Episode 7 : Operation Retcon.
Chapter 1 – Genesis.
Big Boss was alive and well.
There were so many things wrong with that fact. Snake took another drink of the alcoholic concoction he'd mixed together to stifle his thoughts. Just a few hours ago, they had boarded a rather fancy yacht and were on their way to a private island. There was so much to be bothered by and yet Big Boss was acting like nothing was wrong. Big Boss was sitting on a large couch across from the bar Snake was hunched over, working on a PowerPoint presentation through Libre Office on a Dell laptop still running Windows XP because he refused to adopt any other version.
The presentation was part of two briefings that they would receive. They would have to read the first part on their own. It was essentially Big Boss' autobiography and none of them were looking forward to being asked to read it. The second part would contain their first mission under his command. Big Boss wasn't answering any questions and everyone had decided to leave him alone. They had quickly become lost in their own worlds.
Snake turned to glance at Meryl, who was sitting on a couch across the room reading a novelization of the first Resident Evil game by S.D. Perry when she wasn't looking over at him. She had been doing that ever since he got back from his last mission. Snake couldn't even bathe without her pressing her ear up against the outside wall to make sure he didn't collapse in the shower. In retrospect, he had nobody to blame but himself. When he had let her move in with him, he knew what he was getting into.
His life had gotten quite surreal over the past five months. He made a Long Island to carry him through the prologue. After Otacon had hit a dead end in his quest to find the Patriots, Snake had decided that Manhattan wasn't the place for him. Alaska was much better. Otacon had decided to come with him. Snake had made the mistake of telling Campbell where he was going and soon many of the people he had worked with decided to follow him there.
For the next round, Snake grabbed a larger glass and mixed a blue margarita. His new life in Alaska had been pleasant until Ocelot had shown up with some of the people he thought he had killed. None of them were out for revenge and they all wanted to befriend him. At first, he had kept to himself, plagued by the demons that had never stopped haunting him. As a result of his isolation, Snake had experienced what he could only describe as a temporary round of schizophrenia involving an intense hallucination where his dogs had urged him to get out of the house more often. He couldn't argue with them since he had been far too terrified.
The rest was equally as absurd and deserved a whiskey sour. Ocelot's celebratory dinner party commemorating Snake's departure from reclusion had ended in tragedy when a mercenary appeared and had cut off his hand. Somebody had seen to it that Ocelot received Liquid's hand while he was in the hospital, which was not what he had wanted. This resulted in a minor confrontation between Snake and him that led to everyone belittling Ocelot for being a lunatic. It had caused Liquid to experience a minor existential crisis that kept him neutered.
Big Boss' fully stocked bar was a true thing of beauty. The rest of the boat was pretty nice as well. Snake accidentally grabbed a bottle of Absolut Vodka, shuddered in revulsion, and chose the bottle of Smirnoff right next to it. His next drink was a screwdriver. Once things had returned to normal, Snake had taken a job at the Praying Mantis with Psycho Mantis as his supervisor. With Naomi's help, they had managed to eradicate a strain of nanomachines that had caused blood donors in the area to cosplay as their favorite fictional characters.
Mixed drinks were getting trickier to make. Snake grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and poured himself a glass of whiskey. There were other minor events that had happened since the whole thing had begun such as Vulcan Raven's legendary birthday party and the infamous Halloween block party blowout, but they all paled in comparison to when Big Boss had finally showed up at Snake's front door. Big Boss had asked Snake to help him on a mission to retrieve an AI that was supposed to replace the malfunctioning GW. Since the AI was as powerful as three of the Patriots current computers, he planned to find their location and take over their system with the help of the new AI. They would not have been able to steal the AI without Ocelot's help. There had been many subtle hints that had indicated that Big Boss was still alive prior to his arrival and that Ocelot had been working for him all along, but none of them had been very convincing until that moment.
FOXDIE had returned during that episode and all Naomi could do was provide Snake with a serum she had called Aglaophotis. It was designed to flush certain nanomachines out of the system of whoever took it. Only a certain amount could be taken daily or the person in question would die of dehydration. Aglaophotis had worked marvelously on the cosplayers, but it had taken three shots to get FOXDIE under control. His last attack had been particularly memorable, which was only natural since they had a habit of increasing in severity. He had been certain that the next one would take him out. Snake had been taking the medicine as quickly as Naomi could pump it out and it seemed like he was safe. Ocelot also suffered an attack, but only once. He had quickly exchanged Liquid's arm for a prosthetic to get his blood out of his body.
