Perry yawned, trying to keep his eyes open. The papers scattered across his desk seemed to swim before him.
He blinked. O.W.C.A. paperwork. The most hated part of the job. Ask any agent and they would say the same thing.
Records of Inators destroyed. How close he came to blowing his cover, otherwise known as cover infractions. Records, scans and schematics of not only the boys Big Ideas, but of Doofenshmirtz's evil schemes. Transcripts and tape recordings of tragic backstories. And of course, the usual office paperwork: Memos. E-mails. The mandatory training videos that were expected to be completed by all agents one month before the official due date.
Perry never understood this; if O.W.C.A Management wanted the training videos completed a month before they were due, why not just put that date as the official due date?
But he digressed. His eyes swept across to the computer. At the moment, he was busy charting how many evil schemes he had thwarted this year, how many evil schemes he hadn't thwarted (thankfully a low number) and whether or not he would be able to hit his thwarted schemes quota for the month.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, then started rubbing his temples. He was starting to get a headache. It was to much to think about. He was already behind on his required training videos.
What he needed was coffee.
He stood up and stretched, flexing his fingers before grabbing the coffee mug on his desk. He glanced at the clock on the wall:
7:58
It was going to be a long night. If he hurried, he could make it down to the break room and back before the automatic lights shut off. He stepped out of his cubicle and started down the hall, trained eyes glancing into each cubicle he passed: Agent Terry the Turtle's cubicle, a virtual oasis of tropical plants and sand; Agent C's cubicle, complete with a scratching post and...the platypus wriggled his nose at a rank smell emanating from a tin on top of the file cabinet. Was that...?
Yes. Leftover tuna from Agent C's lunch.
Perry grimaced, stepping into the cubicle and plugging his nose, grabbing the opened tin before tossing it in the trashcan.
Honestly; some Agents needed to learn how to pick up after themselves.
He continued down the hall. Agent W's cubicle; Sergei the Snail's cubicle; Newton the Gnu...
The overhead lights clicked off and he groaned. So much for making it back in time. He reached the break room, poured himself a cold cup of coffee and headed back, flipping the override switch on the automatic lights with his tail on the way past.
Immediately, O.W.C.A Headquarters was bathed in light and the platypus smiled. At least the lights would stay on for another hour before he had to manually override them again.
Maybe he'd be gone by then. Hopefully.
Perry rounded the corner, deciding to do a loop through the other side of the office before heading back to his own cubicle.
Nothing out of the ordinary. Just the usual; vacated cubicles, in progress paperwork stacked high on desks, computers running their nightly system checks and virus scans. All was quiet. Except for...he stopped walking, ears picking up the sound of snoring coming from a cubicle about three rows down.
He tiptoed over, noting the name on the cubicle: D-O-G
The new recruit. Agent D-O-G had recently joined the agency as a special ops field agent. Highly trained with a high level clearance, this agent was a special case. It was rumored that his specialities were reconnasiance and undercover work, with a knack for being in the right place at the right time. Word from Major Monogram was that Agent D-O-G didn't have a nemesis.
Then why was he here? Perry wondered. He cautiously took a step inside the cubicle, deciding to have a quick look around.
The dog's computer was open to a case file.
Murphy, Milo
Perry leaned over, reading:
Threat level: Varies
Suffers from hereditary Murphy's Law Syndrome
Extremely dangerous to civilians depending on the day, but upbeat, happy go lucky and optimistic
Mom: Brigette Murphy
Dad: Martin Murphy
Sister: Sara Murphy
Student at Jefferson County Middle School
Jefferson County Middle? Wasn't that outside this jurisdiction?
He glanced around the cubicle: over in a corner was a green pennant with the word Geckos written on it in white lettering; directly beneath, situated in a corner next to the file cabinet was a bright orange foam finger with the word Tigers across the bottom. On top of the file cabinet was a viking helmet complete with braids with a CD next to it. Perry picked up the CD.
The Mezzo Sopranos: A Musical
Interesting. His gaze continued around the perimeter of the cubicle: a hard hat, an anchor, body armor...
What did this agent do?
His eyes landed on the red fedora sitting on a nearby chair. A black band encircled the brim. Definitely special ops. Paperwork lay scattered on top of the desk:
TO DO:
Plan for birthday party
-Health insurance
-Accident insurance
Dismemberment insurance?
He continued reading. Hard hats. Birthday cake. Clean up and inspect Play Park Go-Kart Fun Track for any remaining issues. Clear out the ducks. Reimburse delivery company for shipment of broken eggs.
SCHEDULE:
Dr. Zone Movie Premier
-Survelliance
-Pistachio men
-Who are they?
REPORT:
First day of school for new kid Zack. Met Milo. Experienced syndrome first hand. Wolves.
