Disclaimer: I had a nice dream last night that me and my friends were sorted into Hogwarts and met up with our favorite characters, but woke up to realize not only was it not true, but I don't own the Harry Potter series either… (Sorry to disappoint)

Thus, in case you did not get the picture, I don't own the series (JKR does) nor do I have any affiliation with her or Warner Bros. etc…

Dedication: To my friend Kaleigh who got me started, thanks for everything-(except my couple is going to get together not yours!).

A/N: This is a series of reflections by characters from HBP (one per chapter), and despite the fact they may be dead-I don't care they're talking anyways!

Chapter 1

Misjudged

Now as I look back on the events of the last year I can truthfully say that I loathe myself.

Of course, I loathed myself the very instant I swore that oath.

Why did I swear it? To defend to Order? To save the world from imminent darkness or to rid it of the 'impure'? Or was it simply because I could not stand to see the boy whom I looked at as my own son suffer more hurt and rejection?

For yes, contrary to popular belief around Hogwarts I am human despite what Potter's Weasel might have said I do have feelings for others besides myself.

Feelings for a silver-haired boy just about his age as a matter-of-fact. I think they were driven by sympathy, I can see myself in him. Perhaps my family was never entirely rich, but we were still just as proud as his and I was abused by my father just the way he was. I had just as much of a name to live up (or down depending on your opinion) to. This thirst to prove myself coupled with a hatred for all things muggle led to my taking his mark. It was so satisfying to do something for the betterment of our world for once in my life.

I also wanted to get revenge on a certain red-haired, green-eyed, muggle-born Head Girl who chose an idiotic prankster over me. If all muggle-borns acted like that I failed to see why we allowed them into our world at all, since they all seemed like such numbskulls.

You think I'm jealous? Holding a grudge too long? Letting past mistakes determine my choices? Well guess what? You're right. I was supposed to be her friend; we were Slughorn's 'dynamic duo' in potions, the best students for the year. I was supposed to be Head Boy, my grades were always better than his until sixth year when he finally buckled down. I was supposed to be her husband, I was the one who loved her…and Harry should have been my son.

Instead I became the miserable potions master of Hogwarts with an overly large nose (due to one of his pranks gone awry that wasn't curable) and oily hair who had no hopes of ever leaving bachelorhood behind after she rejected me.

This boy with grey eyes and silver hair is so much like me that I could not-would not allow such an evil fate to befall him if I had any say in the matter.

So I swore the oath, knowing full well what I had to do if he failed as I knew he would. He is different from me for three reasons and three alone. First, he has money and second he is much more handsome than I ever was; but most importantly he cannot kill an innocent being.

And I can.

I suppose that speaks volumes for our characters.

What I'm sure you're wondering right now is, 'Whose side are you on?' I'll make it simple for you, I've always been for the light-and still am-ever since the Potters were threatened.

Deep down I may have been hurt badly-terribly by Lily Evan's choice, but I did not wish her or her son dead. I could not, because small part though it might be, I still loved her. It was me who warned Dumbledore about the coming attack, but unfortunately not soon enough to do much.

Taking recent events into account I have no doubt that under the names of Voldemort and Lestrange I am at the top of the Ministry's 'Hit-List' though, and I am sure the Order will not trust me either.

I am not denying that I wish I could have made different decisions, and perhaps given the choice I would. No, I lie, I would.

So what will I do now?

The only thing I can do, hide my student from the Deatheaters who are after his skin and teach him right for once. I will also train for the final battle, where we both shall be; to prove for once that not all Slytherins are bad.

Now please excuse me, as I have critical things to do…