Snake reached for the bottle of whiskey and discovered that it was empty. He couldn't remember drinking the whole thing. Snake got up from his seat and walked behind the bar. He grabbed another bottle of whiskey and turned around. Meryl was standing in front of him with her arms crossed. A scowl was on her face.
"You put that back," Meryl said. "Have you been keeping track of how much you've had to drink?"
"I can still stand," Snake said. "Obviously I can have another one."
"No, you've had more than enough."
Snake put the bottle back. Big Boss raised one hand in the air, flicked his wrist, and made a sound akin to a whip cracking. He then went back to work. Snake took his cigarettes out, ignored Meryl's scowl, and lit one up. She went back to her book. Snake sat at the bar, unfazed by all the booze he had just consumed. He heard Big Boss pound on his track pad to try and make the computer do something he couldn't figure out on his own. Perhaps before the day was out he'd be able to apply a nice background to his slides.
Otacon entered. He had ten sheets of crumpled notebook paper in one hand.
"Do you have a minute?" Otacon asked Big Boss.
Big Boss looked up from his work and took the short story from Otacon. He had asked him to make a list of everything that he had lost when his house had been destroyed during an attempt on his life that had failed. Some of the anime paraphernalia he owned was rare and out of print, but Big Boss could easily afford to force somebody to make an exact replica.
"You need nine Miku Hatsune nedoroid's?" Big Boss asked, to which Otacon nodded. "Why?"
"One to take out of the box, one to display in the box, one to put into storage in case my house is ever blown up again, and six to sell on eBay when the time is right."
"Whoever heard of a frugal billionaire?" Snake asked nobody in particular.
"This boat isn't exactly cheap," Meryl replied in Otacon's defense. "I know because you left the price tag on this couch."
"I was just asking," Big Boss said. "I'll buy him everything on this list just like I said I would."
"Is something called Dark on that list?"
Big Boss took a minute to check.
"Yes."
"Don't buy him that."
"I'm not buying you Dark, Hal."
Otacon sighed and left the room in defeat. The sound of Raiden's goofy laugh permeated through the next room and filled the lounge in a muffled cacophony of several disjointed tones. He had to be watching a comedy, which meant nothing since Raiden had a poor sense of humor. Even though they were on a quest to essentially take over the world, their usual hijinks hadn't been stifled by Big Boss' presence. Now that Snake thought about it, they hadn't been missing when he was on his mission to retrieve the AI either.
He had no idea how they were going to stand a chance against the Patriots in their current condition, but he had to be optimistic. They were in the company of Big Boss. His legendary status hadn't been gained by his feats as a soldier alone. Big Boss was a brilliant strategist. So long as Big Boss remained in control of the operation, they stood a small chance at stopping the Patriots.
With nothing else to do, Snake left the cabin and went to see what Ocelot had been preoccupied with. Two of Big Boss' personal guards gave him a nod as he went above deck. They were members of the League of Five, which was but one of many PMC's Big Boss had hired to work for him. There seemed to be no limit to what he could buy, which made it all the more silly that he refused to purchase a copy of Microsoft Office Home and Student. He had constructed his bottomless wallet through wise investments, a few tricks, and a great deal of luck. At this rate Big Boss would simply never run out of money.
Three more guards were to be found out on the deck, but they were dressed like civilians and had their weapons hidden nearby. Snake had been certain they were never seen without their combat gear on during an assignment. They must have made a very special exception for the sake of their current client. None of them looked anything like Snake had expected.
They were as silent as ever, which did little to soothe Snake's nerves. Snake believed they were connected on a psychic level. Though they never said anything, they always knew what to do. When they had to communicate with somebody outside of their unit, they used sign language. Each member had solid credentials that made up for their odd behavior. They were part of the small security team Big Boss had hired to protect them while they were holed up in his manor on one of his private islands. When it came time to go out on a mission, the League wouldn't be joining them.
The weather was beautiful and the ocean was quite calm. Ocelot was at one end under the close surveillance of two guards while he went fishing in a set of clothes that were perfect for an old man on vacation. His suit was too hot to wear in these waters. Ocelot turned his attention to Snake at his approach. He was wearing a set of reflective sunglasses and had convinced one guard to hold his beer for him while another burdened the weight of an iHome stereo system playing horrible music. Playing With the Boys by Kenny Logins was polluting the air and contributing to global warming.
"That submarine will never find us," Snake said.
"You're just paranoid."
