Greetings fellow compatriots, this is my first story, and I would love some feedback. Please review, and if you want more I'll update. I'll try and update weekly if y'all want me to continue the story. Please review, flames are welcomed. I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm trying to give you guys something that you can enjoy. Also, some of these experiences come from my own life, so please don't rag on certain less happy points in the story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, only my self insert.
Okay, here it goes.
Prelude
How does one know that they are dead? Oh, well, simply by the obnoxious, flashing sign of "You Have Died." Now, I know that you are thinking this is impossible, seriously, life is not a game. However, I would like to ask you this one question, do you really know that? Have you died? Unless you are a ghost or something, then don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question.
Let's get back to the subject, so, I died. Yup, it wasn't pleasant, let me tell you that. Honestly, it sucked hardcore. Now, you might be thinking, "oh no! Nathanael, how did you die? It must have been horrible!" and, truthfully, you're right. It was terrible. Not the death part, the actual process of it. See, I have had struggles with depression since I was around the ripe old age of twelve, and now that I was a Junior in Highschool, dealing with a bunch of hormones, girls, challenging classes, and whatnot, it really took its toll. I tried, I really did. I told myself to get over it, and for a while it worked. I know, it seems like I'm a panzy for letting myself fall privy to these things. But, for some time I was managing.
Then came Spring. I thought it was going to be a fun time, now, I didn't have a girlfriend, I honestly never have had a girlfriend. There was someone that I liked when I was younger, and we talked for about two years. I found out that she had been going after other guys, and, feeling hurt, I ended it. I don't really count that as a relationship, and ever since, I have felt a little inadequate, that's probably one of the factors that led to my inevitable departure from the living. Sorry, I got sidetracked. It's hard to not let myself get caught up in the woes of my failures. Anyhow, it was Spring Break. I was left at home, by myself. Hindsight would tell me that I should have went with my parents to their Republican Conference, but I decided against it. It was a blunder that cost me everything. Being alone is a dangerous thing for a depressed person. If you have depression, then I suggest that you don't isolate yourself. As a kid, I did that, and it cost me my childhood. Now, it cost me my life. Sitting in a house with no one but myself inevitably led me to ponder my future, from there I thought about my failures, I thought about that one girl, my inadequacy, and all of the self-hate rose up in me again. I knew where we kept the weapons, they thought I was trustworthy enough to not hurt myself. They were wrong.
So, here I am, not released from my pain. Wasn't the point of suicide to find some sort of peace? I thought that it was supposed to grant you the freedom and liberty from your pain. However, it didn't. So, I guess it wouldn't do you any good to try it either. It's a lie, take it from someone who tried it. Now, what do I do about this flashing sign? Looking up, I can tell that life is about to get interesting, or annoying. It will probably get annoying. What a drag.