himself." As she helped me stand up, Magenta asked me, "Why didn't you tell me?" I answered, "We wanted to give you a surprise!" Magenta released me from her tight hug and I felt really cold. My body was shaking and I sneezed. "Come, let's go back to our room and get you out of these wet clothes." Magenta held my hand tightly and dragged me out of the showroom.
We were walking in the hallway. Magenta asked me, "Are you mad that we killed Frank N Furter?" "No, I am fine," I shook my head. I knew I was lying to myself. Sure, I was unhappy that Frankie was killed, but Frankie killed Eddie, my other love. No, maybe Frank really did deserve to die. I loved Frankie, but he never loved me back. I loved Eddie and he loved me back. Who did I love more? I didn't know. I was just so confused. I lost both of my lovers on the same night, and I didn't even know who was right and who was wrong. If there was a man with Frank's charm and Eddie's sense of humours, that would be perfect. Maybe, I didn't deserve to love someone and to be loved.
I spent the next three days in my bed. I was sick and having a fever thanks to Frankie's cold water pool show. Although Magenta and Riff Raff could now use Frankie's room, Magenta still decided to stay in our room to take care of me. On the fourth day, I was feeling better, so I walked into the control room. I truly wished I didn't go in. Riff Raff and Magenta were making out on the table. Magenta still had her clothes on, but Riff Raff was topless. I asked, "I guess this is not a good time, right?" Magenta got down the table trying to tidy up her dress and answered, "It is fine. Do you need anything, Columbia?" Trying not to stare at them, I replied, "No, I don't really need anything. I am just curious. How are you going to explain to the Queen and the people in Transsexual that their Prince Frank is dead?"
"What?" Riff Raff and Magenta looked very surprised. I asked the question again, "How are you going to explain…" "Umm, we didn't really plan anything." Magenta said in a low voice. Riff Raff continued, "Well, we did plan to kill the Prince." "Actually, it's more of an angry killing." "And you just reminded us… we forgot to plan what to tell the Queen." "We didn't exactly think it through before we did it." "Well, we could lie." "Wait, no! I remembered that the Queen has some kind of telepathic connection with her son. I think the Queen could sense Frank N Furter's death at the very moment you shot him." "We are screwed…" They stopped talking and started staring at each other.
This was not good – Riff Raff and Magenta continuing each other's sentence. They only talked in duets when they were scared or didn't know what to do. They did it once on the first day I came into the castle when I found the two siblings sleeping together. They did it again the other day when they were in the supermarket, trying to "socialize" with the cashier lady but accidentally telling her too much details of where they came from.
We spent the rest of the day quietly thinking what to lie about. At last, Riff Raff broke the ice. "If they forgive us, then we will live our lives happily ever after. If they want to kill us, then we will return to Earth, get a new identity and find a new place to hide." "Sounds like a plan," I said, "Why don't we just return to Earth now?" Magenta added, "We had left our home for ten years. Even though my brother and I are orphans, I really do miss the place we grew up in. If we are to start running for our lives, I would still want to have the last look of our beloved planet." "Okay," I wrapped my arm around Magenta's shoulder, trying to comfort her.
Even though Transylvanian technologies were more advanced than Earth technologies, it still took us one full week to travel from Earth to Transsexual. It was a beautiful planet. I felt in love with the planet the moment I saw it. I would not mind staying here for the rest of my life. I was very excited until…
The moment the castle landed right next to the palace, it was surrounded by guards and soldiers. Magenta was right. The Queen really knew that Frankie was killed by the siblings. Magenta and Riff Raff were dragged out of the castle by force. The guards thought that only two siblings were on board. I was hiding in my room. They didn't find me. I knew it was my responsibility to save my best friends.
When there were fewer guards patrolling, I sneaked out of Frankie's castle. I was a fast runner and a master of sneaking out. Eddie and I used to do it all the time when we ate in a fancy restaurant and left without paying. Walking in the palace, I saw a black curly-haired man who dressed differently than the guards. He certainly had Frankie's charm and Eddie's rock and roll clothing style. He noticed me as well and greeted me, "Hello, lovely lady. I am Lord De Lordy. Are you lost? May I offer you any help?" I was amused. He sounded exactly like Eddie. I looked into his eyes and I thought to myself – I was falling in love again. This must be love at first sight. I had the same feeling when Eddie kissed me. "Oh, lordy lordy, I am just a new maid working in the palace." I lied and didn't know what to say.
Hours later, I found myself lying on De Lordy's bed. I lay my head on De Lordy's naked chest and stroked his chest hair with my left index finger. He asked, "What is your name?" "It's a secret. We just met a few hours ago. I need to know you better before I can tell you my name," I giggled and asked, "Are you really a Lord?" "Indeed, I am. I am the first cousin to the Old Queen. Now that Prince Frank is dead, I am the only heir. You could be Queen of Transsexual in the Galaxy of Transylvania," he whispered to my ear. His voice was so sweet, like honey. Wait a minute…
Prince Frank? PRINCE FRANK? FRANKIE! That reminded me. I had to save Riff Raff and Magenta! That was the only reason I came into the castle. Stupid me, why did I sleep with this man? Maybe, just maybe, he could help me located them.
I asked, "How are they treating the siblings who killed Prince Frank?" I hoped I didn't arise any suspicion. De Lordy replied, "Oh, you want to know about the Cosmo and Nation O'Brien's case?" I asked confusingly, "Cosmo and Nation? You meant Riff Raff and Magenta, the servants of the late prince?" De Lordy responded casually, "Oh, yes. My annoying nephew forced his two servants to change their names before they went to Earth. He thought Riff Raff and Magenta were better names, but I know his two servants hate the names very much." I thought to myself, "So, Frankie made them change their name too?" I used to be angry that Frankie made me change my name to Columbia. I thought that was unfair. I loved my original name. It's a gift from my parents.