Ocelot snapped his fingers together. The guard holding his beer came closer. Ocelot finished the can off, crushed it against the skull of the soldier in front of him, and then passed the crumpled can back to him. The guard tossed it in a blue recycling bin and retrieved another can of beer out of a cooler. All of this was done wordlessly with the smooth efficiency that was so characteristic of the League of Five. Snake stole a beer, figuring it would set a little better than the hard liquor he'd been drinking. He recalled an old rhyme that warned alcoholics to only drink beer after they had drunk whiskey and not before. It could have been the other way around. Snake didn't care at the moment.
"You're looking more ugly than usual. Are you always like this right after a mission?" Ocelot remarked.
Snake nodded.
"By the way, what are you going to do about your dogs?" Ocelot asked.
"What do you care?"
"I'm entitled to be nice every so once in a great while to balance out my karma. Is the League still taking care of them?"
"No. We can't take them with us. They're being looked after elsewhere since my house is probably a hotspot by now."
Snake stared off into the distance. He could barely see the other yacht ahead of them. Naomi was on that ride. Big Boss didn't want his boats to go to waste. He insisted that they bring both of them. There were a few other guests onboard as well, but Big Boss didn't bother saying who. It was all part of the show and Big Boss seemed to be reveling in his production as everyone aboard squirmed, eager to know what exactly was going on.
"You should tell me something I don't know. I'll act dumb just to make Big Boss happy," Snake said.
"That's not hard for you and I just can't. It would break his heart."
"How about a hint?"
"You want a hint?"
"Yes, please."
Ocelot thought about it for a moment and then grinned.
"Press the circle button repeatedly to - "
Snake held up his hand to stop him. Ocelot chuckled. He wasn't going to get anywhere. Rockit by Herbie Hancock began playing on the iHome. Snake left Ocelot to his fishing. This was all so boring. Snake found his way to one of the personal cabins and lied down on the bed for only a moment when a suffocating wave of fatigue suddenly overtook him. It would be good to take a nap. When he woke up, they would be at the island. Drunk as he was, he didn't even have time to adjust himself before passing out in a sprawled position with his mouth partially open.
X
Snake stirred some hours later at the sound of a cell phone ringing to the tune of Hare Hare Yukai and he knew immediately that it didn't belong to him. His cell phone was still in Alaska, stacked with over two hundred prepaid minutes because he hardly ever used it. He awoke in pain, regretting the position he had slept in. The imprint he had left on the memory foam was still evident after he stood up and when he inspected it he could clearly see why he was feeling so sore. The phone was on the bedside table. Snake grabbed it and answered the call.
"Are you awake yet?" Big Boss asked.
"Yes," Snake replied while he stretched.
"Finally! Meryl and Otacon wouldn't let me wake you up. They said doing so would be dangerous. I knew what they meant. I'm kind of the same way. It's been three hours since you clocked out and we're just now getting ready for the big presentation. We've already docked and if you can't find your way to the house than you have no business being here."
Snake, wake up! a familiar voice demanded within his head.
It was so loud that he had to grab his skull in pain and shake his head from side to side to drop the ringing out of his ears. The noise seemed to originate in the middle of his brain and billow outwards in twin trails of numbing displeasure.
Get out of bed!
"Otacon said we should just leave you a cell phone. Chill Penguin volunteered hers for the task."
Chill Penguin. She was a half Japanese girl in her twenties that was an explosives expert who had let her fan girl whims completely dominate her personality. She had a penchant for stuffing grenades into handmade plushies of anime characters.
"You brought that stupid brat along?"
"Of course I did. I own her contract for the next year."
There's cornflakes on the table and I know how much you love Grandma's Buns so we've got some of them too!
Snake was on his knees with his eyes nearly bulging out of his skull.
"Mantis, I know you know I'm already out of bed! Shut up!"
I'm just being a jerk. Mantis said in Snake's head at a lower volume.
"Mantis is communicating with you telepathically, I take it?" Big Boss asked. "You should really get implants."
"No thanks."
"Hurry up to the manor before I start the party without you."
Big Boss hung up. Snake dug the echoes out of his ears and went into the bathroom. Gazing into the mirror, Snake noticed that he was looking slightly older than usual. His beard was getting a little feisty so he searched the bathroom for a trimmer and was not able to find one. Snake spotted some gray hairs on his head. There weren't that many quite yet, but it wouldn't be long before they took over. A very heavy weight came down upon him and he felt his gut sink. He plucked out a strand of gray hair and stared at it. His life flashed before him in a series of specific flashbacks that nobody would bother pressing X for because that was a stupid game mechanic. If he didn't believe that he had spent his time about as well as he could have, he'd have another problem that would wait until he was trying to sleep until it demanded to be solved. Snake let go of the hair and watched it fall into the sink before he left the bathroom.