REPORT: CAREER DAY
TO DO:
-Buy new MRI Machine
Several more reports were scattered across the desk, all unfinished.
Perry took off his fedora, scratching his head. None of this made any sense. If Agent D-O-G didn't have a nemesis, then what was with all the paperwork? His gaze landed on a few photo frames on the dog's desk. A photo of Agent D-O-G with an older woman and a man; a photo of Agent D-O-G with a a very pretty middle schooler with red hair wearing a black t-shirt with a short white jacket over it; and a picture of...he reached out, picking up a frame for closer inspection. Inside the frame was a photo of Agent D-O-G licking the face of the same boy whose picture was in the open computer file. So that means...
His train of thought derailed as the dog stirred. An eye slowly opened, locking on him. The dog whimpered and Perry could tell by the tone and body language that it had been a hard day for him too.
The dog's gaze trailed down to the photo in his hand and he emitted a low growl. The platypus winced, gently setting the photo back on the desk and taking a step back. Agent D-O-G continued to eye him, giving him a cold stare as he slowly sat up and stretched, closing the open case file on the computer.
Perry sheepishly tipped his hat to the dog, politely excusing himself. There was more than one way to obtain information.
The O.W.C.A Personnel Office. The place where Carl kept all the O.W.C.A Agents applications, resumes and reports on file. He knew it was a breach in protocol to go digging through the other agents information, but for once in his life-okay, maybe twice-Perry decided to go against protocol. He had to find out about Agent D-O-G. There was no way a dog with no nemesis could be accepted into the O.W.C.A
He was supposed to be working. Why was he doing this?
To find information. It's what he was trained to do. The platypus tried the door knob. It opened. He rolled his eyes; classified protected information his platypus butt. Leave it to Carl to forget to lock the door. He steped inside, quickly crossing over to the file cabinet and climbing all the way up. He turned around, opening the top drawer, rifling through the files. After a few minutes, he found what he was looking for.
He hopped down from the cabinet, sitting at the intern's desk. He opened the file folder, turning over several reports. There was only one thing he needed to find...there. He pulled a manila envelope from the folder and opened it, sliding the contents onto the desk.
The O.W.C.A. Welcome packet.
Perry went through the papers in the envelope one by one:
O.W.C.A Liability Waiver
Hold Harmless Agreement
So You've Discovered Your Pet is a Secret Agent pamphlet
What to Do When Your Identity Has Been Discovered pamphlet
Agent Profile
The platypus picked up the profile, reading:
Name: Agent D-O-G
Goes by: Diogee
Host Family: Murphys
Agent Owner: Milo Murphy
Agent Nemesis: Milo Murphy
He raised a brow.
Notes: Agent D-O-G has come to us as a Special Ops Agent. He is well trained in survelliance and reconnaisance, and well aquainted with Murphy's Law. He has lived with the Murphy family for thirteen years and is the beloved pet and protector of their son, Milo. Milo suffers from a heriditary disease called Murphy's Law. This disease makes him a danger to society, as his jinx can affect anyone at any time. He is not a threat due to being evil, but a threat by cirumstances out of his control. He makes the best of every situation, but is still in harm's way everyday. Because of this, Agent D-O-G has special clearance and is allowed to leave at anytime as circumstances allow. He is required by O.W.C.A Company policy to do his job to the best of his ability, but his hours are flexible.
He quit reading. He knew what he needed to do.
But first, he was going to need coffee. Preferably, hot coffee.
Perry made his way back to the break room, brewing a fresh pot of coffee. As it brewed, he rummaged in the cupboards above the sink until he found the spare mugs, food bowls and water bowls Carl kept stocked there. He filled a water bowl to the brim with steaming hot coffee and headed out.
Let's hope this worked.
He stopped outside the dog's cubicle and knocked.
The dog looked up from his computer, eyes narrowing at the sight of the platypus. He gave a warning growl and Perry lifted both hands in a gesture of peace and surrender, carefully walking into the cubicle, setting the water bowl on the desk.
Agent D-O-G dropped the stern gaze, nose sniffing the air. He cocked his head and Perry nodded, indicating the steaming bowl.
The dog immediately lapped up the liquid, giving him a grateful smile.
Their eyes locked for a moment and Perry returned the smile, placing a paw on the dog's shoulder. He didn't know everything about the dog, what he faced on a daily basis, or even how much stress this job caused him. But he knew one thing; all the agents were stressed. But for better or worse, they were in the trenches together.
Perry gently clapped the dog on the shoulder before leaving, tipping his fedora good-night.
By the time he got back to his cubicle, it was 8:45. Perry glanced at the computer, glanced at the paperwork...and shrugged. It could wait until tomorrow. Right now?
He closed down his computer and smiled. Right now, he had a family to go home to.