De Lordy continued his speech, "They are to be executed tomorrow, when the moon sets to the point where the moon and its reflection in water of the Moon-Drenched Shores form a full circle. Their heads will be separated from their bodies in exactly seven hours." EXCUTED? They will be killed? "Where are they locked up in?" I asked. "The prison located in the basement. Why are you asking about this? Wait… How did you know Cosmo and Nation's play name? Nobody knows except the Queen and me. Are you…"
I knocked him out with a table lamp and got out of bed. I put on my clothes quickly and ran out of the room.
Initially, I had no idea where the basement was. Luckily, I was surprised that there were signs and maps on the wall: [Left upwards arrow] – The Queen's Room; [Left downwards arrow] – The Ballroom; [Right downwards arrow] – Basement. I believed they did that because the castle was too big and servants and assassins got lost too often.
I followed the directions and went into the basement. I found Riff Raff and Magenta locked up in a giant cell. I saw them making good USE of their limited time. There were guards, but they were all drunk and sleeping. I stole the key and quickly unlock the gates while Magenta and Riff Raff put on their clothes in a hurry. Lucky for us, Riff Raff stole an anti-matter lazar gun from one of the drunken guards. Magenta and I wanted to get one too, but Riff Raff said, "You two didn't have proper training. You may hurt yourselves using the gun, so it will be the best if I am the only one firing at targets."
We started running, although I have no idea where we were heading. Magenta and Riff Raff were very careful. They walked slowly and pretended nothing happened when they saw some guards. However, being as a clumsy person like me, it was hard to not break anything when you were on a run. I broke a vase that looked expensive, and the nearby guard saw us. He realized that Magenta and Riff Raff were on death row and started chasing after us. We ran faster and faster, but there were more and more guards chasing.
"Thank you for saving us!"Magenta said. "Where are we heading?" I asked as we were running up the stairs. "We are going to the space shuttle room. We are going back to Earth! When we were locked up, we were thinking of ways to escape. My lovely sister and I had it all plan out this time!" Riff Raff turned around and shot one of the guards.
I had so many questions in my mind. As we were running for our lives, I asked, "How come you guys never told me your real names are Cosmo and Nation? Are we not friends?" I was kind of pissed that they never told me their real name. They knew everything about me, but I knew almost nothing about them. Riff Raff answered, "You should have known this when Frank N Furter forced you to change your name from Julie to Columbia." I disrupted Riff Raff, "It's Judy, not Julie." Magenta continued Riff Raff's speech, "And didn't you notice that my brother and I never call each other by name? I always called him my most handsome brother and he only called me his most beautiful sister. We detest the name Frank N Furter gave us." Riff Raff nodded.
After fifteen minutes of "fun" jogging, we ran into the space shuttles room located on the highest floor of the palace and locked the door. We were shocked to see De Lordy standing inside, waiting for the siblings. He was surprised to see me, "You? Why are you saving them? Don't you know they are supposed to be executed?" I replied, "I am sorry, my dear love. They are my best friends. I would never have met you if they didn't bring me to Transsexual. I love you very much, but they saved me from Frankie's abusive love and now I must save them."
While De Lordy and I were talking, Riff Raff and Magenta had gone to the main control panel and started entering data. I heard Riff Raff saying, "I hacked into their system. They won't be able to find us and track us anymore. We shall begin our new life on Earth." I ignored De Lordy, walked toward Magenta and whispered to her ear, "Are you going to use your old name or real name when we returned to Earth?" Magenta answered, "Of course, our real name, but we may change our last name to avoid tracking." "It's going to be a fresh start for all of us," Riff Raff added.
We heard some banging on the other side of the control room door. De Lordy placed his hands on my shoulders. I faced De Lordy and he said, "Go. Leave this planet. I will stay here. I can stop them from finding you guys. They won't hurt me. I am the only heir of Transsexual now!" He took two rings from his chest pocket and said, "Keep this ring. These two rings can detect each other over long distance. After the queen is dead and I become the new king, I will use it to find you." De Lordy put a ring on my ring finger and gave me a passionate kiss. "I love you and I will wait for you," he said.
The door of the shuttle opened and Riff Raff and Magenta quickly ran into the space shuttle. They said to me, "Get in now!" I got into the shuttle and waved De Lordy good bye when Riff Raff and Magenta were clicking buttons on the space shuttle control panel. "Destination set – England, Earth. Launching in 30 seconds, 29, 28…" A machine voice started the countdown.
"… 18, 17…" De Lordy suddenly realize one thing, and yelled, "You still haven't told me your name." "Judy. My name is Judith Ansalong", I shouted. The shuttle door finally closed. "… 3, 2, 1… Shuttle launching process has begun." The door was crushed down by the guards and they were running into the room as our shuttle launched. They grabbed De Lordy's arms. I saw De Lordy swore to himself, "Judith Ansalong, one day I will make you my queen."
- The End -
Ok, I know this is a one-shot story, but if I have a lot of reviews, then I may continue writing.
Also, I don't really know why. I keep thinking that if they remake RHPS and do a first-make of ROTOQ, Judy will be played by the actress who played Columbia, Mary Lou will be played by the actress who played Magenta and De Lordy will be played by the actor who played Eddie. I know you will disagree, but I just want to tell my thought.
They are showing Rocky Horror at RIO Theatre on Jan 28 (11:55pm). If you are living in Vancouver and want to go, just PM me! We can go together! I want to go so badly, but none of my friends are interested.