The boat was empty and had been docked at a harbor. He couldn't see the manor from the dock, but he spotted a path that lead into some heavy foliage. The moment he stepped on the beach he felt the strange sensation of being watched. He began following the path through the trees and tripped over something and fell forward. He stopped his fall with both of his hands before his head could collide with the ground. Whatever had impeded his path began squirming under his legs.
Snake pinned the camouflaged figure lying beneath him in the sand in an instant. The soldier was wearing the same suit he had worn a week ago. OctoCamo. It automatically generated a camouflage pattern based on the texture of the surface the person wearing it was up against. Not many were in production since Ocelot had made sure the only factory capable of making them had been heavily sabotaged. He hadn't said what he had done with the first run of suits, but it was clear that Big Boss had them. Snake could barely see the AK-47 with camouflaged plating on the sand a few inches away that the guard had abandoned in favor of flailing his arms in a spastic attempt to get out of the situation he had found himself in.
The sound of Mantis laughing filled his head. If he were insane, Snake figured he'd hear something like it every minute of his life.
Easy, easy! He's with us! Mantis finally managed to say.
Snake let the man go and stood up. The soldier remained in the sand, rubbing his throat and coughing.
"You twit! Why are you on the path? You should be crouched in those bushes over there!" Snake yelled. "You're lucky I didn't kill you. What's your name?"
The guard didn't answer since he belonged to the League of Five. Snake grabbed the camouflaged rifle and knocked him out with it so that he'd learn a lesson. The plating was synched to the suit of the unconscious soldier. Once Snake was out of range, it would revert to a solid black color. Snake stripped the guard of his handgun, which was the ever present 1911. So long as they stuck with Big Boss, nobody would ever get away from that handgun. When the guard woke up, he'd have to go back to Big Boss in order to retrieve his weapons. Snake imagined Big Boss would have a few things that he would want to say to him.
Relieved to be armed, Snake continued forward. He felt more eyes watching him and couldn't help but look where he knew the guards were as he traveled along a beaten path up a hill where a fancy mansion rested in ritzy glee. One of the guards was so obvious that he whistled shrilly and pointed at him. The guard repositioned himself and Snake nodded in approval.
Four guards were standing at the front door of the manor. Now owned by Big Boss, the League was able to enjoy better equipment than a soldier in the American military. Their gear was camouflaged in a woodland pattern. It wasn't Octocamo, which was built specifically for stealth. These soldiers were dressed to withstand an assault. One even wore a powered exoskeleton. They gave him a simultaneous wave. Snake returned their gesture with a polite nod.
Chill Penguin opened the door for him before he could knock and motioned for him to come inside the foyer. He returned her phone and noted how plain the interior looked. This was a simple safe house that had been built in the past five years. A couple of maids were trying to set up decorations to make it comfier. One was putting an old typewriter on an equally old table big enough to hold just that and an ink ribbon by a staircase leading to the second floor. Two were setting up a large HDTV in the living room. These women varied widely in ethnicity, though all of them were dressed in the same basic uniform, which was tasteful and still easy to look at without showing too much skin. Big Boss encouraged deviation as there were slight variations in how the uniform was worn amongst the maids. Some looked to be about as young as twelve.
"These women were being sold as sex slaves on the black market," Big Boss announced as he walked into the room. "I either recruit them to work for me or send them back home."
"And yet you still manage to avoid getting discovered?"
"Hey, I just look like Big Boss. What's it to you?"
"I'm sure every old man with a beard is missing their right eye."
"Let me worry about that. I know what I'm doing and no, it isn't easy. Trust me. Where did you get that gun?"
"One of your guards thinks this is Call of Duty 4."
"Which one?"
"The guy wearing Octocamo."
"Are you serious? He was a marine. He had the best service record out of all of them. That's why I let him wear one of our only extra suits. How many mercs did you spot along the path up to the house?"
"All of them, but I know where to look. Only one of them was out of place."
Big Boss rolled his eye.
"I suppose they all can't be useful. By the way, I can't have you walking around with that gun just yet. Things are going to get a little heated within the next half hour and the fewer weapons everyone has, the better. Please give them up."
Chill Penguin stood in front of him attentively, ready to receive the guns. Snake handed them over, watching her eyes while he did so. They were closed tight while she offered him a brilliant smile that was characteristic of so many anime girls out there. When she opened them for a moment to make sure that she had been given both weapons, Snake got his first good look at her eyes. They were huge. She was wearing contact lenses that magnified the eye to ridiculous anime proportions. He tried to remember if she'd had those on before and he couldn't. Snake assumed he just had not been paying that much attention to her and he didn't plan on doing so now.
In exchange for the weapons, she gave him a canister of something called Black Gum and left the room.
You should see her psychological profile. I'll send it to you later. Mantis said.
Mantis, if you value our friendship -
Hey, I'm just talking to you. I'm not looking where I shouldn't. You need a massage.
"Let's get this over with," Big Boss said with an eager smile.
He motioned for his clone to follow him. Snake was led into a cozy home theater that was packed with familiar faces. It was a sensory overload. They all clapped when he arrived as if he were the man of the hour. He took a moment to see who he would be working with. The major players were a given. Naomi Hunter, Otacon, Revolver Ocelot, and Raiden were sitting next to each other in the back row.
Anna, the only other member of the now defunct group Blue Death besides Chill Penguin who had not betrayed Big Boss during the raid on Outpost Three, sat by herself in the second row. She regarded Snake with a bemused smirk. Her talent in battle involved going completely berserk and tearing into the enemy with her bare hands, fueled by an insane amount of adrenaline and the desire to see blood. Anna had ruined her body by opting for a few modifications that she claimed were reversible. In addition to cat like pupils, she had nails that could tear through anything and teeth that could bite through steel. Snake assumed that she had sneezed since he last saw her and was slightly impressed to see that her lips were still intact. She gave him a look that Meryl would have had a talk with him about if she had noticed it. Snake didn't really care for her. Unlike Big Boss, he didn't have a thing for blondes.
Meryl Silverburgh sat in the third row near Psycho Mantis and Olga Gurlukovich. It was quite a surprise to see Olga. He figured that he would soon learn why she was there. Mantis motioned for Snake to come sit down between him and Meryl. He wasn't wearing his gas mask, but the reconstructive surgery he'd undergone made up for it. Snake accepted the request while Big Boss went to the front of the room. Big Boss pulled a remote out of his pocket and pressed a button. The room went dark. He pressed another button. A PowerPoint presentation made with Impress appeared on the screen behind him with a fancy transition and highly readable font. A moody tune that accompanied the atmosphere began playing through the speakers. The first slide was titled Operation Retcon, which made Otacon snicker.
"Just a few more minutes, guys," Big Boss requested, checking his cell phone for the time.
Chill Penguin entered the room and took a seat beside Anna. She had brought a bag full of popcorn and a bottle of soda with her. There was still plenty of room available. All ten of Big Boss' maids came in and stood with their backs up against the wall at the entrance of the room. Four members of the League of Five came in and began taking up the corners of the room. It was clear that they belonged to the League because each had an emblem of the number five sewn on their shoulders. The number looked like it should have been on a jersey. The two at the rear of the room had MGL's on them, which was unusual. The two in the front carried Benelli shotguns.
"Is that everybody?" Big Boss asked.
"Yes, sir," a maid answered as she closed the doors to the room.
"Otacon, front and center."
He quickly got out of his seat and walked up to Big Boss, who showed him the remote he was carrying.
"All I have to do is press this button?" Big Boss muttered, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Yeah, and if you want to go back you press this one," Otacon said, pointing at the button he was referring to on the remote.
Big Boss nodded and shooed him back to his seat. With that, he launched into his presentation.
"Good evening and welcome to Sinbad's Hideaway. Here we have forty acres of land and ten lovely maids to meet your every need."
The maids bowed at the attention given to them.
"I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Well!" Big Boss interjected very loudly to keep the snide comments at bay. "It's because you were all involved in some way or another with a series of plots staged by the Patriots. I have a lot of things to talk about this evening. Once I'm finished you are free to roam the grounds, flirt with my maids, and party it up because we're still cruising through Golden Week, boys and girls. I promise you that once it ends we're going to hit reality hard so enjoy the intermission while you still can."
He let that sink in for a moment before continuing. Even though the speech wasn't very well prepared, they could all feel themselves captivated by his charisma.
"Now on to the first matter of business. How many of you in this room are supposed to be dead right now? Raise your hands. Don't be shy."
Mantis and Olga raised their hands without shame.
"Well, guess what?" Big Boss asked. "You're both clones."